Sorry SECTIONAL potatoes, but the weather has been too nice here and I've been out in the yard planting and killing plants and almost spraining my ankle. I'm a regular Martha Stewart! Plus, there really hasn't been anything on TV worth talking about. Denise Richards' show is --in a single word-- horrible. No one wants to watch her be "normal." The only reason to watch is to see her wing a laptop at some old lady in a wheelchair and then make out with Näive Campbell in a swimming pool. I have 4 episodes of THE VIEW on my TiVo waiting to be watched, but I'm just not sure I can watch that f#cking show any more. It's like being slapped in the face. After the emotional high of a really good envigorating LIVE WITH _____ & KELLY, it just sucks to have to listen to Elizabitch mouth off about topic after topic which she has NO business mouthing off about. I'm looking forward to watching TPIR repeats this summer when THE VIEW is in repeats, but I just can't delete THE VIEW from my To Do queue. Maybe I should start a "Get Elizabitch Pregant Again" campaign so she'll be off the show again for a few months. BATTLESTAR GALACTICA has lost its damn mind! I hate that the pace of the episodes is so uneven. The episode two weeks ago was a rip-roaring adventure-fest of non-stop action (and --apparently-- a great deal of hyphenation), and the episode last night was a glacially paced introspective mess that put Lee Nader in "charge" of nothing as Presidentemp of the Flying Colonies and the ONLY dude with ANY sense on the whole show leaves things in the hands of a cylon and is taking a chill with a good book. Respectfully, I have to say WTF!?!?! And speaking of WTF, Oscar was invited back on and then immediately voted off of STEP IT UP & DANCE last week, so I barely care what happens now. Nick is still cute, but he's no Oscar. I think we're still stuck in the summer TV doldrums. Here's hoping the next few weeks bring some exciting TV.
Oh, P.S. - The Gayken got some 50 year old lady (yes, lady) preggers AND 50 Cent's baby mama says he tried to kill her.
Coming soon to THE SECTIONAL... what else? More crazy bitches! Name them all, and "win" a "prize." In addition to the crazy bitches below, I'll be updating you on SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE, 30 DAYS, and LIVE WITH ________ & KELLY.
Aaaaaaaugh! Despite an adorable interview with the adorable David Cook this morning on LIVE WITH REGIS & KELLY, I'm having serious AMERICAN IDOL withdrawal. What the bloody hell am I supposed to do on Tuesdays now?!
And do NOT even get me started on the fact that the extra-adorable Oscar from STEP IT UP & DANCE was voted off AGAIN by the stupid judges. If they had ONE ballet challenge, Oscar would have won and Janelle would be sitting at home on her couch. I'm inconsolable!
I have to say that I usually watch LIVE WITH REGIS & KELLY first thing when I get up in the morning so that if anyone died overnight, I'll hear it from Regis who always gives a celebrity death the proper respect it deserves. And, he usually has a heartwarming story about when he worked with said dead person in the 50's (or 60's or 70's etc.) and ends with some great line like, "We'll miss you, big guy," or something similar. Remember, YOU can always watch the opening of LIVE on the web on their web site right from your desk at work any time of the day... like right now.
...Friday: Ahhhh, the weekend was full of hope and joy and promise. I ate yummy pizza at my favorite pizza place. I was thrilled and horrified by THERE WILL BE BLOOD. Daddy issues much, Paul "Mr. Maya Rudolph" Thomas Anderson? I also thoroughly enjoyed THE SOUP. And, while I hate to be a home wrecker, I hope Joel McHale divorces his lovely wife and marries my sister by this time next year.
...Saturday: Hot. So Hot! Weather forecasters should all be fired and driven from town (see exceptions below). I'd hoped to curl up on the sofa and edit footage from the latest BUTTROCK SUITES LIVE show, but it was too sunny and I enjoyed a walk in the dog park with Buddy and Joseph. We also watched CLOVERFIELD, and while it was WAY better than I expected, I'm looking forward to the sequel where we get to see what the smart people did during the attack. Watching a bunch of dumbasses make a series of flawed decisions on their quest to save a vapid, anorexic supermodel was a little hollow. The effects were top notch. Seriously cool.
