Sunday, March 23, 2008

Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Gauntlet III













MTV's violent, evil, nasty,
back-stabbing RW/RRC:TG3 would be the 00's version of the 50's "Quiz Show Scandal" if it had any credibility to squander. Sadly, it's yet another example of reality shows that have just gone completely off the rails lately. Though, you can see one of the reasons I like to watch the show pictured to the left: hot boys and LOTS of them.
Most reality shows are -- at the their (soulless) core -- game shows. Contestants compete for prizes or one BIG prize often over a period of multiple weeks. The construct of the game is protected and supported by its rules. Games are only fun if the rules are challenging but strictly enforced in the spirit of fairness and good sportsmanship. When the rules of a game are fluid and selectively enforced the game becomes boring and/or pointless. It's a giant, messy crap-shoot/free-for-all. And, speaking of giant, messy free-for-alls, RW/RRC:TG3 jumped the shark this season by tossing the rule book out the window and injecting even more opportunities for mayhem into its alcohol-fueled permanent spring break. In the second photo, 150 pound Zack is tied to a chair while drunken 200+ pound steroid fueled muscle hunks shave his long curly locks.
But, in this "Bushed" world where nothing is fair or truthful any more and the sneaky are rewarded, why shouldn't gameshows reflect this? Perhaps the betrayal felt by the American public in the 50's over that decade's sneaky, behind the scenes dealings will be felt by today's society when we realize that we are the ones betraying ourselves now. AMERICAN EXPERIENCE on PBS has an excellent show about the Quiz Show Scandals.
For those of you blissfully unaware of the RW/RR challenge, I'll give you a quick Wikipedia snippet, "a reality television series on MTV, that spun off from that network's two flagship reality shows, The Real World and Road Rules. The Challenge puts cast members from past seasons of the two shows against each other, usually dividing them into two separate teams according to different criteria, such as by gender, which of the two shows they first appeared on, etc. The two teams must complete challenges in order to win prizes and advance in the game. Recent seasons have taken a cue from other reality shows by adopting the system of eliminating contestants based on performance, or having a team vote a member into an elimination round, in which they must compete against a member from the other team to determine which one goes home."
Last season, perenial loose-cannon mega-hottie, CT, went home on the very first show after sucker punching gay teammate, Davis, in the face and bloodying his nose for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Apparently, he just wanted to punch someone in the face. The photo to the right is from RW/RRC:TG3 and shows one of the many times CT got drunk and preternaturally obnoxious this season. It's fascinating to watch someone barely evolved beyond an ape wrestle with the overwhelming urge to hit someone at the risk of potentially losing $50,000. He want sto hit the guy sooooo bad, but the dollar signs in his eyes just won't let the punch fly.
Every season they change the rules to try to stay one step ahead of the crafty "veteran players" who seem to be on this show as their sole career. Many of them sob as they head to the airport to head home early, "I don't know what I'm going to do for money now!" Um, maybe a job? I should talk!
This season's weirdest situation was that it was often beneficial to "throw" challenges to "sculpt" the team and trim the fat making for more boring TV while teams sloppily threw challenges to vote out their weak team mates. Once at the "gauntlet" elimination round, the wheel they spun to determine which game would be played repeatedly (I mean, like every week) landed on "Ball Brawl" a knock-down, bruise-fest which is all physical strength and provided for some spectacular face plants and take-downs. The other game that the wheel chose over and over and over and over was "Sliders," a mostly-mental puzzle game which could be manipulated by getting someone good at the puzzle game to help you from the sidelines. Often players would get help from a team mate on the opposing team as an f-you to their team or to help a showmance along.
The final crowning "glory" of disgusting poor taste was the season finale "storyline" of Erik -- Big Easy. Erik weighs at least 320 pounds and did nothing but eat and drink and lay around all season. He's SO much bigger than ANY of the other guys that he'd be assured of a victory in the gauntlet thus securing his space through fear of sending a strong teammate home. The Veterans team was doomed to lose as soon as Erik signed up for the show. The final challenge, a grueling footrace through obstacles almost killed Erik. For days he boasted, "I won't quit." And, "Medics will have to drag me off this course." Well, Jesus Christ! Erik practically sank to the bottom of the ocean during the first leg of the race, a swim to shore. Once he FINALLY made it to shore, the whole team was chained together and had to run for like 3 miles. About 1/2 a mile in, Erik is NOT looking good. He's staggering and sweating like Li'l Kim in church! Soon they are dragging him along as he stumbles, pale as a ghost, his legs giving out. Soon he's lying on the ground having minor convulsions, and his team mates are crying and shrieking, "That fat f*ck just cost us $300,000!"
The "rules" clearly state that the whole team must cross the finish line. But, as Erik's condition worsens, the medics are called in and he's is taken away on a stretcher. The team -- now 300 pounds lighter -- sprints to the finish through a few more really exhausting challenges pulling ahead o the other team who has been lollygagging around like they're at a Sunday picnic not racing for $50,000 each. Erik's team wins, only to be told that since they didn't drag Erik's prone, convulsing body to the finish line, they lose.
It sends a very disturbing message that after weeks of scheming and deceit, destroyed friendships, bruises, and liver damage it all comes down to an odd technicality in the final few minutes of a 20+ hour show. Erik is
in many ways, this decade's Charles Van Doren, a sleeper-cell agent sent in by the producers to torpedo the game in the final minutes.

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