The Gayest Night of TV on TV

I enjoyed the trifecta of gay TV tonight: ANTM, PROJECT RUNWAY, and TOP DESIGN. None of the shows is particularly outstanding on its own. Though, ANTM is really AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MONSTER. Tyra is insane. What the HELL was she wearing at panel?! Even compared to Miss Jay, Tyra is out o' her mind. At only 23 minutes into the show, they sent one of the modelettes home early because her runway walk was so hideous. Granted, the girls were blindfolded. But still, her walk was atrocious. In other news, the fashions on ANTM were 700 billion times better than 94% of the fashions on this season's PROJECT RUNWAY. The Jeremy Scott outfits (pictured left) were wicked FIERCE! Then, the winners of the runway challenge did a mini-photoshoot for some 15! year-old designer chick from Russia. It was an action-packed, if unremarkable episode. I agreed with the first girl sent home, but I definitely did not agree with the second girl sent home. Bravo Bravo for back to back Gay-O-Vision. On PROJECT RUNWAY, Suede was so afraid Suede was going home that he actually slipped and talked about himself in the 1st person. PR started out by showing how expendable models are by kicking 3 of them off the show by letting the designers pick and steal each others' models. Then they didn't even use the models they picked! Then the producers (or whoever the hell is "running" this show) threw the entire chessboard into the air and just randomly tossed stuff together into another pointless unfocused mess of a challenge/episode which had very little to do with modern fashion. Kenley has torn a page out of Tyra's Irrational Crazy Bitch Handbook by acting like she actually knows what "hip hop" is and arguing with Tim Gunn about it. AND, on top of that she actually said that she knows more about hip hop fashion than Tim Gunn. This was a messy episode on so many levels. The runway show was HILARIOUS! Korto, who I love, looked like a pissed off extra from SORDID LIVES. Kenley looked hot on the runway and very pop. Leanne looked like Mary Kate after a ROUGH night. I could "kinda" see the Mary J Blige vibe that Kenley was going for, but the outfit was a wreck. (Leanne didn't help her, but I don't blame her.) Suede rocked the first outfit of Korto's I didn't love. Unfortunately he was styled to look exactly like Alison Moyet circa 1982. Jarell looked hot too, but not over-the-top enough. He was about as rock-n-roll as Leanne was hip hop. The cruelest part was having to get eliminated while wearing a costume on national TV. PR this season has turned into the Kenley Kenley Kenly! hour, and she's not gay, she's gay. TOP DESIGN is a complete clone of PR. The budget, however is over-the-top. The PR designers get $250 to make a $1500 gown and the TD designers get $10,000 to redo a bachelor pad. $999 massage recliner and $9000 flat screen TV. $1 can opener. Done. In addition to the $10K, they get a team of painters, wallpaper hangers, and a seamstress. Daaaamn! These pads better look swank! There were three teams. Once again, there were two "easy" clients, and one impossible client. I wonder who will be going home. One team's self-described theme was: Asian Kanye West; another's was Panty-dropping Chic; and, the final team's theme was Boring and Stupid. To make matters worse, they were the team who bickered throughout the entire episode. Luckily, my favorite hottie designer, Nathan, gained immunity from elimination and despite his team's self-imolation he was spared. Yay. Whew, that was a tiring three hours of high-octane gayness.