...Sunday: Mmmm, Simpsons. TV rotted my brain, and man! did I enjoy it! I feel like I'm a sailor adrift in the doldrums between the end of May sweeps and the beginning of "Summer Season." I'm giddy with anticipation for THE MOLE, SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE (which I'm watching on Monday), and AMERICA'S GOT TALENT (but no future).
The following TV weathermen are exempt from mass firing and exile based solely on their cuteness: 1. Super dreamyChris Warren 2. Adorable Ed Muir (terrible photo!) 3. Kinda Cute Robert Santos
What is it about the gays that makes them such excellent talk show hosts? Both Neil Patrick Harris (who hosted today, pictured to the left with Kelly) and Anderson Cooper (who's a habitual co-hoster) are exceptional co-hosts on LIVE WITH ______ AND KELLY. Whenever they co-host the show it soars. Regis can still host the show in his sleep (thank goodness) and there is no one like Regis, BUT the show takes on an entirely new character when the super gays co-host with Kelly. Kelly is a super fag hag of epic proportions. I get the feeling there's nothing she wouldn't do for the gays. Today, Neil Patrick Harris was hilarious during the host chat. He just kept knocking these witty remarks out of the park. Then once the interviews started, NPH even made Alan Alda seem vaguely interesting. In my mind, NPH made out a little with Jesse McCartney backstage right before he went on, and it was OK with both or their BFs. Anyway, Kelly then took a tour of "the best of" Off Broadway which was fascinating. She did cartwheels at NAKED BOYS SINGING and danced on a wire in a harness against a ginormous mylar scrim in FUERZA BRUTA. I have to find out more about FUERZA BRUTA. It looks incredible! THEN, as if that weren't enough LIVE for a Friday NPH and Kelly went outside (which I love!) to grill with mega-hunk Cameron Matheson. I'd love to taste Cameron Matheson's grilled swordfish. Hot on so many levels. I didn't want the show to end, but then it did. Ugh, now I have to watch THE VIEW.
That's what millions of Americans heard last night after waiting (and wading) through the interminable commercial that was the AMERICAN IDOL season finale. TiVo and Fox did it again by cutting off the announcement of the winner of IDOL just as Ryan was finally getting around to saying it. My sister was apoplectic --and who can blame her?! After 90 bajillion votes, I wonder how many millions of TiVo viewers missed the announcement. Let your voices be heard! Let Fox and TiVo what you think of them (by posting it in the comments of my blog)!
Anyway, for those of you who didn't waste your evening on 2 hours of Fox-grade crap, here's a wrap up.
The opening was once again WAY over the top. This is the end of IDOL not a boxing match, not a drag race, not the Olympics. Take the competition down a notch, people. Ryan looked to be wearing at least one set of false eyelashes on his top lids.
Once again, the choreography of the group numbers was AWFUL. You could see them counting in their heads. A few really stuck out as clods with 2 left feet. Amanda Overmyer and Monchuleta, I'm talking to you. Also, throughout the evening, the song arrangements were dreadful! They were either too fast, too slow, or so cheesy it made me feel dirty to hear them.
The David & David duet was missing one thing: a kiss at the end (or in the middle for that matter).
We ALL needed a five minute LOVE GURU commerical while were waiting for the Syesha/Seal duet. As soon as Seal came out they turned down Syesha's mic. I wonder if that's in Seal's contract.
Jason Castro "sang."
Ryan played Oprah by giving David & David each a Ford. Whichever David wins will be trading that Ford in for his first Porsche.
Then they made all the women dress up like whores and sing a few songs about whores while they were all counting in their heads probably thinking what whores they all are. Then when born again Donna Summer (Ryan introduced her as Donna SummerS. What an ass!) came out whore time was over and it was time to be vaguely inspirational while barely moving. Fun times! It was hilarious when Donna Summer realized how inferior Syesha's mic was, she handed her hers. What a pro. She's not bad for a born again Christian.
Carly Smithson and Michael Johns really seemed like two guests on the Glenn Campbell show from the 70's. I wanted to like them, but the Muppet Show-like arrangement was distracting.
