Hiatus

We've gone fishin'!!

The Sectional -- like MOST of TV -- is on hiatus... sorta. We're still Twittering, but it's just too darn HOT in Seattle to post full blog
posts. Plus, TV has slid into the summer doldrums. It's not pretty.

Set your Twitter to "FOLLOW" and let's micro-blog this August out like mutha! @thesectional

The Twitter feed is in the sidebar to the right too. --->>

See you in September (or October) with new posts about Ben from Ace of Cakes, Jeff from Time Warp, Anderson Cooper, Regis and Kelly and so much more!

Joy Philbin Phan Club!

I LOVE me some Joy Philbin. As much as I love Kelly, I wish Joy would co-host more often. Joy Philbin is a breath of fresh air on TV. She and Regis are so comfortable in front of the camera that anything goes. It makes for very exciting television, especially in the morning. No matter how bat-shit crazy Kathie-Lee Johnson Gifford gets on the 15th hour of the TODAY SHOW, Regis and his old lady have got her beat by a MILE in the entertainment category. Joy co-hosted on today's LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY. You can watch the hilarious host-chat online.

2009 Will Be a Let Down After This

Whoever is in charge at CNN and paired Super Duper Extra Sexy Closeted Anderson Cooper with Kathy God Damn Griffin deserves a special Emmy award. It just doesn't get any better! If Lance Bass shows up, I'll poop myself! I am going to TiVo the crap outta this show! Though, I'll probably be at home watching it on TiVo anyway. I'm not one for big holiday parties. I'm a nester. Only a Platinum Club Fag Hag like Griffin (and Kelly Ripa) can bring the big ol' gurl in Anderson out. Anderson is a giggling mess after 20 minutes with Griffin or Ripa. I'm hopin' and prayin' that when Regin tosses in the towel on his 25+ year LIVE morning TV show, that Anderson Cooper will replace him. I don't wish Regis ill, I just hope Coop gets his host chair when Regis moves on to a twice nightly show at the Trump Palace in Atlantic City. The countdown to New Year's Eve with Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin is ON, bitches!

Live WIth Barack And Kelly

The highlight of my morning (every weekday morning) is the host chat segment of LIVE WITH REGIS & KELLY. However, this week the Reg and Kelly host chat has been pre-empted by President Elect Barack Obama on BOTH Monday and Tuesday. Now, don't get me wrong. I know the country is sliding deeper into the shitter every day and I need to know what's going on, but how am I supposed to take bad news like that without Kelly (and occasionally Regis) to cheer me up. Fortunately, you can watch the host chats online. There's probably just one more show this week. President-Elect Obama, if you're reading this, please schedule your speech tomorrow AFTER host chat! It's only 20-30 minutes. Thank you for listening.

Four Horsemen of The Heidipocolypse

The final four designers from PROJECT RUNWAY were on LIVE WITH ____ & KELLY this morning. Surprisingly (or not) Kenley was still a whiney, teary, spaz on Lw/_&K who feels like "everyone kinda ganged up on me." You're damn right, they did! They shared a group hug with Regis. Then when Regis asked them why they should win Korto said, [paraphrased] "Because I represent a missing or forgotten segment of women seeking fashion choices." Leanne said, [paraphrased] "Because I've worked really hard to make a name for myself in the field of renewable eco-conscious fabrics." And, Jarell said, [paraphrased] "We're all winners already because millions of people know who we are." And then he cursed on live TV. Kenley said, "Because I'm the best and my dresses sell and my hats sell too." Smooth. Tonight should be fun. My favorite part of PROJECT RUNWAY is when Tim goes "home" to visit the designers. I hope that's on tonight.

Live WIth Regis... Regis?! Yes, Regis and Kel-- What The?!

Today was another busy one for me. I didn't get a chance to watch LIVE WITH ___ & KELLY until after 4PM. Well, imagine my surprise when the "blank" was actually Regis! But then, I was totally freaked out when I did NOT realize that Emily Proctor wasn't Kelly Ripa. Until she opened her mouth, I didn't notice. So, I guess Kelly finally gets a vaca. Good for her. Emily Proctor, though? Oh well, she was pleasant enough. It seems like Kelly can really bring out the "fun" side of people on the show, and Regis is too intimidating to relax with. My take. I always fast forward through the openings of shows like REGIS and ELLEN so I often don't hear who's going to be on unless TiVo tells me or unless the host tells me.

Today, Gelman?!

