Happy Friday, Potatoes! The tastiest sandwich on earth!

Happy Friday, Potatoes. Has anyone seen Neil Patrick Harris and Anderson Cooper 360 in the same room at the same time?  I think they're the same person.  Only kelly Ripa knows for sure.  Now just put me between the two and you've got the MOST delicious sandwich on Earth.

Saturday Video Buffet

Rejoice potatoes! Here, collected all in one handy place, are all of The Sectional's favorite YouTube videos... so far! What are we missing? Suggest additions, deletions, better versions, and links to YOUR top 5, 10, whatever. We all wanna see! Comment! It soothes the soul and refreshes the mind. Please to enjoy.

Anderson Cuter

Super Duper Anderson Cooper has broken through some sort of news/entertainment hymen to become both adorable AND trustworthy (as well as sexually ambiguous, vexingly enigmatic, and downright girly) at the same time, on air! The seriousness and gravity of a Walter Cronkite type news delivery system seems so "old man" and too scary for America. Andy Cooper (as La Griffin calls him) is so "versatile" that he can report about Middle East politics and also host CNN's historic first First Family Puppy "Debate."

Speaking of La Griffin (aren't we always?!) she was on JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE (Again!? Is her house like right up the street from his studio?) She talks about hosting New Year's Eve on CNN with "Andy."

More!

And, I could watch this clip all day! Happy Friday!

Was I High On Crack Or Was CNN?

Kathy Griffin was ON FIRE New Year's Eve in Times Square on CNN's downright trippy coverage of NYE around the globe. La Griffin was SO beautifully out-of-her-mind Anderson Cooper could BARELY keep up. She kept that closeted sex-machine on his toes for 2 hours of freezing cold LIVE tv. She kept CNN on their toes too! I have to say that it may have been the BEST Kathy has EVER looked on tv, and she was the BEST thing about the show. Any time they cut away to the crowd or another location, it was dead air. Anderson and Kathy had an infectious repartee that really made their interactions riveting. I couldn't have changed the channel if I wanted to. Kathy was IN CHARGE! Bravo, girl!

OH, but it gets SO much better! I missed this in the original broadcast. Thank you YouTube!

2009 Will Be a Let Down After This

Whoever is in charge at CNN and paired Super Duper Extra Sexy Closeted Anderson Cooper with Kathy God Damn Griffin deserves a special Emmy award. It just doesn't get any better! If Lance Bass shows up, I'll poop myself! I am going to TiVo the crap outta this show! Though, I'll probably be at home watching it on TiVo anyway. I'm not one for big holiday parties. I'm a nester. Only a Platinum Club Fag Hag like Griffin (and Kelly Ripa) can bring the big ol' gurl in Anderson out. Anderson is a giggling mess after 20 minutes with Griffin or Ripa. I'm hopin' and prayin' that when Regin tosses in the towel on his 25+ year LIVE morning TV show, that Anderson Cooper will replace him. I don't wish Regis ill, I just hope Coop gets his host chair when Regis moves on to a twice nightly show at the Trump Palace in Atlantic City. The countdown to New Year's Eve with Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin is ON, bitches!

Best Of The Sectional

Thanks again if you are reading this right now. Based on our calculations here at The Sectional Labs, LLC the following posts are THE BEST based on a few different criteria. We love Kristin Wiig and Joel McHale. We love SNL and PROJECT RUNWAY. We do not care for THE VIEW nor do we consider Dr. Phil an actual doctor (of anything). Let me know if any of the links don't link. I had to hand-code most of this post. Gah!

MOST VIEWS
#1. /2008/03/live-from-new-york-its-kristin-wiig.html
Kristin Wiig always gets a TON of hits. Obviously, not enough people are blogging about the Wiig's brilliance!
#2. /2008/12/snl-no-mo-po.html
Another huge hit for an SNL post. SNL really reaped a windfall from John McCain's selection of Tiny Fey as his running mate.
#3. /2008/04/anderson-cooper-penis-bump.html
I can NOT believe this clip hasn't been removed yet. It is a frequent favorite among Sectional readers. Everyday I keep expecting Super Duper Anderson Cooper to sue my ass. (Yes, I said "sue" not "do."
#4. /2008/03/very-live-with-regis-and-ke-joy-philbin.html
Not enough folks are blogging about what a great show LIVE is. And Joy Philbin deserves her own blog.
#5. /2008/03/picture-this-oops-you-cant.html
I'm always surprised when people who are on TV shows have absolutely NO other imprint on the Internet. I don't have a TV show (well, I did) and you can Google 2 pages worth of crap on me. Ben Turner is one of the stars of a popular show, but good luck finding out ANY info about him on the web.
#6. /2008/04/roslin-adama-08.html
At the height of the 2008 U.S. election, I just couldn't take it anymore and I longed for the security of President Laura Roslyn and her muscle Bill Adama.
#7. /2008/03/real-worldroad-rules-challenge-gauntlet.html
I am most proud of this post about the RR/RW Challenges which I think are the "1950's Quizshow Scandal" for our generation and a definite harbinger of sneaky underhanded game playing yet to be seen on TV.
#8. /2008/04/wiig-iis-jamie-lee-curtis.html
Another Wiig clip. Her spoof of the Jaime Lee Curtis Activia poop-yogurt ads remains a classic!

