Monday, December 15, 2008

I'm With Stupid: Survivor Finale

And, while we're talking about stupid, SURVIVOR had its 50bajillionth 3 hour season finale last night on CBS. I won't say who won in case you're behind on your TiVo, but I will say that this was the stupidest season of SURVIVOR ever (ever ever). It was almost as bad as the RW/RR CHALLENGE. The casting department at SURVIVOR found at least 10 people who were voted by EVERYONE who knew them as "the last person you'd like to be stuck on a desert island (or in Gabon Africa) with for 39 days." Only 2 people know Randy, but they both immediateley said, "Randy" without hesitation." Corrinne knows 1000 people and they all texted back, "Corrinne" when asked. Corrinne is a MONSTER. She is Tyra Banks without a filter. And, poor "Sugar" (just another Jennifer). Her "story" this season was a sad one. Her father died recently, and she was still processing the grief when she was thrust into the emotionally torturous game of SURVIVOR. It's impossible for me to imagine what it would be like to have strangers questioning if your father's recent passing after a bout with lung cancer is just a ploy you're using in the game. Every player who got voted out pretty much shot themself in the ass, and then was surprisingly bitter about it. It was the season where everyone who flew under the radar made it to the end because all the "skillful/crazy" players took each other out. Everyone on the show was a walking mess in one way or another. Bob and Sugar had some game, but it was nothing like Matty or the Cutie Twins: Marcus and Charlie. Though, they all burned themselves out. M&C had too strong of an alliance too early thanks to Charlie's swooning and Marcus' nuzzling (innocently, I'm sure) in return. Charlie even took the low road and questioned Bob's sexuality at the finale based on some "cuddling" that Charlie alleged against Bob in the hut! Shudder. And they said Sugar had daddy issues!! Gaaaaaahd, I haaaate the SURVIVOR season finales. THREE hours, Les Moonves, really?!? At least you haven't figured out a way to shoehorn Julie Chen-Moonves into the 3 hour extravaganzzzzzzz. The BAND! Holy Jesus! Every season the live band gets worse and worse. They're like a baaaad wedding band. Demand a refund, CBS. Ugh, well. I still love the series overall. SURVIVOR manages to edit together a dramatic arc in every crazy episode, and they've managed to "mix up" the game without going toooo far outside of the lines (like some shows that just throw all the rules out the window [RW/RR CHALLENGE!]). As Probst said, "In the new year..." SURVIVOR will travel to Brazil for SURVIVOR: TOCANTINS. I'll be there. For those of you who just can't get enough SURVIVOR, there is an entire online "behind the scenes" look at life on the jury while waiting for the game to play out. Cutie "lovebirds" Marcus and Charlie start the webisodes. Here's my favorite:

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