Choreographers across the country were cringing at the god-awful opening number on AMERICAN IDOL tonight. It physically hurt me to watch the final four count time as they marched across the stage like Kraftwerk only with NO irony or Germaness. They were somewhat sychronized, but please don't call what they did dancing. Ugh! Painful.The first 60 seconds of the "trip to Vegas" infomercial for The Beatles and Cirque de Soleil paid for what Heather Mills got in her divorce settlement, and the rest paid for Paul's wet lawyer (and her dry cleaning bill). Did McCartney and Nigel Lithgow go out drinking one night and start a bromance? [shudder.] All you need is cash. No! Wait, love! All you need is love. No, wait! Cash!
Bo Bice reminded me of Ian Astbury from The Cult (in a good way). I loved his gravely voice and gravely look. Doesn't he know ladies with cancer need wigs? He's so ALMOST sexy. He has very pretty and luxurious eyelashes. The only thing missing from his performance was riding in on a motorcycle (or a horse).I watched this "show" in about 15 minutes thanks to my trusty TiVo. Thanks, TiVo!
Spoiler alert!
Yay! Hooray! Finally! My co-least favorite Idol is GONE! And, he went out with a whine. "Whiney whine whine I'm not very good blah blah yadda I'm lame". And, like Brooke White, my other co-least favorite Idol, Jesus Castro went out on a train wreck performance with no brakes. Luckily, the show ran over and Jesus was cut off by the 10 o'clock news. Ok, "dreads" you're off the hook. You can go back to playing hackey-sack in the parking lot at shows, and playing guitar with your shirt off on the beach. The ladies dig that, dude.
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