A FEW OF PATTY'S FAVORITE POSTS
/2008/03/real-worldroad-rules-challenge-gauntlet.html
This is the closest I get to journalism. :-)
/2008/03/live-from-new-york-its-kristin-wiig.html
I just LOVE Kristin Wiig, and I'm very happy that this post is The Sectional's most popular.
/2008/06/probst-fans-better-than-biography.html
What a day this was on LIVE WITH JEFF PROBST AND KELLY! Jeff Probst shared scandalous photos and stories like he was on a Barbara Walters' interview. The embarrassing stories and photos just kept coming all show long.
/2008/03/lisa-ling.html
Lisa Ling doesn't get enough credit. She is like a female Anderson Cooper. She's not afraid to go anywhere to bring AMAZING stories to TV. She's a national treasure!
/2008/04/lee-adama-dick.html
Ugh! I just hated the entire "Citizen Adama" story line on BSG. They somehow manage to get away with having the same person play 8 different Cylons and I believe it. But I don't believe that Lee Adama would volunteer to get out of his viper to haggle over parking restrictions with the Fleet City Council. Laaame!
/2008/05/what-doesnt-anderson-cooper-know-about.html
This is just plain aDORable! If you haven't watched this Anderson Cooper clip yet, you MUST!
/2008/11/wiig-as-hasselcoulter.html
I can't believe it took SNL this long to skewer Elizabitch Hasselcoulter.

SEARCH ENGINE KEYWORDS
These words and combinations of words brought more people to The Sectional than all the other words in the English language. This list is in order!
joy+philbin+trainwreck I'm as surprised as you.
ben turner ace of cakes Few people are blogging about Ben.
ace of cakes ben turner (is there a big difference?)
anderson cooper penis Duh! It's like shooting fish in a barrel.
joy philbin Why aren't more people blogging about Joy Philbin!?
kristen wiig suze orman This was our highest traffic page until just last week.
kristin wiig suze orman The misspelling above was more common than this correctly spelled search term.

WHAT WE'VE WRITTEN ABOUT THE MOST (according to the tags)
the view (38)
elizabeth hasselbeck (29)
american idol (28)
john mccain (27)
Bush regime (25)
elizabeth hasselbitch (22)
sarah palin (22)
john mccain vp (20)
snl (16)
project runway (15)
antm (12)
live with regis and kelly (12)
antm11 (11)
sytycd 4 (11)
barbara walters (10)
kathy griffin (10)
seattle (10)
so you think you can dance (10)

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES vs. WEEDS
The AMERICAN IDOL judges: Yogi, Paula, and Snidely Whiplash.
AMERICAN IDOL loser Jason Castro and his alter-ego Rum Tum Tugger.
Oh no she didn't. Oh yes she did.ExxonMobil exemplifies everything that is wrong with the United States. They keep raking in record PROFITS while American citizens pay out the ass for cheap gas. The oil companies ran the U.S. while George W. Bush was in office.

Michael Phelps and Anderson Cooper: The Buddy System

I don't even know where to start on this highly-professional, highly-erotic interview/bromance of Phelps by Coop on 60 MINUTES. Towards the end of the piece, Coop races Phelps. Sorry, Coop fans, no Speedo. But I'll take tasty Anderson in his baggy-ass swim trunks ANY day! I don't even want to THINK about what happened in the steam room later! (Just kidding! Of COURSE want to know!!)

Watch CBS Videos Online

You Should Have That Mole Looked At

Monday night on ABC THEMOLE aired its second episode. Many reviews of THEMOLE keep "bitching" about how complicated THEMOLE is, but frankly it's not half as smart as it used to be, and it's still a lot more entertaining than many other shows out there. It's really too early to tell who the mole is, but I doubt it's Nicole who threatened to actually kill Paul in his sleep and leave no forensic evidence. ABC is ruthless, but I think they draw the line at publicly pre-announced murder. Nicole's one step away from crazy, and Paul wants to push her there. Bobby would be my lead candidate for the mole, but he's just too obvious. Like I said, no one really sticks out. The editing really sticks out in THEMOLE but not for the right reasons. When the show first aired, it was among the first serial reality game shows. The viewing public wasn't as aware then of the gross manipulation of the proceedings of the reality game shows by editors and producers. The old Mole made me think. So far, THEnewMOLE has kept my attention, but it's not making me think (except about Anderson Cooper).