Jimmy Kimmel was hilarious and right on! How odd that IDOL would actually make fun of itself right in the middle of the show. How meta. My favorite joke was when Jimmy said to Simon, "I wonder what your parents, Rosemary and Satan Cowell think of your success."
The "boys medley" was appropriately Chippendales-esque. Though, once again, it was tough to watch the guys clomp around the stage. And just when you think, "Gosh, I hope Bryan Adams isn't alive to see this," Bryan Adams appears to prove that Restilin really does work! He still looks like he just got out of a halfway house or a work-release program, but god bless him.
Then we were treated to a Jordan "Ugly Betty" Suarez commercial for the American Idol "Experience" at Disney World. Yikes!
One of the few things I liked about the show was the Cook and ZZ Top number. Cook rocked and ZZ Top looked into it --in as much as they ever look like they are into anything. With that in mind, how do we know those guys actually were ZZ Top? Couldn't they be like The Blue Man Group where they're not the same 3 blue guys but different ones all play the same characters? And if they aren't, shouldn't they be (and can I get a cut of that action)?
Brooke White appeared in a flashback I had about A MIGHTY WIND, and when I woke up David Cook was dancing around in his (alleged) underpants. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.
Oh Christ! And then The Jonas Brothers showed up to make Jason Castro feel better about his singing and performing ability. At least none of them fell off the stage while they were squeaking their "music" to the spasmodic tween audience. I HATE those guys. In fact, I fast forwarded through a LOT of the show.
Then Jordan "Ugly Betty" Suarez came back and galloped across the stage in a gold lamé tent and people were all thinking, "Who is that?!" And, I was thinking, "Where the hell is Blake Lewis?!" He was in the audience... fully dressed. Lame.
For no apparent reason, IDOL then did something actually funny! They matched a clip of Gladys Knight and made The Pips Robert Downey Jr., Ben Stiller , and Jack Black. It was hilariously strange!! Robert Downey Jr. singing and dancing is foxy!
Then Carrie Underwood came out and showed what a god dammned American Idol is supposed to be like! She tore the stage UP, and she looked like a million bucks! Ashley Tisdale sighting!!
I was only mildly upset by the NAMBLA commercial with Monchuleta jumping around in his pajamas.
I was very upset my the massacre of the George Michael song book until Mrs. Michael herself came out and turned in a diva performance worthy of Annie Lennox earlier in the season. Even though she looks like Borat, Mrs. Michael has still got it.
And then... the LIVE results,
but first...
and then...
oh who cares!
Ok, I care! I was happy with the results. Chunky won over cheesy! I even set my TiVo for TWO MINUTES over, and it still cut off before the end of the show.
Let's get ready to rumble? David Cook, 180 pounds?! Is he 5'5"? Oh Jesus, the cheese factor was OFF the charts on that opening. Big David and Little David? How are they measuring that? Don't get me wrong. I love me some paunchy Cook! This boxing metaphor is so stupid and gay. Neither Idol finalist strikes me as a boxer (or a particularly robust athlete on any level). Ok, 14 minutes in and still no singing. Where's the singing?
Cook #1 - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - Good, but not great. He was kinda walking through it. He sounded ok, but didn't seem that into it. That song should move me, but I was unmoved. It wasn't even a very "rockin" arrangement. I still think that the judges love Cook so much because no one wants to work with Monchuleta's father if he wins.
Monchuleta #1 - Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me - Holy crap! That little monkeyperson can really sing! Based on the first song, I have to give it to Monchuleta so far. Unless he has a backstage emotional freak out, he'll totally win!
Cook #2 - Some Random Song - What's with Cook's arrangements tonight? He sounds like late 80's Pat Benatar. He did sound fantastic, but the song was so blah. I still totally wanna make out with him, though.
Monchuleta #2 - In This Moment - All I heard was, "Cheeeeeeese. Cheeeeesy!" He'll totally win.
Cook #3 - The World I Know - I'm just not feeling him tonight. I agree with Simon. I wonder if he's "throwing" it so he won't have to be the winner and can have a semi-normal career as the runner-up.
