American Idol FINAL TWO

Let's get ready to rumble? David Cook, 180 pounds?! Is he 5'5"? Oh Jesus, the cheese factor was OFF the charts on that opening. Big David and Little David? How are they measuring that? Don't get me wrong. I love me some paunchy Cook! This boxing metaphor is so stupid and gay. Neither Idol finalist strikes me as a boxer (or a particularly robust athlete on any level).

Ok, 14 minutes in and still no singing. Where's the singing?

Cook #1 - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - Good, but not great. He was kinda walking through it. He sounded ok, but didn't seem that into it. That song should move me, but I was unmoved. It wasn't even a very "rockin" arrangement. I still think that the judges love Cook so much because no one wants to work with Monchuleta's father if he wins.

Monchuleta #1 - Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me - Holy crap! That little monkeyperson can really sing! Based on the first song, I have to give it to Monchuleta so far. Unless he has a backstage emotional freak out, he'll totally win!

Cook #2 - Some Random Song - What's with Cook's arrangements tonight? He sounds like late 80's Pat Benatar. He did sound fantastic, but the song was so blah. I still totally wanna make out with him, though.

Monchuleta #2 - In This Moment - All I heard was, "Cheeeeeeese. Cheeeeesy!" He'll totally win.

Cook #3 - The World I Know - I'm just not feeling him tonight. I agree with Simon. I wonder if he's "throwing" it so he won't have to be the winner and can have a semi-normal career as the runner-up.

Monchuleta #3 - Imagine - Well, I think this just sealed the deal! He's totally gonna win. Even if Cook had really brought it, Monchuleta still mighta won. That's my prediction: Monchuleta by a landslide!

Reuben Studdard sounded great, but TiVo cut him off pretty early, so I guess I'll never know if I should buy his CD or not.