This Mole's For You

I'm happy to report that THE new MOLE is pretty good. It's usually tough to judge a "new" reality show from the first few episodes, but I enjoyed last night's premiere. They've traded a little bit of the intrigue and mystery of the previous incarnation of THE MOLE for "new millennium" drama. There's more "dun dun DUUUN" and less "hmmmmm." The new host is better than I thought he would be, but I will always miss my little Anderson Coopster who was the best MOLE host ever! The show also suffers from the FOX-syndrome where they rush through sections of the show too quickly and drag other sections out too long. Perhaps the pace will self-correct as more players are eliminated. I have NO idea who the mole is, but the following players are my favorites. Contetant bios from ABC's THE MOLE site.

"Paul has the accent and demeanor that clearly reveals he's an Italian New Yorker from Yonkers. Paul works 9 to 5 as a machinist for a utility company and as a wedding DJ on the weekends."

Liz rocks!! "Liz has more energy than people half her age. She lives life to the fullest and does not let age stand in her way. She won't hesitate to shock people with her outlandish sense of humor. Liz is a widow. When her husband passed away, she decided to adopt two children and raise them on her own." 6/9/2008 update: Liz was executed on the second episode.

"Bobby [is a fox,] loves games, competing, and winning, though you may not know it from his low key exterior. He is a hardcore fan of The Mole and used to host Mole watching parties in his basement. He knows the game well and has a solid strategy to form coalitions with less intelligent players that he can lead astray."

What DOESN'T Anderson Cooper Know About Bears?!

Happy Saturday!

Yes! Yes! YES! The Mole Is BACK!

Praise be unto Disney for bringing back the BEST REALITY SHOW EVER! On Monday June 2, THE MOLE returns to ABC. Sadly, this incarnation is sans Anderson Cooper. That fact bums me out in a BIG way, but I'll sacrifice my sweet Coop for the return of at least ONE intelligent show on TV. BIG BROTHER this ain't! I am SO excited, and YOU should be too. The ABC website explains,

"Dubbed television's smartest reality show, ABC is bringing back "The Mole," featuring all-new missions, locations and music, plus online and mobile interactivity, enabling more viewer participation during the 10 episodes. Jon Kelley ("Extra," "The National Sports Report," "Baseball Today") is host.

"The Mole" follows a group of 12 players as they try to figure out who among them is The Mole, a saboteur trying to keep them from winning money. Players must decide who they think The Mole is and then learn as much about him or her as they can, because, at the end of each one-hour episode, the player who knows the least about The Mole is immediately eliminated from the game. In the final dramatic episode, The Mole is revealed and one of two final players wins a substantial cash prize.

"The Mole," based on the hit Belgian format, will be produced by Stone & Company Entertainment. The original series, produced by Stone Stanley Entertainment, was hosted by Anderson Cooper.

So, we'll see about this Jon Kelley character. He's got some mighty big track pants to fill. Cooper was really what made the show so smart. He really had to play the role of omnipotent tease and impartial guide on a crazy maze of clues and misdirects. I hope the new version doesn't dumb-down the razor sharp show for America's plummeting national average IQ. If it's 7/8 as good as the original there will FINALLY be a reason to watch TV until the next PROJECT RUNWAY in 3 years.

Anderson Cooper Penis Bump!

On Friday's LIVE WITH [whoever] & KELLY, Anderson Cooper giggled his way through the show with his usual girlish glee, and then when they got to the exercise segment of the show, I started to giggle with girlish glee. Anderson "Super Duper" Cooper's family jewels were on full display in the shiny track pants he wore (picked out -- no doubt -- by the barely-straight Gelman). Though he protested and refused to do the more risque movements contorted by Kelly "1% body fat" Ripa, Mr. Cooper's package was clearly visible through much of the segment. It was almost as good as mens gymnastics. Until it gets taken down and/or I get sued, here's the best transfer I could make. I mean NO HARM in sharing this glorious moment in penis bump history. The people need to know this happened. Watch and enjoy.

Li'l Anderson. Tee hee.

Anderson Cooper co-hosted LIVE WITH [ANYONE BUT REGIS LATELY] & KELLY, and Coop's never more like a giggly school girl than when he's dishing the dirt and doing Paula Abdul imitations (no lie) with Kelly Ripa. Thank you, Kelly, for making Coop almost comfortable enough to show an emotion. Today's episode was one of the top ten LIVE W/ R&K episodes ever. Sadly, I can't embed the video, but you can see for yourself on the R&K web viewer.