A Republican With A Brain... on THE VIEW no less!

I was pleasantly shocked today by the substitution of Fixed News Channel (I mean FOX "news" Channel) personality E.D. Hill for Republican robot mouthpiece (and broken record) Elizabitch Hasselcoulter at today's sit down on THE VIEW. I'm sure she's a nightmare on Fixed Noise (I mean FOX "news" sorry about that), but E.D. was a refreshing change from Hassellcoulter's non-stop McCain propagandering. She actually sounded intelligent when defending her positions, and she actually let the other ladies speak and respected their opinions. I don't wish any harm to Elizabitch, but if I was E.D. Hill, I'd push that bitch down a flight of stairs like Gina Gershon in SHOWGIRLS. Elizabitch Hassellcoulter is a WASTE of a chair on THE VIEW. She has ONE view and doesn't entertain the thought that anyone else could know more about her about anything including growing up Black in the U.S. in the 50's and 60's, which I think Whoopi does know more about than Elizabitch. THE VIEW might as well set up a CD on a loop that just shouts, "Obama is a terrorist and John McCain is a national war hero!" and "John McCain is NOT George Bush." Both are lies, but it's the only thing Elizabitch seems to believe any more. One call, Barbara Walters, one call and that G.O.Princess could be off your show for good (for the good of all)! Today showed you a glimpse of what could be a beautiful new morning. Fire Elizabitch tonight!

Elizabitch Hasselcoulter, Shut The F#ck Up!

For the second day in a row, Elizabitch Hasselcoulter has strained SO hard to link Barack Obama to terrorism that you can see her starting to crack. Even Barbara Walters is at the end of her rope. Elizabeth Hasselcoulter's EXTREME (lie soaked) "view" does not belong on THE VIEW. G-d only knows what she'll be like tomorrow after the next debate! I'm scared. Will someone hold me?

Bitchcon meltdown!

Monday morning, Elizabitch Hasselcoulter almost imploded defending McCain and McPalin after the train wreck of a (wink) debate last week. Her frustration at having ALL three other women on THE VIEW jump down her throat was palpable and may have registered on Bitch-O-Meters worldwide.

One View

I could FEEEEEEL Elizabitch Hassellcoulter seeeeething today on THE VIEW when the other ladies were --rightfully-- taking Sarah "No Experience" Palin to task for not EVER having met a foreign leader (or vice-leader). She had no comeback other than her usual broken-record Republican Robot Routine, which was squashed by the presence of Barbara Walters who was shooting daggers (and throwing facts) at her all morning. This is pure speculation, but I think that Babs has had enough! and is keeping Elizabitch on a shorter leash this season. Nevertheless, I have no shortage of friends who email me on a regular basis to tell me that Elizabeth made them want to reach into the TV and throttle her or give her a crisp smack. I don't condone violence, but Elizabitch Hassellcoulter does. I HATE that I love her outfit so much.

Are You There God, It's Me Elizabitch Hassellcoulter

PLEASE LET THIS BE TRUE!!! Deliciously pink blog Pop Crunch (Mmmm, crunchy!) reports, "The good news is Elisabeth Hasselbeck may be leaving The View. Unfortunately, the conservative pyscho isn’t leaving the country." They go on to say that Elizabitch is unhappy at THE VIEW (gee, how could you tell?!) and that FOX has been throwing offers at her. GO! GO, ELIZABETH, GO! Go where no on cares that you are a brainless mouthpiece for Karl Rove and Dick Cheney. Elizabitch Hassellcoulter's replacement could be Margaret Cho, Chelsea Handler, Kathy Griffin, John McCain's daughter (who is a Republican, but not a republican tool), or even Ashley F#cking Tisdale as long as Elizabitch hits the pavement and SOON! It's easy to see from the photo why FOX is so interested in her. Bill O'Reilly can NOT wait for the office Holiday --ahem!, I mean office Christmas party.

