Thursday, July 31, 2008

RAPING our country

Exxon Mobil reported the fattest operating profit in U.S. corporate history Thursday.

The world's largest publicly traded oil company turned a profit of $11.7 billion for the second quarter. Its earnings were UP 14% from a year

Exxon Mobil cannot absorb all of the money it is making now. Exxon Mobil spent 46% more money buying its stock back in the first half of this year ($18.2 billion) than it did on exploration and capital expenditures ($12.5 billion).

This makes me SICK. SIIIIICK and furious! It should make you sick and furious too.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The "History" Begins: W - Elizabitch Hasselcoulter UPDATE!

I am SO excited for "W" to open and lay Bush's buckass stupidity on the table. I know that Oliver Stone has his critics when it comes to the facts, but heavens bless him for taking on some of the topics that he has. I hope that this starts a truly eyes-wide-open look at the national disgrace, travesty, horror-show, genocide that the Bush Regime has been.

It goes without saying that Elizabitch Hasselcoulter TRASHED the film this morning on THE VIEW based on the trailer without seeing it. She called the FILM biased based on the trailer. She went on and on about how biased the FILM was and how people should go out an watch a good documentary. How about FAHRENHEIT 911 or ENRON: The Smartest Guys In the Room? Does Elizabitch even listen to herself?! She's TRASHING a film based on a 2 minute trailer. When Sherri Sheppard is looking at you like you are crazy, you KNOW you are!

Happy Birthday #4

Happy Birthday to the always dapper Tim Gunn. My future husband number 4 is one of TV's FEW gentlemen.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Ah But We Can Still Post About It!

Finally got around to watching SYTYCD and now have finally gotten around to writing about it. I’ll start off by saying that I’m sad to see Will go. He is an unbelievable dancer and although I’ll miss watching him each week he’ll definitely go on to have an amazing career. Plus, we may get Debbie Allen back as a judge now. Win-win.

Side note: Toni Basil rocks. I’ll never forget seeing her walk by the Caliente Cab Company in NYC when my entire family was eating there during an orientation weekend before my brother started at NYU. It was a pivotal moment – and lemme just say, the girl has not aged a bit. Toni, not Patrick - although he still looks pretty good. I digress...

Another side note: I love Cat Deely but she should never, and I mean never be shot with the camera unless its at an angle. Straight on and her nose is diagonally down the center of her face. Not cute.

1. Will & Courtney doing the Samba. Muy Caliente! I loved the song choice, too.
2. Comfort doing her stupid krump solo. Yawn.
3. Twitch & Katee doing a Mia Michaels contemporary dance that was BRILLIANT! I totally loved this one. Best number of the night.
4. Will channeling James Brown. Holy crap that was GREAT entertainment. Go Will!
5. Comfort & Mark doing a hip-hop routine. I love watching dancers – not big baggy clothes. There were a few tricks here but I’m tired of the same old hip-hop stuff.
6. Katee’s solo is nice.
7. Chelsea & Joshua doing the Tango. Very sexy. Chelsie’s legs are crazy!
8. Mark does his solo – I love Mark but again, it’s the same old thing he always does.
9. Courtney & Will do another number – this time they are doing some kind of hip hop thing that I like better than the Comfort & Mark detention number. I don’t love it but I like it.
10. Chelsie’s solo is fun. She mixes it up a little bit each time. Maybe it’s the costumes?
11. Twitch & Katee do their second number – again this is so much fun. I love watching both of them.
12. Joshua does a pretty cool popping solo.
13. Courtney does a nice solo, too.
14. Twitch does his solo – he’s just got so much personality!
15. Comfort & Mark do their second which doesn’t do it for me. I feel sorry for Mark – I love him and he just hasn’t been that great since he worked with Chelsie.
16. Chelsie & Joshua close the show with their disco routine which was great.

So now to the results show – we already know who gets the boot. Katie is safe. Will is in the bottom 2 – bummer. Comfort is in the bottom 2 again. Mark is SAFE – what? Shocking. Even he was surprised. Again, I love him but he get’s the Nikki McKibbin award this week. Chelsie is safe. Twitch is in the bottom 2. This makes me sad. Clearly something is awry here. Joshua is safe and poor Courtney who they leave in that back room forever is in the bottom 2. Next a few dances of death (or whatever Cat Deely calls them) and on to the filler entertainment.