Monchuleta #3 - Imagine - Well, I think this just sealed the deal! He's totally gonna win. Even if Cook had really brought it, Monchuleta still mighta won. That's my prediction: Monchuleta by a landslide!
Reuben Studdard sounded great, but TiVo cut him off pretty early, so I guess I'll never know if I should buy his CD or not.
Hey, Bitches! I'm having a contest and ANYONE* can enter. All you have to do is post a comment on THE SECTIONAL between right now and May 31(ish), and you'll automatically be entered to win a chance to post on THE SECTIONAL as guest editor for a day. Write about what you are watching or what you are wearing while you are watching shows about what other people are wearing. Be pretty, witty, and gay (even if you aren't!) because I want those comments to "sparkle," people! Plug your favorite restaurant or live show. Blab about your best bar or your wildest hobby. Watch your potty-mouth and no slander or libel for Christ's sake. (*You have to have a Blogspot or Google login to post on THE SECTIONAL, FYI y gracias.) The fine print: I pick the winner and select the date and time the post(s) appear. Elizabeth Hasselbeck is NOT eligible! Otherwise, go nuts!
I'm done! Joy AND Whoopi tried their BEST today to shout down Elizabitch Hasselcoulter, and she is just unstoppable. That was just the first 15 minutes! I quit. Good luck with THE VIEW, "ladies."
Last Monday I said good-bye to SAMANTHA WHO? We had a rocky relationship. I hate people who are chronically tardy, and Samantha always started at 9:02 or 9:32. For awhile Samantha, a smart tough single woman, was aired opposite Old Christine on CBS who was also a smart tough single woman. So I had to choose between them. Because they were two of the smartest shows about smart tough single women, I often felt regret regardless of my decision. There's another example of TV making me feel crappy instead of happy.
Last Tuesday's AMERICAN IDOL was a big, stinky pile of garbage. Each of the remaining Idols rushed through 3 songs and skittered across the stage at Ryan's beck and call. I guess they didn't have time for rehearsal this week. Maybe they were wrestling Mr. Archuleta to the floor backstage. Each Idol pulled off one of their three songs, but stumbled badly on at least one song. On Wednesday, I was pleased by the results of the results show.
Also on Wednesday, I enjoyed me some ULTIMATE FIGHTER.
On Thursday, THE OFFICE season finale made me pee myself and also wet my face with something called tears. Squish squish.
I've been so busy that I haven't even watched BATTLESTAR GALACTICA yet. Shhh! Don't tell me anything about it!
Clearly, the writers were saving all the good jokes for the season finale. Stay tuned for my dissection and/or deconstruction of SNL's off-the-hook season finale.
Oscar is BACK, bitches! Perhaps you will remember that I was inconsolable after my sweet luscious Oscar (top photo) was wrongly sent home early from STEP IT UP & DANCE during Broadway week. You may also remember that Oscar has appeared in a couple of (big name) Broadway shows. This week, the show offered an opportunity for ONE eliminated contestant to return to the show. Oscar and the adorable Mochi made a GREAT team in a salsa number. Oscar served up some Italian/Latin sabor and returned to the show with the same grace and good-sportsmanship that he left with. In other news, permanent-disaster Jessica also returned to the show to compete for the "return" spot, but she mysteriously and suddenly got an "ear inflamation" which gave her another excuse to bail on the show leaving her toxicly gay partner Miguel in the lurch again. He tried to partner with (the adorable) Mochi but dropped her on the floor hard. Not cool. He's pictured in the "bottom" picture in his best Gloria Gaynor circa 1978 outfit.
Do not forget later today to check out Hunk du Jour's weekly wrap-up of THE PRICE IS RIGHT hotties! If you missed last week's TPIR hunks, you're a FOOL! :-) #7 and #8 can be my boyfriends if they want... right NOW!
It must be time for The Widow Cobain to send Frances Bean to college because you can now buy the "Kurt Cobain Signature Converse." I'm ordering the pair with the powder burns and blood stains patterns. TACKY, even for Courtney Love!