New This Season on THE VIEW

One of the exciting new additions to this 12th season of THE VIEW is that
over the summer Whoopi, Joy, & Barbara were apparently freebasing Boniva and grew a spine! At least for the first two days of the season, those three ladies have been on Elizabitch Hassellcoulter like wild and long-grain on rice! Every time Elizabitch tries to pull the "Palin has more experience than Obama" bullsh#t line, the three ladies jump on her like a pack of wild cougers. Hasselcoulter has tried at least half a dozen times in two days to spread the Republican talking point that Palin is more experienced than Barack Obama, which is utter CRAP. Anyone with a high school education should be able to read the facts. Also, I couldn't believe that Elizabitch had the nerve to say right to Barbara Walters' face that Barbara was disparaging and disrespecting working mothers by simply ASKING if Sarah Palin could share her plan for raising 5 children, one of whom has Downs Syndrome and one of who is an unwed pregnant minor. I'd sure like to know how Palin plans to raise 5 children if McCain wins and then kicks the bucket and she is President (god forbid either has the chance to do either). Barbara Walters has been working 24 hours a day 7 days a week for 70 years, and Elizabitch is going to question HER on parenting issues?! Sherri Sheppard is still a loose cannon of ignorance and immaturity (at age 40) who will fuel Hasselcoulter's fire for hatred and misinformation this season. Plus, the ladies are just back from a loooong vacation, and I hope that Elizabitch doesn't wear them all down like she did last season. By the end of last season, no one could say anything to Elizabitch with her going on a "John MCain is the saviour of our country" diatribe (for 5 minutes). It so obvious that Elizabitch gets a script from the RNC every morning and she just parrots that script no matter what anyone else at the table has to say. This season, for the FIRST time, the ladies are not letting Hasselcoulter get away with her propaganda and lies. Both Whoopi and Barbara did more to try to stop her today than I've ever seen before. So, GOOD JOB ladies, but I don't know how much more I can take. It's like watching a really bloody boxing match every morning.Here is a chilling example of what Elizabitch Hasselcoulter's world would look like if John McCain wins in November.

Weekly BITCHCON Wrap-Up

For all (three) of you out there in the Ether, here's my weekly wrap-up of Elizabitch Hasselcoulter's "antics" on THE VIEW. When will ABC pull the plug on this Anne Coulter wanna be?!

MONDAY
Her holier-than-thou attitude about Bernie Mac pissed me off because once again, Elizabitch was talking out of her ass. With THREE stand-up comediennes on the co-host panel, SHE is the "expert" and "final answer" on the issue of a comedian crossing the line. Then later, when the conversation turned political, the robot Republican Coulter-parrot started up again, "John McCain!" John McCain!"

TUESDAY
Hasselcoulter sends the BITCHCON soaring with just the sight of her hideous dress alone, but then she nudges it up to 4 by whining. Boo hoo you rich white bigot! BRAVO to Joy and Whoopi for mocking her openly to her face.

WEDNESDAY
Ever notice how the BITCHCON meter drops at least 1-2 levels when Barbara is sitting next to Hasselcoulter? Maybe on the days the reanimated corpse of Barbara Walters is in cold storage they could sit a cardboard cutout next to Elizabeth to shut her up.

THURSDAY
And then the very next day, my theory is blown to shit because Barbara was sitting right next to Hasselcoulter when she melted down and cried. In a show where Sherri Shepard called a white Barbie (the doll) a "ho" it was all hands on deck! And in Elizabitch's weakened --almost human-- state, she aaaalmost listened to what Whoopi had to say about growing up as a black woman in America instead of acting like SHE was the "final answer" on racism and contradicting her. Whoopi must have spat the N-Bomb at Elizabeth at least 6 times. In her FACE! Loved it. And, Elizabeth cried, so I was happy. By the time they finally got around to talking about S & M Barbie, though Whoopi was over the whole show and said when they other ladies (mostly Elizabeth and Barbara) cut her off she said, "I'm gonna let it go because you guys don't know what I'm talking about [personal sexual freedom] and it's a waste of time!" So, Whoopi finally admitted that it's pointless to watch THE VIEW.

FRIDAY
Everyone was too exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster of Thursday to raise much fuss today. Don't forgt to check out hunk-du-jour for the weekly wrap-up of THE PRICE IS RIGHT hot guy contestants that I missed while I was watching ELIZABETH'S VIEW on ABC.