While we await the results we’re treated to a snooze of a ballet. Maybe it was good but I fast forwarded through it. And then… Ladies and Gents…

Fresh from his chryonics chamber is L.L. Cool J (no pun intended.) I like LL. I liked him about 20 years ago. His song was awful and his “dancers” were even worse. And on a dance competition show? Really now!

The final results were good news/bad news. What do you want to hear first? Good news? Ok. Comfort’s going home. Bad news? Will’s going home. But someone had to go and I’ll admit that I’m glad Twitch is sticking around for another week just because I love his numbers.

Who is your favorite?

Why Do The Good Die So Young?

I was DEEPLY saddened when I went to visit the Red Lasso web site and found the following message from Red Lasso to its fans and users: "Unfortunately, due to the legal actions taken against Redlasso by two networks, we are left with no alternative but to suspend access to our video search and clipping Beta site FOR THE IMMEDIATE FUTURE. The networks have provided a big blow to the blogger community’s right to exercise the first amendment and comment on newsworthy events. It is anti-Web. During this service suspension, we will continue our conversations with content providers, with the goal of establishing formal partnerships that will quickly help us restore access to the Beta site." Isn't there enough wrong with the world? Do giant conglomerate corporations need to take away everything fun and useful? I love you, Red Lasso (even though I don't understand your name). I'm hoping and waiting for the day that Red Lasso can come back bigger, beta-er, and better!

Very sadly, that means to more SYTYCD clips.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Spaced out on Joel McHale - I Heart Fridays!

Holy crap - is it my birthday or something?

Fridays are my favorite day of the week. Fridays offer endless possibilities for the weekend. Fridays are when The Soup is on. I love Fridays. I love The Soup. And I love Joel McHale.

But today, today was even more special than usual.

Not only was I treated to my Joel but in a brilliant promotional plug for Spaced (a Brit com released on DVD today), Simon Pegg (the brilliant star of Spaced, Hot Fuzz, and Shaun of the Dead) made his Soup debut. So despite a rather harried day, I'm feeling much better now.

I'll be watching Spaced next week - yes, it was moved to the top of my Netflix queue this morning! So stay tuned... Until then, I'll post about SYTYCD tomorrow.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Coulda Shoulda Woulda

Patty is on vacation for a bit so he asked me to blog in his stead. A huge undertaking if you ask me but Patty ain't heavy, he's my brother. So I said I'd give it a shot. Let's get started...

I'm already a little behind on my viewing. I'm in for about 4 hours of SYTYCD which I'll get to this weekend. Last night opted for Project Runway - not so sure I made the right decision. Don't get me wrong - I love me some Tim Gunn but I get a little exhausted trying to keep up with all the contestants on the beginning of most reality shows. Take me down to the Top 10 and I'm usually ok. This season of PR, in particular, is especially confusing because most of the contestants look alike, talk alike, and do the same stuff.

Jennifer & Leanne? Same people, right? Emily & Kenley could be in a 40's pin-up girl version of the Parent Trap. And Terry & Korto are like good twin/bad twin.

At the same time, who the hell came up with some of these names? Between the contestants and the models I'm not sure I'm in Kansas anymore: Suede, Blayne, Korto, Tapasio, Jermaine (for a girl), Xaviera? Huh?

Suede was the first featured contestant so you know from the get-go that he's either gonna win or lose. And if you've watched the show you know they ain't gonna let go of the bear with the faux-hawk yet. I'm excited when they announce cocktail dresses. This is something I can relate to - and cocktail dresses are pretty. Yaaaaay!

But after too much drama after the models picking the fabric, one use of "hot mess", Blayne (aka Malibu Ken) talking about leather (he should know - look at his skin) with Stella (um, did Keith Richards and Steve Perry have a love child?), a few people "stepping up their game", and Natalie Portman, I was left disappointed. I'm not even gonna talk about the use of green fabrics because no one on the show did either. It may have been cliche but I wish they had to do cocktail dresses out of hemp or organic cotton or something. I get that they wanted to show that green fabrics can be other things but er, they missed the mark.

