Vote for My Future Husband by Nov 4th!

There's a new poll on the main page of THE SECTIONAL where you can help me decide which of my future husbands to relentlessly stalk (just kidding). You can click on any of the images to view them bigger. Some of the pics are definitely worth clicking on. Lemme know what you think! Read about the candidates below and vote on the right column of the main page. Polls close 10PM on Election Day 11/4/2008.

Tyce Diorio, choreographer, SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE. He usually choreographs broadway, modern, or lyrical routines. He always seems so positive and upbeat when they show him rehearsing with the dancers. He is mad foxy, and I have and soft spot in my heart for choreographers and dancers.

Oscar Campisi, dancer, STEP IT UP AND DANCE. He is a broadway dancer who also is trained in ballet. He does a pretty mean and sexy jazz, but the judges almost never gave him any props for modern dance or hip hop. In fact, he was eliminated from the show twice! He was my favorite contestant consistently. As previously mentioned, I have a "thing" for dancers and choreographers.

Oh, Lance Bass. If you weren't dating a different guy every week, I would be SO in love with you. I respect and admire that you want to journey into space. I was also a HUGE Nsync fan. I even went to see you in concert in Tacoma, of al places. Lance, if you show up on my doorstep, get down on one knee, and propose: the answer is YES! Until then. Good luck reaching for the stars.

Tim Gunn, designer/mentor, PROJECT RUNWAY/TIM GUNN'S GUIDE TO STYLE. Mmmm, Timmmm. Tim Gunn is so damn dapper. He is so dapper it's shooting out of his as like a roman candle. That's how classy he is. Yes, he's a bit older than my usual range, but his stylishness is timeless, which almost makes him ageless. I once made out with Sir Ian McKellen in a lavatory. I'd at least like to compare Sir Ian and Tim. Is that so wrong?

Cazwell, rapper/fashionista (attached to Amanda Lepore at the hip). He is hardcore sexy. I love that he has such a sense of humor about himself. "I Buy My Socks On 14th Street" is my favorite Cazwell song. "I Seen Beyoncé at Burger King" is a close second. My fantasy is that Cazwell would keep me me hidden away in a cute Brooklyn coop with a view of the Brooklyn Bridge. He'd go out and rock the mic, and I'd stay home and make weedy banana muffins.

And, my bonus future husband is J.P. Calderone, SURVIVOR and JDMA. In fact, he now works for Janice Dickinson. He knows a good meal ticket when he sees one! He's as smart as he is gay and hot. He also MIRACULOUSLY was the ONLY person to survive 2 seasons of JDMA without looking foolish or exploited. I have NO idea how he did that! Kudos!

So be sure to vote!

Four Horsemen of The Heidipocolypse

The final four designers from PROJECT RUNWAY were on LIVE WITH ____ & KELLY this morning. Surprisingly (or not) Kenley was still a whiney, teary, spaz on Lw/_&K who feels like "everyone kinda ganged up on me." You're damn right, they did! They shared a group hug with Regis. Then when Regis asked them why they should win Korto said, [paraphrased] "Because I represent a missing or forgotten segment of women seeking fashion choices." Leanne said, [paraphrased] "Because I've worked really hard to make a name for myself in the field of renewable eco-conscious fabrics." And, Jarell said, [paraphrased] "We're all winners already because millions of people know who we are." And then he cursed on live TV. Kenley said, "Because I'm the best and my dresses sell and my hats sell too." Smooth. Tonight should be fun. My favorite part of PROJECT RUNWAY is when Tim goes "home" to visit the designers. I hope that's on tonight.

Happy Birthday #4

Happy Birthday to the always dapper Tim Gunn. My future husband number 4 is one of TV's FEW gentlemen.

Coulda Shoulda Woulda

Patty is on vacation for a bit so he asked me to blog in his stead. A huge undertaking if you ask me but Patty ain't heavy, he's my brother. So I said I'd give it a shot. Let's get started...

I'm already a little behind on my viewing. I'm in for about 4 hours of SYTYCD which I'll get to this weekend. Last night opted for Project Runway - not so sure I made the right decision. Don't get me wrong - I love me some Tim Gunn but I get a little exhausted trying to keep up with all the contestants on the beginning of most reality shows. Take me down to the Top 10 and I'm usually ok. This season of PR, in particular, is especially confusing because most of the contestants look alike, talk alike, and do the same stuff.