Of all the days for LIVE WITH ______ & KELLY to pull a stunt like this, they HAD to pick today. I'm super busy and do not have time to fully express my shock and arousal. Today's "fill in the blank" host was... wait for it.... wait for it... Stiffler! Seann William Scott. Really?! I didn't know he was gay, but I guess if he's co-hosting LIVE then he must be. Aaanyway, he's no Anderson Cooper but his first story was about getting "spooned" by a bearish monster truck driver in 1st class on the plane. I was pleasantly surprised by SWS as a co-host. He appeared genuinely warm and giving. You've got to be able to tell a couple good stories about your life. He has "a lot" of tattoos (apparently -- he didn't show us). He shared a few stories about being drunk. We did learn that he is an AMERICAN IDOL fan. Specifically, he has a boner for Brooke White (my least favorite American Idol ever!) He wasn't boring, but he wasn't a laugh riot. I will say that he had a "special" way of sitting on the LW_&K stools that brilliantly featured his package. Not sure why, but the SWS host chat is not yet posted on the LIVE W/ ____ & K web site. And definitely not posted on the LIVE site is the shot (at the veeeery) end of the show of SWS' lightning bolt tattoo on his thigh, yes thigh.

Wake Up Live

I've said it before --and I will keep saying it until every red-blooded American watches LIVE WITH ____ & KELLY every morning-- LW_&K is one of the best shows on TV. And, once again, one of the best opening host chat segments went down this morning with the super-hunky and allegedly (though repeatedly confirmed) gay, Sam Champion. As I often say, I've been watching LW_&K since 1987, and I'm pretty sure Sam Champion was the 16 year-old local weatherman at KABC where LWR&K-L taped back in the day. I've had a crush on him since I moved to NYC in 1987, and he's been a frequent guest and guest host on LW_&K. Today was a gloriously Sam-filled day with the show devolving into the final segment with the aptly named Mr. Champion in bare feet in a kiddie pool pumping a super-soaker like his life depended on it. There are no shows quite like LIVE, so make sure to check it out. Host chats are posted online daily. Sadly, Gelman, there's no web video of Sam Champion in a wet white shirt and wet jeans. This clip from GOOD MORNING AMERICA with Sam and copious amounts of Crisco will have to do for today.

Probst Fans: Better Than A&E's Biography

If --like me-- you are a fan of SURVIVOR and the perpetually sexy Jeff Probst you will be KICKING yourself for missing this morning's LIVE WITH JEFF PROBST AND KELLY. The Probster shared MANY intimate details from his youth and a couple of unbelievable photos of himself in spandex pants with feathered hair circa 1980something. Once again, I can't stress enough that every American human should be watching LIVE WITH _____ & KELLY every morning. if you missed the Probst-a-thon this morning, you can catch it online. The "host chat" is really the best part of the show. Unless the guest is someone super special, I fast forward through. But, the opening of the show is really the best live chat on TV. Plus, some mornings you get to wake up to Kelly wearing some crazy-ass dress. Below is a dress Kelly wore on May 28 (not pictured on Kelly). I ordered two before she even sat down!

Post Dated Post

Sorry SECTIONAL potatoes, but the weather has been too nice here and I've been out in the yard planting and killing plants and almost spraining my ankle. I'm a regular Martha Stewart! Plus, there really hasn't been anything on TV worth talking about. Denise Richards' show is --in a single word-- horrible. No one wants to watch her be "normal." The only reason to watch is to see her wing a laptop at some old lady in a wheelchair and then make out with Näive Campbell in a swimming pool. I have 4 episodes of THE VIEW on my TiVo waiting to be watched, but I'm just not sure I can watch that f#cking show any more. It's like being slapped in the face. After the emotional high of a really good envigorating LIVE WITH _____ & KELLY, it just sucks to have to listen to Elizabitch mouth off about topic after topic which she has NO business mouthing off about. I'm looking forward to watching TPIR repeats this summer when THE VIEW is in repeats, but I just can't delete THE VIEW from my To Do queue. Maybe I should start a "Get Elizabitch Pregant Again" campaign so she'll be off the show again for a few months. BATTLESTAR GALACTICA has lost its damn mind! I hate that the pace of the episodes is so uneven. The episode two weeks ago was a rip-roaring adventure-fest of non-stop action (and --apparently-- a great deal of hyphenation), and the episode last night was a glacially paced introspective mess that put Lee Nader in "charge" of nothing as Presidentemp of the Flying Colonies and the ONLY dude with ANY sense on the whole show leaves things in the hands of a cylon and is taking a chill with a good book. Respectfully, I have to say WTF!?!?! And speaking of WTF, Oscar was invited back on and then immediately voted off of STEP IT UP & DANCE last week, so I barely care what happens now. Nick is still cute, but he's no Oscar. I think we're still stuck in the summer TV doldrums. Here's hoping the next few weeks bring some exciting TV.

Oh, P.S. - The Gayken got some 50 year old lady (yes, lady) preggers AND 50 Cent's baby mama says he tried to kill her.

American Idol Withdrawl

Aaaaaaaugh! Despite an adorable interview with the adorable David Cook this morning on LIVE WITH REGIS & KELLY, I'm having serious AMERICAN IDOL withdrawal. What the bloody hell am I supposed to do on Tuesdays now?!

And do NOT even get me started on the fact that the extra-adorable Oscar from STEP IT UP & DANCE was voted off AGAIN by the stupid judges. If they had ONE ballet challenge, Oscar would have won and Janelle would be sitting at home on her couch. I'm inconsolable!