My reaction to the runway went something like this: Ew! Boring! HOOTCHIE! WTF? Eh, pretty. Cheeze. Dumb! Ok. Great top - don't look at the bottom. Didn't I see that in season 2? Eh. Stupid! Whoa (in a bad way.) Humph! Did I miss something - are they doing skating dresses? Ug- um - ugly.

My favorite part was Nina's reaction to Korto's dress coming down the runway. Fins! Ha! I actually think she may have broken the botox in her face.

I agreed with pretty much everything the judges said. I didn't like Suede's dress at first but it was the clear winner coming down the runway because of how fun, different (in a good way) and well done it was. On further inspection it was pretty cute. Stella's dress was just plain cheezy but I will give her props for how well done it was. Gross, but well done. Korto's dress was awful - it could have been so good. Coulda shoulda woulda. Whatevs - that girl need to grow a thicker skin if she wants to stay in the competition. Tears?! Puh-leez.

I'm just relieved that Wesley was sent home. Terrible. Stupid short "garment", badly done, and well, he was just a tool anyway. Back to Suede: he's my favorite. Especially after the shout out to his mommy. Adorable.

What did you think of the show? Do you have any favorites?

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Auf and Running

For those of you living under a rock or 3 days behind on your TiVo watching, PROJECT RUNWAY started up again. And, despite the "most diverse" group of contestants ever, the show was a bit of a snooze. Though I usually feel that way about the first few episodes of the season. Thank GOD for Austin Scarlet. I love him. There! I said it. He's like an ever gayer cross between Charles Nelson Reilly and Charles Nelson Reilly. I suspect he may poop Gay anti-matter that could answer questions about the universe.

The cutest guy by far is Daniel Feld. Sadly, the ONLY other cute guy is Keith Bryce and he seems a little bit like a dick. My top three dresses were 3) the oven mitt pasta dress 2) the mop top outfit and 1) I loved Daniel's dress made out of beer cups. It was very Thierry Muegler. The dresses I hated included the candy dress, the veggie dress, and Jerry American Psycho Collection for Patrick Bateman by Ralph Lauren wa the worst by a MILE! Train wreck. Bye.

Weekly BITCHCON Wrap-Up

For all (three) of you out there in the Ether, here's my weekly wrap-up of Elizabitch Hasselcoulter's "antics" on THE VIEW. When will ABC pull the plug on this Anne Coulter wanna be?!

Her holier-than-thou attitude about Bernie Mac pissed me off because once again, Elizabitch was talking out of her ass. With THREE stand-up comediennes on the co-host panel, SHE is the "expert" and "final answer" on the issue of a comedian crossing the line. Then later, when the conversation turned political, the robot Republican Coulter-parrot started up again, "John McCain!" John McCain!"

Hasselcoulter sends the BITCHCON soaring with just the sight of her hideous dress alone, but then she nudges it up to 4 by whining. Boo hoo you rich white bigot! BRAVO to Joy and Whoopi for mocking her openly to her face.

Ever notice how the BITCHCON meter drops at least 1-2 levels when Barbara is sitting next to Hasselcoulter? Maybe on the days the reanimated corpse of Barbara Walters is in cold storage they could sit a cardboard cutout next to Elizabeth to shut her up.

And then the very next day, my theory is blown to shit because Barbara was sitting right next to Hasselcoulter when she melted down and cried. In a show where Sherri Shepard called a white Barbie (the doll) a "ho" it was all hands on deck! And in Elizabitch's weakened --almost human-- state, she aaaalmost listened to what Whoopi had to say about growing up as a black woman in America instead of acting like SHE was the "final answer" on racism and contradicting her. Whoopi must have spat the N-Bomb at Elizabeth at least 6 times. In her FACE! Loved it. And, Elizabeth cried, so I was happy. By the time they finally got around to talking about S & M Barbie, though Whoopi was over the whole show and said when they other ladies (mostly Elizabeth and Barbara) cut her off she said, "I'm gonna let it go because you guys don't know what I'm talking about [personal sexual freedom] and it's a waste of time!" So, Whoopi finally admitted that it's pointless to watch THE VIEW.

