You Didn't Ask But...

Here's what I thought of the most politically charged Emmys telecast in my lifetime on Sunday. The pokes and jabs at George Bush and the last 8 years just kept on coming allll night long. The evening started a little bumpy. People in the 4th balcony were given vertigo by Oprah's jiggling bosom. It actually registered on the Richter scale. The "hosts" of the show said it best, "don't follow Oprah." The "reality" of the opening bit was really weak for me. It sort of pointed out how limited some of the hosts talents are. It also pointed out that reality shows really need editing to work. I thought Heidi looked better in the suit than the onesie. Who is directing this show? A monkey? Howie Mandel? No one?! The shots are allll over the place. It's a mess! Also, Jeremy Piven REALLY should have written something before he got up there, but he pulled it out of his butt in the end. Even though he came off as more Ari Gold than Jeremy Piven. I love Jean Smart and SAMANTHA WHO. My favorite DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES actresses' dress was (barely) Marcia "Crazy As a Sh!T House Rat" Cross. And her makeup was flawless! I did NOT care for any of the other dresses. Ricky Gervais' comic timing is brilliant. He had that giant crowd in the palm of his hand. Tommy Smothers has STILL got it though it seemed like he'd lost it once or twice during his speech. Josh Groban's medley made him seem insane and pretty gay. I can say that because I am gay. I could barely keep up with what he was singing. Parts of it were funny, but mostly I was cringing. Poor Josh Groban. He just doesn't have an identity to me. And, this performance really showed why. He's everyone at once. Then Laura Linney won ANOTHER award, and it looks like I'll have to watch JOHN ADAMS on DVD now. Though, I still highly recommend BERNARD & DORIS, I have to give Linney props for taking a dig at Rudy Guiliani in her acceptance speech. There are no words to describe my joy at the (idea of the) LAUGH-IN bit! Lily Tomlin is a goddess. Joanne Worley has still got it. Who knew Ruth Buzzi was still alive?! Sadly, the bit stunk up the joint. It was a technical/timing nightmare and oddly anachronistic. Lauren Conrad at The Emmys?! Holy SH#T! I can not believe the Earth didn't open and swallow the entire theatre. No! No! No! I'm so happy Kathryn Joosten won Best Supporting Actress for DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. She's a hoot! Then Barry Sonnenfeld won for PUSHING DAISIES, which I'll now have to watch on DVD. He should definitely stay behind the camera. Then... Yay!! More Emmys for Tina Fey! Then Jed Bartlett, my favorite President ever, showed up to give some historical perspective to the show. In an evening where George Bush was taking jabs from everyone at the mic, of course RECOUNT won the Emmy for Best Made for TV Movie. It really was "stick it to George Bush" night, and --as I've said before-- it's about 6 1/2 years too late, folks. Anyway, despite the fact the George Bush has driven this country into a ditch we'll never get out of, the awards show went on... to bash John McCain. Interesting to note, John Adams was one of the people who fought to get us all freedom of speech, and the winning writer of JOHN ADAMS was cut right off by the director of the show mid-sentence of a sentence about speaking in complete sentences. Kathy Griffin looked FANTASTIC and made people give Rickles a standing O. Then she really rolled with the punches as Rickles ran the show. She really had to hang on for dear life as as Rickles careened around the edges of good taste. Especially this past season, I do not think THE AMAZzzzzzING RACE deserved an Emmy over PROJECT RUNWAY, or AMERICAN IDOL for that matter. Hey, Sally Field, lose the sleevelettes! Even TiVo-ing through the commercials, this show seemed sooooo long! Couldn't they tell when they showed half a SEINFELD episode that the show might run a little long?! I love me some Alec Baldwin! I'm glad that he won for 30 ROCK too. I hope 30 ROCK goes on forever. Glenn Close and Sharon Gless are morphing into the same woman more everyday. That keeps me up at night. Then they did the "In Memorium" montage, which always gets me right here. I tear up. I do. Here is a list of people I didn't know were dead or already thought had been dead for quite some time: Cyd Charisse, Suzanne Pleshette, and Stan Winston. Yay for Bryan Cranston who should have won (at least once) for MALCOLM. Now, I'll have to watch BREAKING BAD on DVD. Yay!! More Emmys for Tina Fey! Tina Fey! Tina Fey! The set up for giving out the Best Competition Reality Show Host Emmy was a rare glimmer of genius in an otherwise lame evening. Wow! Probst won the Emmy! He is sort of the "father" of reality TV, and gave an appropriately respectful speech. Mary Tyler Moore looks great from the neck up. And, then of course, Yay!! More Emmys for Tina Fey! Tina Fey! Tina Fey! What a weird Emmys. TV is really changing when a show from AMC wins Best Drama. Now, I'll have to watch MAD MEN on DVD. All that rushing and bit-cutting and the show came in on time. Maybe that was just on the West Coast. Did the show run way over live on the East Coast? What did you think of Oprah's boobs, Tina Fey, Ricky Gervais, Josh Groan-ban?

Probst and his Daddy

Um, what the heck is going on in Jeff Probst's dressing room before the Emmys?! Actually, I don't care, I just want to see more of it!

Suck It Harder, Jesus!

Congratulations to Kathy Griffin on her second Emmy win for MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST, which is the BEST celebreality show on TV. And, we all win because she sat down with Ross Matthews (love him!) for a chat. Here's Part One of the three part interview. Please visit my buddies at Towleroad for parts two and three. I love how KG isn't afraid to show up on Ross' blog without any makeup on. She's just a regular gal... with two Emmy awards. I bought my tickets for one of her FOUR almost sold out shows in Seattle at a 3000 seat theatre. I think EVERY gay man in Seattle will be there over the 3 nights. $80+ frickin' dollars. That bitch better drop the F-bomb at least 80 times!

Kiss My Big Fat Emmy

Well, Tyra "Me! Me! Me! ME!" Bank$ won a g-ddamnned Daytime Emmy! Now we'll NEVER hear the end of it. Though very humble and dignified (for Tyra) in her acceptance speech, I just know she is going to throw this in the gaunt faces of future ANTM models: "Do you think you could win a Daytime Emmy --like I have-- with photographs like that?!" Click on the "tiny crazy tyra" pix to enlarge them and feeeel the crazy like it's in the room with you. (Shiver!) Yes, I'm watching the Daytime Emmys. It's a bad habit. I actually only care about the talk show hosts, educational kids shows, and lifetime achievement awards. Years ago, my dear friend Steve told me a few Daytime Emmy "rules."
1. Supporting Actress nominees ALWAYS cry in their clips
2. 98% of winners will thank god or jesus or some combination of the two
3. It's surprising how many soap actors and actresses have multi-decade-long careers as the same character and never win an Emmy.
It was not a good night at the Daytime Emmys for me. Rachael "I Support The Taliban" Ray (see photo) won an Emmy instead of my only recently least favorite show THE VIEW. That just ain't right. Even with Hasselcoulter, they're still better than Rachael "Sunshine Is Flying Out Of My B#tthole" Ray. Ugh! THE VIEW has been chugging along through co-host disasters for ELEVEN years. They are now the talk show equivalent of La Lucci. Regis and Kelly are also Emmy-less after many years of consecutive nominations. I love Regis Philbin, but his lifetime Emmy speech was wooden and a bit rushed. I did enjoy the clip package, though. I wish Joy had gone up on stage with him!! Oh yeah, and Ellen won again. She needs to take her name out of the running next year like Oprah, so the others can have a chance.