Due to forces beyond my control, THE SECTIONAL blog is on hiatus until this Sunday. On Sunday, I will make up for lost time, so please be sure to join me back on the sectional sofa Monday for a week-in-tv wrap-up.
Until then, please enjoy and comment on my previous crazy musings and rants.
I forgot to blog about this SNL sketch because SO MANY of the sketches were so funny this past Saturday. MATCH GAME is my favorite show on TV ever in the history of TV. The SNL sketch, "It's A Match" truly captured the off-kilter hilarity of MATCH GAME.
It took me a week to watch it, but the OPRAH show with Cher and Tina Turner was a gay historic moment. Both Cher and Tina look great. They talked about their 40 year friendship like they were just chatting over coffee. With great old clips like the one below, and real behind-the-scenes stories, it was an exciting hour of TV!
SURVIVOR, you almost lost me at the beginning of the season with your ultra-violent gladiatorial showdowns and selection of "spoiler" contestants who had NO business being outside of a mall or a bar. Towards the end of the season, the string of blindsides and double-crosses really made the show a nail-biter right down to the final vote. Last season, the players all seemed able separate the game from personal squabbles. Like good sports they congratulated the winners and didn't use the final tribal council to publicly air every dirty secret the cameras didn't catch. But, then at the final tribal council on Sunday --unlike last season-- the contestants (especially Ozzy) really put some stuff out here and stirred the pot before the final vote. Sadly, I couldn't support either finalist, so I really didn't care after Cerie got voted out. She was my favorite to win.
Erik Reichenbach won the title of Dumbest Survivor Ever on this week's penultimate episode. I never advocate the loss of hotness from a reality show, but Erik deserved to go home. He got played like a cheap fiddle at a hill-people family reunion! The remaining 4 women actually "talked" him out of his immunity necklace. It was shameful. This season of SURVIVOR started out pretty lame, but it's picked up steam here at the end. Finale THIS Sunday 8pm to 11pm on CBS.
Choreographers across the country were cringing at the god-awful opening number on AMERICAN IDOL tonight. It physically hurt me to watch the final four count time as they marched across the stage like Kraftwerk only with NO irony or Germaness. They were somewhat sychronized, but please don't call what they did dancing. Ugh! Painful.
The first 60 seconds of the "trip to Vegas" infomercial for The Beatles and Cirque de Soleil paid for what Heather Mills got in her divorce settlement, and the rest paid for Paul's wet lawyer (and her dry cleaning bill). Did McCartney and Nigel Lithgow go out drinking one night and start a bromance? [shudder.] All you need is cash. No! Wait, love! All you need is love. No, wait! Cash!
Bo Bice reminded me of Ian Astbury from The Cult (in a good way). I loved his gravely voice and gravely look. Doesn't he know ladies with cancer need wigs? He's so ALMOST sexy. He has very pretty and luxurious eyelashes. The only thing missing from his performance was riding in on a motorcycle (or a horse).
I watched this "show" in about 15 minutes thanks to my trusty TiVo. Thanks, TiVo!
Spoiler alert!
Yay! Hooray! Finally! My co-least favorite Idol is GONE! And, he went out with a whine. "Whiney whine whine I'm not very good blah blah yadda I'm lame". And, like Brooke White, my other co-least favorite Idol, Jesus Castro went out on a train wreck performance with no brakes. Luckily, the show ran over and Jesus was cut off by the 10 o'clock news. Ok, "dreads" you're off the hook. You can go back to playing hackey-sack in the parking lot at shows, and playing guitar with your shirt off on the beach. The ladies dig that, dude.
America, here are your judges. Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul, and Simon Cowell. Without them... ...the show would only be 30 minutes.
David Cook - Hungry Like The Wolf - I did not dig this performance. He really seemed like he was phoning it in or kinda strutting around stage soaking in the adoration. Whichever, I was not digging his vibe. And, I hate to say that this was my least favorite of his performances.
Baba O'Reilly - MUCH better than the first song, but still not up to his full tilt potential. This is a baaaad time to take it safe and easy.
Syesha - Proud Mary - She is bringin' it! Watch out for Syesha. I think she really nailed a song that could have gone off the rails at ANY second. Her energy came through, and I was singing along like a damn fool. My poor dog's ears. She even nailed some of the Tina choreography. Brilliant!