Everyone was too exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster of Thursday to raise much fuss today. Don't forgt to check out hunk-du-jour for the weekly wrap-up of THE PRICE IS RIGHT hot guy contestants that I missed while I was watching ELIZABETH'S VIEW on ABC.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Your Vote Is Your Voice

Remember, in November that when you vote you are trusting the planet to an old senile codger or an inexperience panderer. Why not make the right choice, the best choice for all of Earth.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Thank you -- all 3 of you -- for your support

Due to the heartfelt protestations of threes of people, THE SECTIONAL is back for a once-a-week wrap up.

SYTYCD - What's the point without Thayne? And then I get a "bad vibe" about Jessica leaving the show and Comfort returning. It feels TO ME like the producers realized that Jessica got a free pass being paired with Will, and decided to make a slight correction. Kinda like the Supreme Court appointing Bush instead of Gore in 2000. Gee I wonder how things would have turned out for the world if THAT B.S. hadn't gone down. We're so used to it now (after Diebold handed the 2004 election to Bush against the wishes of the people again), that we don't bat an eye when it happens on a FOX dance reality show. Anyway, as they say, on with the show...

I just have to say again that Cat Deeley looked FANTASTIC one night (blue dress) and HORRIFIC (gold dress) the other night. Can't the stylists on this show find some happy medium between whore/drag queen and Beyonce/drag queen? Click the pics for larger views.

In order, here are my favorite pair numbers:
3)Joshua & Courtney's first number which featured great choreography and HOT dancing.
2)Gev & Kortnee's second number was SUPER!
1)Kattee & Will's first number was BY FAR the best of the night. I LOVED it. Tyce rocketed to the top of my husbands list based mostly on this number (see right column).
10) Chelsie - Zzzzzz
9) Kherrington - ZZZZZZ
8) Gev - Started slow, but ended pretty good.
7) Comfort - Zzzzzz. No energy. Lame.
6) Joshua - great tricks, BUT laaaame transitions. like he walked from trick to trick.
5) Katee - not nearly as good as I was expecting
4) Courtney - BAAAAD song. Gooooood dance!
3) Will - BAD music, but good leaps. He has power, but also attitude.
2) Mark - Thayne who? Loooove Mark!
1) Twitch - BEST SOLO of the night, and I would have sent him home last week.

One of my favorite numbers from this season was the Bollywood number on the results show this week.

The Mia Michaels number with the top 5 girls was soooo beautiful, but the direction was downright shitty! It almost ruined the number for me. Ugh and MORE Celine Dion. Christ! Can we have a legal LIMIT on the amount of Celine per episode. I'd prefer the limit be ZERO, but that's just me.
So, as evidenced by the fact that they were both in my personal "Bottom 3" (see above) I'm perfectly happy to see Gev and Khrerrington go home.

My Favorite Site of the Week -

Kathy Griffin is actually too funny. It is possible, and it is happening weekly on her show.

BIG BROTHER 10 - Renny must die. Jesse must strip and be ridden by Gay Rodeo Racist (with or without a saddle, I don't care)! Good lord the puppet show was hilarious. There are HOURS of puppet shows on YouTube. Yay! More Jesse! I hope his HOH room has many half-nude photos of him. That dude who went home bit off a little more than he could chew. He needs to learn lesson #1 in Patty's Reality Show 101 Guide: Lay low, loud mouth!

If you live in West Seattle, be sure to stop by my soon to be growing Zombie Garden.

Coming soon: Tori & Dean & Rob & Big

Coming sooner: Project Runway (I'm busy, people! No time for TiVo -- heresy I know!)