Jennifer & Leanne? Same people, right? Emily & Kenley could be in a 40's pin-up girl version of the Parent Trap. And Terry & Korto are like good twin/bad twin.

At the same time, who the hell came up with some of these names? Between the contestants and the models I'm not sure I'm in Kansas anymore: Suede, Blayne, Korto, Tapasio, Jermaine (for a girl), Xaviera? Huh?

Suede was the first featured contestant so you know from the get-go that he's either gonna win or lose. And if you've watched the show you know they ain't gonna let go of the bear with the faux-hawk yet. I'm excited when they announce cocktail dresses. This is something I can relate to - and cocktail dresses are pretty. Yaaaaay!

But after too much drama after the models picking the fabric, one use of "hot mess", Blayne (aka Malibu Ken) talking about leather (he should know - look at his skin) with Stella (um, did Keith Richards and Steve Perry have a love child?), a few people "stepping up their game", and Natalie Portman, I was left disappointed. I'm not even gonna talk about the use of green fabrics because no one on the show did either. It may have been cliche but I wish they had to do cocktail dresses out of hemp or organic cotton or something. I get that they wanted to show that green fabrics can be other things but er, they missed the mark.

My reaction to the runway went something like this: Ew! Boring! HOOTCHIE! WTF? Eh, pretty. Cheeze. Dumb! Ok. Great top - don't look at the bottom. Didn't I see that in season 2? Eh. Stupid! Whoa (in a bad way.) Humph! Did I miss something - are they doing skating dresses? Ug- um - ugly.

My favorite part was Nina's reaction to Korto's dress coming down the runway. Fins! Ha! I actually think she may have broken the botox in her face.

I agreed with pretty much everything the judges said. I didn't like Suede's dress at first but it was the clear winner coming down the runway because of how fun, different (in a good way) and well done it was. On further inspection it was pretty cute. Stella's dress was just plain cheezy but I will give her props for how well done it was. Gross, but well done. Korto's dress was awful - it could have been so good. Coulda shoulda woulda. Whatevs - that girl need to grow a thicker skin if she wants to stay in the competition. Tears?! Puh-leez.

I'm just relieved that Wesley was sent home. Terrible. Stupid short "garment", badly done, and well, he was just a tool anyway. Back to Suede: he's my favorite. Especially after the shout out to his mommy. Adorable.

What did you think of the show? Do you have any favorites?

Auf and Running

For those of you living under a rock or 3 days behind on your TiVo watching, PROJECT RUNWAY started up again. And, despite the "most diverse" group of contestants ever, the show was a bit of a snooze. Though I usually feel that way about the first few episodes of the season. Thank GOD for Austin Scarlet. I love him. There! I said it. He's like an ever gayer cross between Charles Nelson Reilly and Charles Nelson Reilly. I suspect he may poop Gay anti-matter that could answer questions about the universe.

The cutest guy by far is Daniel Feld. Sadly, the ONLY other cute guy is Keith Bryce and he seems a little bit like a dick. My top three dresses were 3) the oven mitt pasta dress 2) the mop top outfit and 1) I loved Daniel's dress made out of beer cups. It was very Thierry Muegler. The dresses I hated included the candy dress, the veggie dress, and Jerry American Psycho Collection for Patrick Bateman by Ralph Lauren wa the worst by a MILE! Train wreck. Bye.

I just don't understand!?

How can TIM GUNN be single?! I just saw Mr. Gunn on Ellen talking about how no one ever comes on to him. He said that the head of Bravo told him that he'd be "married" within a year of PROJECT RUNWAY's premiere, but he's still waiting over 2 years later.

He's so smooth, handsome, and debonair. NO ONE is freakin' debonair anymore. You can't BUY debonair at Barneys these days! I'm sure he's making good money for Bravo and Liz Claiborne. Good job. Good teeth. Good hair. He's a catch!

Tim Gunn, wait no longer! Just because we've never met doesn't mean that we're not perfect for each other. I pre-accept the proposal you're sure to make shortly after we meet.