Tuesday Pretending To Be Monday

Sad news to start my "Monday." Sydney Pollack died. He was definitely one of my favorite directors (and actors). He was so good at both.

My Sydney Pollack Top Five is as follows:

Tootsie (1982) director/actor



The Way We Were (1973) director



Out of Africa (1985) director

The Firm (1993) director

Michael Clayton (2007) actor

I have to say that I usually watch LIVE WITH REGIS & KELLY first thing when I get up in the morning so that if anyone died overnight, I'll hear it from Regis who always gives a celebrity death the proper respect it deserves. And, he usually has a heartwarming story about when he worked with said dead person in the 50's (or 60's or 70's etc.) and ends with some great line like, "We'll miss you, big guy," or something similar. Remember, YOU can always watch the opening of LIVE on the web on their web site right from your desk at work any time of the day... like right now.

TV and The Gays

What is it about the gays that makes them such excellent talk show hosts? Both Neil Patrick Harris (who hosted today, pictured to the left with Kelly) and Anderson Cooper (who's a habitual co-hoster) are exceptional co-hosts on LIVE WITH ______ AND KELLY. Whenever they co-host the show it soars. Regis can still host the show in his sleep (thank goodness) and there is no one like Regis, BUT the show takes on an entirely new character when the super gays co-host with Kelly. Kelly is a super fag hag of epic proportions. I get the feeling there's nothing she wouldn't do for the gays. Today, Neil Patrick Harris was hilarious during the host chat. He just kept knocking these witty remarks out of the park. Then once the interviews started, NPH even made Alan Alda seem vaguely interesting. In my mind, NPH made out a little with Jesse McCartney backstage right before he went on, and it was OK with both or their BFs. Anyway, Kelly then took a tour of "the best of" Off Broadway which was fascinating. She did cartwheels at NAKED BOYS SINGING and danced on a wire in a harness against a ginormous mylar scrim in FUERZA BRUTA. I have to find out more about FUERZA BRUTA. It looks incredible! THEN, as if that weren't enough LIVE for a Friday NPH and Kelly went outside (which I love!) to grill with mega-hunk Cameron Matheson. I'd love to taste Cameron Matheson's grilled swordfish. Hot on so many levels. I didn't want the show to end, but then it did. Ugh, now I have to watch THE VIEW.

Anderson Cooper Penis Bump!

On Friday's LIVE WITH [whoever] & KELLY, Anderson Cooper giggled his way through the show with his usual girlish glee, and then when they got to the exercise segment of the show, I started to giggle with girlish glee. Anderson "Super Duper" Cooper's family jewels were on full display in the shiny track pants he wore (picked out -- no doubt -- by the barely-straight Gelman). Though he protested and refused to do the more risque movements contorted by Kelly "1% body fat" Ripa, Mr. Cooper's package was clearly visible through much of the segment. It was almost as good as mens gymnastics. Until it gets taken down and/or I get sued, here's the best transfer I could make. I mean NO HARM in sharing this glorious moment in penis bump history. The people need to know this happened. Watch and enjoy.

Very Live with Regis and Ke- Joy Philbin!

Even though, I couldn't love Kelly "Crazy Ass" Ripa any more than I do, it's always a wonderful, welcome surprise when Joy Philbin is co-hosting LIVE with Regis. I doubt she knew what she was getting herself into when she agreed to co-host this morning. Today's first 20 minutes were the BEST and WORST the show has ever been! (I think I said that about a show just a few weeks ago too!) I laughed so hard and then I cried. They've pulled some whack-ass stunts on this show. I'm convinced Gelman goes on a shaman retreat once a year and sits in a sweat-lodge until he comes up with ideas like the Yeti give-away, ambush makeovers, and dressing like a woman as often as "comedy" will permit. If you don't watch the show, don't ask. Anyway, today's show was the kind of trainwreck that a show that's been on for 20+ years (that I've been watching semi-religiously since 1987) should never have, which made it ALL the more FUN to watch. But, here's the rub! They didn't post the trainwreck online! And, it's a REAL shame! The online host chat video cuts off right when the show goes off the rails. Shame on your Michael "Shamen" Gelman for taking away the best worst part of today's show! You'll just have to picture Joy Philbin in a beautiful, slinky red dress (that looks pink in the still above) throwing giant chunks of ice at a yeti while wearing giant, bright yellow Platex kitchen gloves. The yeti was wearing a baseball catchers mask but no head piece to the yeti costume. It was like a Fellini circus! It was like a 4th rate reality show! It was glorious. And then someone gave Regis a hammer, and Joy said -- very loudly, with great alarm in her voice, "Who gave Regis a hammer?!" Luckily, no one lost an eye, but it was close at one point. Joy Philbin, you are one classy f*ckin' lady to put up with THAT kind of BS with grace and a sense of humor. Oh my god, it was the BEST and so horrible!!