BS Galactica

Dear Sci-Fi Channel and BS Galactica Producers,
I want the hours and hours and hours I've wasted watching the final 1/2 of the final season of BATTLESTAR GALACTICRAP. What in the fracking hell are you people trying to pull. You had a wealth of story lines to follow, and all it seems like you've been doing is chasing ghosts and red herrings. I almost don't want to watch the "final episode." I'm scared what kind of crap you're going to pull for the first 115 minutes of the show before ending the entire series on a mysterious enigmatic infuriating note. You've done to your series what the Cylons did to Earth. Frack you!

B.S. Galactica: The "My Dinner With Andre" Episode

Last night on B.S. GALACTICA, the stupidest most asinine show on television this "season," Wallace Shawn and Andre Gregory (pictured left) chatted it up for an entire hour. For a "sci-fi" show, there is a LOT more "fi" than "sci" so far this season. With the rich storyline gold of finding Earth (in ruins no less!), somehow this season has drifted off into space fulfilling Seth Green's prophecy on ROBOT CHICKEN that the identities of the Cylons is simply pulled out of a hat by the producers. Last night's episode which was 99.999% exposition delivered by the weakest actors on the show revealed a LOT of stuff. Starting with... Ellen?! Really?! Sheesh! And now there's ANOTHER Cylon we didn't know about? Is this NBC or FOX? Wait, there's one more surprise! The fracking ship itself, the USS Battlestar Galactica, is now going to become part Cyclon. If I hadn't invested seven years of my life watching 3.75 seasons of this show, I'd just stop right now. I would have stopped 2 minutes into Starbuck's husband's (ex-husband's) visions. Christ on a cracker, anyone on this show who "has a vision" is suddenly the frackin' savior of the species-es. And, are there two species-es of Cylon? Or 1 or 3 or 8? No one knows! I'm SO sad to have to witness the destruction of a once-great TV show in its final 10 episodes. I hope Adama and Ellen blow each other to smithereens. Neither "race" deserves to live after last night's episode!

Best Of The Sectional

Thanks again if you are reading this right now. Based on our calculations here at The Sectional Labs, LLC the following posts are THE BEST based on a few different criteria. We love Kristin Wiig and Joel McHale. We love SNL and PROJECT RUNWAY. We do not care for THE VIEW nor do we consider Dr. Phil an actual doctor (of anything). Let me know if any of the links don't link. I had to hand-code most of this post. Gah!

MOST VIEWS
#1. /2008/03/live-from-new-york-its-kristin-wiig.html
Kristin Wiig always gets a TON of hits. Obviously, not enough people are blogging about the Wiig's brilliance!
#2. /2008/12/snl-no-mo-po.html
Another huge hit for an SNL post. SNL really reaped a windfall from John McCain's selection of Tiny Fey as his running mate.
#3. /2008/04/anderson-cooper-penis-bump.html
I can NOT believe this clip hasn't been removed yet. It is a frequent favorite among Sectional readers. Everyday I keep expecting Super Duper Anderson Cooper to sue my ass. (Yes, I said "sue" not "do."
#4. /2008/03/very-live-with-regis-and-ke-joy-philbin.html
Not enough folks are blogging about what a great show LIVE is. And Joy Philbin deserves her own blog.
#5. /2008/03/picture-this-oops-you-cant.html
I'm always surprised when people who are on TV shows have absolutely NO other imprint on the Internet. I don't have a TV show (well, I did) and you can Google 2 pages worth of crap on me. Ben Turner is one of the stars of a popular show, but good luck finding out ANY info about him on the web.
#6. /2008/04/roslin-adama-08.html
At the height of the 2008 U.S. election, I just couldn't take it anymore and I longed for the security of President Laura Roslyn and her muscle Bill Adama.
#7. /2008/03/real-worldroad-rules-challenge-gauntlet.html
I am most proud of this post about the RR/RW Challenges which I think are the "1950's Quizshow Scandal" for our generation and a definite harbinger of sneaky underhanded game playing yet to be seen on TV.
#8. /2008/04/wiig-iis-jamie-lee-curtis.html
Another Wiig clip. Her spoof of the Jaime Lee Curtis Activia poop-yogurt ads remains a classic!