A Change Is Gonna Come - Randy is HIGH. That was THE BOMB. BEST performance of the night. A truly diva-worthy performance. Both her songs tonight were fantastic. She is really kicking ass here at the end of the show.
Jason Castro - I Shot The Sheriff - Every week --from the first note-- all I can think of is NO NO NO NO NO! In the name of all that is holy and good in the world, what in the hell is this cartoon character doing?! This song was 100% cruise ship, and NOT the good lounge. AWFUL!
Mr. Tambourine Man - Holy Freakin Christmas! What a Brooke White-sized TRAINWRECK! It actually HURT my ears and my brain and my soul. Get this jester goofball weirdo out of my TV!
Monchuleta - Stand By Me - Awwwwwww! I mean, Aaaaaaaugh!! With pandering in the news so much these days, here's an excellent example of pandering to show the kids.
Love Me Tender - Awwwwww! I mean, Aaaaaaugh!! What does a 12 year old boy know about loving someone tender(ly). It probably didn't even matter that his voice wasn't even that strong tonight. I agree with Simon, that Monchuleta's two songs made millions of girls pick up the phone.
The Simpson's are to blame for the title of this post. I believe it was Reverend Lovejoy who suspected that the organist's sheet music had been switched with "rock and/or roll" or something like that. Credit where credit is due. Send Jason Castro HOME!
Yesterday PBS. Today PBR. I don't know why I love this story, but I do. It's dark yet light. Touching yet weird. Gruesome yet thirst inducing.
I love that he wants to use it as a cooler until he needs it for... well, you know. I still want to be buried so I can come back as a zombie should the opportunity ever arise.
Dictator Bush is at it again. He's recommending for the 7th or 8th year in a row that Congress cut the PBS budget. This time, he wants to shave HALF of the budget away from public TV, which would essentially kill the ONLY non-commercial television network in the country. Because I work for PBS, I don't usually blog about them due to a conflict of interest. But, I have to stand up for PBS as an institution. Eric Boehlert, senior fellow at Media Matters, a nonprofit media watchdog group says, “PBS is a success story for the government, ranking up there with the national parks. Any cuts would hurt the millions of people who can’t or won’t pay for cable.” Parade.com asks in an online poll should tax dollars support PBS? You may get more traction by contacting your local Congress people or Senators. Tell them that because ALL other TV is OWNED by major, giant corporations you support the full funding of PBS. Your daily news and programming (including content) is heavily influenced by sponsors and parent companies. Only PBS can stand alone to present an opinion that isn't influenced by GE stock price, Disney's "family" image, the whim's of Fox's right-wing nut-job billionare owner, and Sumner Redstone's personal views on gays. If you allow PBS to die, the LAST hope for an unbiased media will die with it. Nothing on the History Channel can compare to THE WAR or CARRIER. Nothing on the Science Channel, Discovery, TLC, or Animal Planet can compare to NATURE and NOVA. PBS is also a LEADER in documentary film and television. PBS has always pioneered the use of the web to expand the reach of broadcast TV. PBS only costs $400 million (MILLION with an M!) a YEAR. The Iraq quagmire costs about $400 million per DAY! Maybe we could just take ONE day off of the stupid, pointless, lie of a war and use that money to fund the nation's ONLY independent voice. Please do take a moment to contact your legislators to let them know that you value a truly free press and you support the use of your tax dollars to fund art, science, and education for our children and other citizens rather than war and death to kill off another 4000 young Americans so we can't find Osam Bin Laden and we can't find any WMDs (because they never existed in the first place, Colin Powell) .