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Please Stand By

Thanks to the threes of people who rallied to my rescue (well, tried to). Though I can't seem to muster a dozen heartfelt "we miss you"'s I'm still planning a triumphant return. I'm planning to post a weekly wrap-up to recap the crap up on Thursday after I watch the SYTYCD results show, though with no Thayne I don't know why I'm even watching. Alright potatoes... sit still for this... UPDATE 7/16: I'm working on my weekly recap. I hope to get it posted by Friday afternoon Pacific time. Keep checking back (repeatedly).

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Stay Tuned, Potatoes

Due to (extremely) low traffic, THE SECTIONAL is closed for a little while. As long as you are here, please feel free to browse the over 165 posts about TV, pop culture, and Seattle. Visit some of my favorite blogs. There's a list to your right. Stay tuned.

Bon Jour, J.R.

UPDATE: Merde! YouTube keeps taking down Le Dallas Fran├žaise! If it's available, watch it immediately as there appears to be some behind-the-scenes legal tomfoolery. You snooze, you loose. POSTE ORIGINAL: Le French Dallas. G-D damn, I love me some alcoholic Sue Ellen Ewing! EVERYONE drank on this show. No wonder the French like it so much. (NOTE: Be sure to check out the comments for the English translation.)

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

So I (still) Think You're a Douche

To get you in the mood for tomorrow's new SYTYCD episode, I thought I'd repost/update my post from last week about douche bag supreme, Nigel Lithgoe. AND, now that I've remembered my Red Lasso password, here's the clip! (P.S. - Red Lasso ROCKS!!!) ORIGINAL POST: What was up Nigel Lythgoe's "C U Next Tuesday" last night on SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE? He's one of like 3 Executive Producers of the show, which means that he gets to do pretty much whatever he wants. So then why (presumably) invite/book Robert The Popper for a SICK dance break and then act like a dick to him after his incredible performance. Robert KILLED a reTARded popping routine between elimination segments on SYTYCD (to C + C Music Factory no less!!), and then Nigel "I've A Stick Up My Royal Bum" Lithgoe proceeded to dis him and basically challenge Robert to a dance off with someone else the judges had cut before L.A. It was in very poor taste regardless of the motivations.
Also, Cat Deeley's hair,make up, and wardrobe were all FLAWLESS.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

I Enjoy Being A Gurl

" I don’t know what went on in his mind when he would go outside unshaven, wearing lipstick. It was almost like, “I don’t want to look like anybody else, I want to do this my way.” Jackie’s way had never been done before. Ronald Tavel once said, “We should always take care of our insane, because they are the Christopher Columbus’ of the mind.” Jackie Curtis certainly was that!" - Harvey Fierstein The song, "I Enjoy Being A Girl" really takes on some fascinating new nuanced meanings when sung by Jackie Curtis. (circa 1974)

The Sectional YouTube Video Player

Browse my favorite YouTube videos as I discover and add them.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Jesse Helms is Dead... FINALLY!

God took him about 89 years too late, but better late than never which was also looking like a possibility. He was a hateful, hate-filled monster. The Earth is a better place without you, assh#le! He once said, "Nothing positive happened to Sodom and Gomorrah, and nothing positive is likely to happen to America if our people succumb to the drumbeats of support for the homosexual lifestyle."

Kathy Griffin IS Like Jesus Only Prettier

Here's a re-post of my original posting (March 12, 2008) from Rosie's blog when Kathy Griffin came to visit wearing Carolina Herrera. Sections of the chat from the blog in question aired tonight on MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST on BRAVO. Kathy Griffin is the funniest woman currently alive. Why Chelsea F#cking Handler has a "nightly" semi-regular show and Kathy Griffin doesn't is beyond me! Kathy Griffin should have a nightly talk show on Bravo. Hello, Bravo, have you seen this clip?! Are you there, Bravo? It's me, Patty. Andy Cohen, call me! I'll produce the show! Kathy Griffin: Nightly, Bitches!

There is NOTHING but CRAP on TV lately, and I would watch an hour (40 minutes on TiVo) of this EVERY morning! More Rosie, PLEASE!