A FEW OF PATTY'S FAVORITE POSTS
/2008/03/real-worldroad-rules-challenge-gauntlet.html
This is the closest I get to journalism. :-)
/2008/03/live-from-new-york-its-kristin-wiig.html
I just LOVE Kristin Wiig, and I'm very happy that this post is The Sectional's most popular.
/2008/06/probst-fans-better-than-biography.html
What a day this was on LIVE WITH JEFF PROBST AND KELLY! Jeff Probst shared scandalous photos and stories like he was on a Barbara Walters' interview. The embarrassing stories and photos just kept coming all show long.
/2008/03/lisa-ling.html
Lisa Ling doesn't get enough credit. She is like a female Anderson Cooper. She's not afraid to go anywhere to bring AMAZING stories to TV. She's a national treasure!
/2008/04/lee-adama-dick.html
Ugh! I just hated the entire "Citizen Adama" story line on BSG. They somehow manage to get away with having the same person play 8 different Cylons and I believe it. But I don't believe that Lee Adama would volunteer to get out of his viper to haggle over parking restrictions with the Fleet City Council. Laaame!
/2008/05/what-doesnt-anderson-cooper-know-about.html
This is just plain aDORable! If you haven't watched this Anderson Cooper clip yet, you MUST!
/2008/11/wiig-as-hasselcoulter.html
I can't believe it took SNL this long to skewer Elizabitch Hasselcoulter.

SEARCH ENGINE KEYWORDS
These words and combinations of words brought more people to The Sectional than all the other words in the English language. This list is in order!
joy+philbin+trainwreck I'm as surprised as you.
ben turner ace of cakes Few people are blogging about Ben.
ace of cakes ben turner (is there a big difference?)
anderson cooper penis Duh! It's like shooting fish in a barrel.
joy philbin Why aren't more people blogging about Joy Philbin!?
kristen wiig suze orman This was our highest traffic page until just last week.
kristin wiig suze orman The misspelling above was more common than this correctly spelled search term.

WHAT WE'VE WRITTEN ABOUT THE MOST (according to the tags)
the view (38)
elizabeth hasselbeck (29)
american idol (28)
john mccain (27)
Bush regime (25)
elizabeth hasselbitch (22)
sarah palin (22)
john mccain vp (20)
snl (16)
project runway (15)
antm (12)
live with regis and kelly (12)
antm11 (11)
sytycd 4 (11)
barbara walters (10)
kathy griffin (10)
seattle (10)
so you think you can dance (10)

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES vs. WEEDS
The AMERICAN IDOL judges: Yogi, Paula, and Snidely Whiplash.
AMERICAN IDOL loser Jason Castro and his alter-ego Rum Tum Tugger.
Oh no she didn't. Oh yes she did.ExxonMobil exemplifies everything that is wrong with the United States. They keep raking in record PROFITS while American citizens pay out the ass for cheap gas. The oil companies ran the U.S. while George W. Bush was in office.

That is SO Gaeda!

Remember there used to be a show called BATTLESTAR GALACTICA that was on the Sci-Fi channel once in a while? Well, I'd almost forgotten all about the show myself. When was the last episode? 2007? What happened? Something about Earth, I think. Who knows. That was soooo long ago. It's hard to get excited about a show that I can barely remember because it hasn't been on in years. And, silly me, I thought maybe the "exclusive" webisodes from Hulu would catch me up or fill me in. But, oh no! The webisodes just unravel more threads. What is going ON?!?!

New BSG starts Friday, January 16 at 10PM on Sci-Fi Channel. Don't frakin' forget!

Your Vote Is Your Voice

Remember, in November that when you vote you are trusting the planet to an old senile codger or an inexperience panderer. Why not make the right choice, the best choice for all of Earth.

