UFC: The Musical!

Not only is THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER the most deliciously homoerotic show on TV since JACKASS, it also provides some random reality show moments like this one. TUF fighter David Kaplan is a multi-talented attention whore, it turns out. Let's start with a clip of Kaplan on Joey Fatone's rocket-to-stardom NBC'S THE SINGING BEE.

Now that we're 100% sure he's NOT gay, let's take a look at him from this past season's THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER. In case you've been living under a rock, THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER is a SPIKE TV reality show featuring mixed martial arts cage fighters fighting their way toward a UFC contract and sponsorship deals. It's a BIG opportunity, but at least 1/2 the guys are too lunkheaded to make the most of the experience. Here's SINGING BEE winner David Kaplan on THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER.
It's difficult to say in which clip he looks the most uncomfortable.

To Do List For October 3-5

The Sectional has a very busy weekend planned, but will be putting the following on our TO DO LIST for the weekend:
1) Watch THE SOUP Friday night at 10:00PM
2) Watch TABATHA repeat on Sat
3) Watch ULTIMATE FIGHTER repeat on Sat
4) Watch SNL
5) Watch AMAZZZZING RACE on Sun
6) Buy gold
7) Stuff my mattress with cash
8) Vacuum

The Week In Crap: A Weekly Wrap-Up To See How The Crap Stands Up

Last Monday I said good-bye to SAMANTHA WHO? We had a rocky relationship. I hate people who are chronically tardy, and Samantha always started at 9:02 or 9:32. For awhile Samantha, a smart tough single woman, was aired opposite Old Christine on CBS who was also a smart tough single woman. So I had to choose between them. Because they were two of the smartest shows about smart tough single women, I often felt regret regardless of my decision. There's another example of TV making me feel crappy instead of happy.

Last Tuesday's AMERICAN IDOL was a big, stinky pile of garbage. Each of the remaining Idols rushed through 3 songs and skittered across the stage at Ryan's beck and call. I guess they didn't have time for rehearsal this week. Maybe they were wrestling Mr. Archuleta to the floor backstage. Each Idol pulled off one of their three songs, but stumbled badly on at least one song. On Wednesday, I was pleased by the results of the results show.

Also on Wednesday, I enjoyed me some ULTIMATE FIGHTER.

On Thursday, THE OFFICE season finale made me pee myself and also wet my face with something called tears. Squish squish.

I've been so busy that I haven't even watched BATTLESTAR GALACTICA yet. Shhh! Don't tell me anything about it!

This is how bad bad is.

Here's a list of a few shows that I find SO boring or pointless that I refuse to watch them, and coming from ME, that is really saying something.
1. Dancing with the Stars - because, to me, it's neither dancing nor with the stars.
2. The Bachelor - is just Flavor Of Love level hootchiness with a white guy.

3. The Bad Girls Club - I already watch THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER

4. Big Brother - for some reason I'm more likely to watch this gossipy dreck in the Summer

5. That Lie Detector Show - they show the best clips on EVERY news show all day long

American Gladiators

So, among the dire predictions from my childhood that have come true (1984, America turning into puritanical England circa 1620, $6.00 cigarettes, and $4.00 gasoline, etc.) SURVIVOR has now become the American version of the deadly gladiator sports of ancient Rome. The prevailing wisdom of the 70's and 80's was that when we started cheering on personal injury and death on TV civilization would be over. Well, last night the reward challenge on SURVIVOR was the most brutal thing I've ever seen on TV, and I watch THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER. Last night insurance industry actuaries around the world were wincing. MY insurance rates went up because of the gross negligence exhibited on SURVIVOR. At least in the UFC there's a trained ref on hand, and both the contenders are in shape. Last night, big beefy Joel was literally dragging poor pathetic sad gay Chet through the mud because Chad just wouldn't stand up an move. Miraculously, Chet wasn't injured (probably because he just went limp while being dragged around). Others were not so lucky, and the injury toll is clearly a new SURVIVOR record. Jonathan Penner punctured his leg and it was deeeep. Amy wrenched her knee. I think it was Eliza who is lucky to have a face after getting slammed into a tree face first. I love SURVIVOR, but just like every other show, they're desperate to "take it to the next level," and now we know that the next level is likely to be death.