Once again a reality show has lost its damn mind and sent home a hottie early. My biggest problem with STEP IT UP & DANCE --the Bravo dance/reality show starring the first person everyone thinks of when they think of stripping, I mean dancing, Elizabeth Berkeley-- was always that it started off with 3 or 4 shows featuring the outer fringes of dance which sent a few of the stronger dancers home in favor of people with dance training whose super-charged reality-show persona's pushed them past elimination for a week too many. Then, they finally get around to doing straight-forward (ha ha) Broadway musical theatre, which was Oscar's forté. He's done a number of Broadway shows, so clearly he's "good enough" for Broadway. And, at least 3 of the remaining contestants would have been literally laughed out of a Broadway audition --laughed at by everyone. And, yet, Oscar was sent packing for reasons I still don't understand. He was "peessed" (see photo right) to be put in the elimination group in the first place and rightfully so! Then, he clearly wiped the floor with Michael in BOTH performances (Michael was SO bad the first time, they had to do their number again) and he got sent home. Oh, sweet beautiful Oscar! I'll miss your aDORable accent, and your elegance. You've got so much poise it's flying out of your ass. You were robbed! I hope you enjoy a long and successful career. Stay cute!
As previously mentioned, my patience with Elizabitch Hasselcoulter on THE VIEW is running short. I just can't take another week of her robotic Republican screeching. Currently, she's sharing her hateful rhetoric between two Democratic primary candidates, but once a Democratic candidate is selected, her full freaked out focus will be to daily BASH the candidate. I don't need to witness that, especially when THE PRICE IS RIGHT has so much to offer in the same timeslot. Also-Seattle-based blog Hunk du Jour offers you a handy weekly wrap-up of all the hotties on TPIR. Super huge thanks to Chris at HduJ for allowing me to use the images on this post to illustrate my point. Credit for the images goes to to CBS & the very talented Brandon from Hunk du Jour. Why am I watching a table full of old women fight with one juvenile, naive Republican rabble-rouser when I could be watching frat boys win spice racks!? Stay tuned on Monday to see if I can stay away...
BITCHCON ZERO! BITCHCON ZERO! Something was blessedly absent from THE VIEW today, Elizabitch Hasellcoulter's big fat mouth! They claimed her excuse was a "sick kid" which everyone knows means 3 day weekend. Or, maybe she got taken out to the woodshed for her unconscionable behavior over the past few weeks. Whatever the reason, I thoroughly enjoyed the back and forth during hot topics this morning. It was great to hear from Whoopi (for a change). She was serious and funny and got a chance to bounce ideas off all 3 other women on the panel. They all even made fun of Elizabeth while they were talking about how gas prices and the federal debt had doubled under Dictator Bush's reign. Why can't every day be like this?!
Sorry SECTIONAL potatoes, but the weather has been too nice here and I've been out in the yard planting and killing plants and almost spraining my ankle. I'm a regular Martha Stewart! Plus, there really hasn't been anything on TV worth talking about. Denise Richards' show is --in a single word-- horrible. No one wants to watch her be "normal." The only reason to watch is to see her wing a laptop at some old lady in a wheelchair and then make out with Näive Campbell in a swimming pool. I have 4 episodes of THE VIEW on my TiVo waiting to be watched, but I'm just not sure I can watch that f#cking show any more. It's like being slapped in the face. After the emotional high of a really good envigorating LIVE WITH _____ & KELLY, it just sucks to have to listen to Elizabitch mouth off about topic after topic which she has NO business mouthing off about. I'm looking forward to watching TPIR repeats this summer when THE VIEW is in repeats, but I just can't delete THE VIEW from my To Do queue. Maybe I should start a "Get Elizabitch Pregant Again" campaign so she'll be off the show again for a few months. BATTLESTAR GALACTICA has lost its damn mind! I hate that the pace of the episodes is so uneven. The episode two weeks ago was a rip-roaring adventure-fest of non-stop action (and --apparently-- a great deal of hyphenation), and the episode last night was a glacially paced introspective mess that put Lee Nader in "charge" of nothing as Presidentemp of the Flying Colonies and the ONLY dude with ANY sense on the whole show leaves things in the hands of a cylon and is taking a chill with a good book. Respectfully, I have to say WTF!?!?! And speaking of WTF, Oscar was invited back on and then immediately voted off of STEP IT UP & DANCE last week, so I barely care what happens now. Nick is still cute, but he's no Oscar. I think we're still stuck in the summer TV doldrums. Here's hoping the next few weeks bring some exciting TV.
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