Post Dated Post

Sorry SECTIONAL potatoes, but the weather has been too nice here and I've been out in the yard planting and killing plants and almost spraining my ankle. I'm a regular Martha Stewart! Plus, there really hasn't been anything on TV worth talking about. Denise Richards' show is --in a single word-- horrible. No one wants to watch her be "normal." The only reason to watch is to see her wing a laptop at some old lady in a wheelchair and then make out with Näive Campbell in a swimming pool. I have 4 episodes of THE VIEW on my TiVo waiting to be watched, but I'm just not sure I can watch that f#cking show any more. It's like being slapped in the face. After the emotional high of a really good envigorating LIVE WITH _____ & KELLY, it just sucks to have to listen to Elizabitch mouth off about topic after topic which she has NO business mouthing off about. I'm looking forward to watching TPIR repeats this summer when THE VIEW is in repeats, but I just can't delete THE VIEW from my To Do queue. Maybe I should start a "Get Elizabitch Pregant Again" campaign so she'll be off the show again for a few months. BATTLESTAR GALACTICA has lost its damn mind! I hate that the pace of the episodes is so uneven. The episode two weeks ago was a rip-roaring adventure-fest of non-stop action (and --apparently-- a great deal of hyphenation), and the episode last night was a glacially paced introspective mess that put Lee Nader in "charge" of nothing as Presidentemp of the Flying Colonies and the ONLY dude with ANY sense on the whole show leaves things in the hands of a cylon and is taking a chill with a good book. Respectfully, I have to say WTF!?!?! And speaking of WTF, Oscar was invited back on and then immediately voted off of STEP IT UP & DANCE last week, so I barely care what happens now. Nick is still cute, but he's no Oscar. I think we're still stuck in the summer TV doldrums. Here's hoping the next few weeks bring some exciting TV.

Oh, P.S. - The Gayken got some 50 year old lady (yes, lady) preggers AND 50 Cent's baby mama says he tried to kill her.

Lee Adama: Dick!

I don't remember what event or series of events made Lee Adama move from the job of fighter pilot --defending the fleet against their greatest enemy-- to city councilman Lee Adama of the Green Gaius Party --New New Caprica's very own traitor Ralph Nader? If he loves Gaius Baltar so much, why doesn't he marry him? Oh, right he can't because there are no gay people in the fleet. So, while Cylon Raiders are firing on the ship killing thousands, Lee Nader will be pounding his fists righteously on the conference room table demanding that they increase the .045% tax on Algae Juice Coolers. When what's left of the BATTLESTAR GALACTICA fleet arrives at Earth they'll be delivering to the ancient Egyptians Jesus Baltar, Lee Nader, and an "Eve" who's a robot nymphomaniac. Great! Thanks for that.

Of course, there is ONE thing Lee Nader has that Ralph Nader never did:

Tonight is the night!!

It is RARE these days that a TV show returns

for a fourth season better than before, but

Friday night's BSG premiere was all that and

a bag of chips.

Roslin / Adama '08

Without question the most exciting television event of 2008 thus far is just a few days away. I'm speaking -- of course -- about the premiere of the fourth season of the best show on television, BATTLESTAR GALACTICA.Screw Hilary. I'm voting for Laura Roslin in the 2008 election. If she gets here by November. The season ends in June, so hopefully she'll be here in time to kick ass and take names at the convention.
Aaaanyway, this Friday at 10PM, the ONE FREAKING YEAR WAIT (if you don't count RAZOR) is finally over. If you are watching the series, you are practically peeing with anticipation for the upcoming (and sadly final) season. If you are not watching the series, you better get on it! SCI-FI Channel is airing a BUNCH of episodes this week. I'm planning to TiVo the last 4 episodes of Season 3 on Friday afternoon and refresh my memory before the new episode on Friday night. I barely remember who any of these people are after a year off, but there are also a few BSG "specials" airing on SCI-FI. They'll help catch you up if your memory is fuzzy.
Some of the things I'm looking forward to are:^Angry, sexy Hilo!^Gruff but lovable Adama and Saint Laura Roslin!^Oh frack! Did D'Anna leave the iron on?!