A Short Documentary I Made That No One Ever Watched

Thursday, July 3, 2008

So I Think You're a Douche

What was up Nigel Lythgoe's "C U Next Tuesday" last night on SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE? He's one of like 3 Executive Producers of the show, which means that he gets to do pretty much whatever he wants. So then why (presumably) invite/book Robert The Popper for a SICK dance break and then act like a dick to him after his incredible performance. Robert KILLED a reTARded popping routine between elimination segments on SYTYCD (to C + C Music Factory no less!!), and then Nigel "Stick Up My Royal Bum" Lithgoe proceeded to dis him and basically challenge Robert to a dance off with someone else the judges had cut before L.A. It was in very poor taste regardless of the motivations.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008


Did Mary Murphy inherit Liberace's closet in some bizarre chain of events and custody? Or does she just roll around in glue and then glitter just before air? Either way, I'm blinded AND deafened by her. If she could get her hands on my sense of smell --I assure you-- she would. I will NEVER speak about what Cat Deely was wearing. Except to say that if Shirley Temple, Elizabeth Taylor, and --for some reason-- Ann Magnuson fell into a blender, Cat Deely is what would pop out. Oh wait, there's dancing too!? And THIS time, the dancing started less than 5 minutes into the show and there is lots of dancing. Was someone at SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE reading my blog? (If they were they were the only ones!) Tonight's show just took OFF... for a change. With each duo doing 2 numbers, it'll be a non-stop dance-a-thon. MUCH better than listening to Adam Shankman (pictured under John Travolta) ramble on and on and on.

1st number-Jive-Zzzzz, and just OFF. I think she was off for the whole first section. They got it together, but the number never made me feel anything. The camera work was weird too.

2nd number-Broadway-Thaaaayne! I loooove you! His technique is beautiful to watch!! Comfort is getting better and better. Great choreography too!

3rd number-(Lyrical) Hip Hop-I liked the performance, but I couldn't tell you why. I didn't love it. Can someone explain to me how "Lyrical Hip Hop" is any different than "Contemporary"? Nigel was close with, "...hip hop on sleeping pills."

4th number-Jazz-Their costumes do NOT say "jazz" to me, but daaaaamn they can dance! They could have danced that number in Hammer pants and still rocked it. Mark is soooo goooood and soooo cuuute.

5th number-Paso Doble-Oops, almost dropped her. Then the capes were a mess. But after that, they certainly gave it their all. Kherington looked spookily like Sharon Stone on a diva tirade, which was kinda perfect considering how over the freakin' top it was.

6th number-Contemporary-HOLY CRAP! How does Mia Michaels DO it?! She's the best! I'm in tears. This was one of her best numbers. I have GOT to see a feature-length Mia Michaels dance show. Also, Katee is the best female dancer on the show, and Joshua isn't bad either.

7th number-Hip Hop-This piece was poorly directed and just not hot. You could see both dancers counting in their heads. Is "hip hop" a catch-all term for any dance that isn't ballroom?

8th number-Contemporary-Ugh Mandy Moore! Hate her. Very cheesy but good shirt-work. Nigel made an interesting comment about backstage "meltdowns." Is Will a big drama queen?

9th number-Smooth Waltz-The music was too "Irishy" for my liking, but I really loved the choreography and the dancers were so graceful and smooth.

10th number-Ma'am bo-It was OK, but I didn't really believe it.

11th number-Foxtrot-I love me some foxtrot. I'm glad they are doing more this year. This one wasn't as good a last week's foxtrot, but it was FUN! Fun to watch. Mark looked so damn suave and debonair.

12th number-Contemporary-Sharonstone and Twitch danced a Mia Michaels piece which wasn't as good as the first one, BUT it was still excellent. If Mandy Moore had used rose petals and a bed in a dance piece I would surely have thrown up. This piece was engaging.
13th number-West Coast Swing-Fierce number. More Benjy! I'd love to see Benjy choreography something other than swing, though. The number was good, but I missed half of it due to a thunder storm alert that lasted for like 3 minutes for a part of the area with about 5,000 people living there.

14th number -Broadway-Yikes! I thought this piece was a disaster. It seemed so "Disney Themepark."

Overall, the costuming department should be shot in the face for this weeks crazy array of costumery.