SNL Airs Sketchmericials

SNL was (finally) back this week to plug Steve Martin's new PINK PANTHER 2: STEVE MARTIN'S PAYCHECK. How many times is he going to host the show?! What the hell is Justin Timberlake doing that's so frickin' important that he can't host SNL?! Justin! Justin! Justin! My favorite new SNL faux commercial was for edible Pampers. Nasty! Then shortly after the faux commerical, I found it interesting/scary that SNL and/or NBC/UNIVERSAL/GE tossed in commercials disguised as MacGruber sketches guest starring actual MacGyver, Richard Dean Anderson. The super-awesome Kristin Wiig co-starred. Were they sketches or commercials or sketchmercials? The MacGruber sketchmercials were for my new least-favorite mega-corp, Pepsi. You may know Pepsi as the company who took the Obama logo for their own corportate logo after Obama's election win. If McCain had won (god forbid!) would we be drinking Pepsi out of cans with liver spots? Then after faux commercials and commercials disguised as sketches, SNL had the nerve to make a joke at the end of Weekend Update about CBS creating a show called "CSI: SHAM-WOW." More like NBC: Sham Now! Then later Steve Martin played banjo to shamelessly plug his new CD of apparently weird banjo songs. It was tough to tell if the song they performed was a children's song or what. Anyway, on with the show... Spoiler alert: there was a new insane Laser Cats short which was like the homemade version of STAR WARS. Miss Amy LOVES Laser Cats. It's growing on me. Also, Lorne Michaels' office looks like a cross between Tina Fey's office and Alec Baldwin's office on 30 ROCK which I find odd. Almost as odd as the unexplained backstage llama. I only like Jason Mraz because he's kinda cute in a so-ugly-he's-cute kinda way. He's also very humorous, which is sexy if used properly. He didn't look particularly sexy on SNL, but he sounded better than most people do. The only people who sound good playing live on SNL are U2, Christina Aguilera, and -- apparently -- Mr. Mraz. The highlight of Weekend Update was Jason Sudeikis' brilliant post-impeachment Blagojevich ape. Loved it! Some new chick did a sick and hilarious spot-on impression of Angela Jolie. And THANK YOU JESUS! Despite previous uproar and outrage, Fred Armisen came back as New York Governor Patterson, which is the funniest thing EVER. It's SO f'ing sick and WRONG - I LOVE it! He was relentless too. It made the previous Patterson sketches look tame by comparison. Otherwise, Update has gone waaaay down hill since Amy and Tina left. Seth just isn't enough for me. I'd LOVE to see Kristin Wiig do a different co-anchor each week (Katie Couric, Elizabitch Hasselbeck, Martha Stewart, etc.) C'mon, Lorne! Wiig me! NOW!Here's PART 3 of the MacGruber Pepsi Sketchmercials. Each spot got increasingly more "pepsi-fied."

BLAGO! (Sudekis is brilliant!)

And, now... the best. Ladies and Gentlepotatoes, I give you New York State Governor Patterson.

Clips of other hilarity (Edible Pampers and Angelina Jolie, just to name a few) are online at HULU.com and NBC.com.

Patty's 10 Most Fascinating People of 2008

That loony old bag of bones, Barbara Walters aired her annual cheesefest THE 10 MOST FASCINATING PEOPLE OF THE YEAR last week. According to who? Babs? ABC/Disney? Babs' new BFF (Brown-nosing Freedom Fighter) Elizabitch Hassellcoulter? Here's a list of about 10 people I found fascinating this year. I'm not including political folks in this list because, let's face it --hands down-- the MOST fascinating person of the last two years is President-Elect Barack Obama. Followed closely by Sarah "Crazy Ass" Palin for jus' bein' an Alaskan hockey mom pit bull genius. Followed by John "Where Am I?" McCain for picking that retarded harpy as a running mate. Followed by Hillary "Never Say Die" Clinton for hanging in there until the bitter, bitter end. I respect her more than ever and am THRILLED that she will be our new Secretary of State representing the rebuilding of our international relations after 8 years of severing relations with everyone who used to help and support us. Anyway, on to my own cheesetrainwreck for 2008:
Honorable mentions: Madonna, Joel McHale, Kristin Wiig and Miss Jay Alexander. [Oh shit! I forgot Onch from PARIS HILTON'S BFF.]
10. Nene from THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA seems like the person who got edited into a crazy person on the show, but is more fun in "real life" than "reality tv life." She's the main reason I'm even looking forward to season 2 at all!
9. Bonnie Hunt is taking a big risk jumping on the daytime talk show train, but I love her and I think that she can pull it off. I just hope "the suits" give her time to "grow." Also, she needs to fire her band and get a new one. The one she has looks like some guys who just showed up and might all play the same thing if they feel like it.
8. Christian Siriano because he's fierce personified! He's also the first PROJECT RUNWAY winner to actually flip that win into a career.
7. Tina Fey because she's just too damn funny. She already had a hit show and a shelf full of awards, but when John "Crazy Train" McCain picked Sarah "I Can See Russia From My House" Palin, Fey stepped up to her perform her patriot duty and make merciless fun of that crazy bitch, Palin.
6. Kathy Griffin because she's even funnier than Tina Fey, but in a very different way. She won her 2nd Emmy and got the Grammy nod that she's been shamelessly campaigning for all year.
5. Regis Philbin because he's slowly losing his marbles on live TV every morning yet he still remains a lovable curmudgeon. I've been watching Regis for over 20 years and he's always been feisty, but feisty and forgetful are a dangerous combination. Also, his mispronunciation of even the most "normal" names on the show is becoming a daily joke (that isn't that funny).
4. Kelly Ripa because she's got the toughest 1 hour job on TV. If Regis is the driving force of the show, she's steering. And, if she's the driving force, Regis is hanging on for dear life. Whenever co-hosts join Kelly at the host-chat table (like super duper Anderson Cooper and super sexual Sean William Scott) she brings out the absolute best in them.
3. Maria Menunos because she's EVERYWHERE, and always looking fabulous. She's also unflappable in a highly flappable business.
2. Britney, bitch! because she's Britney, bitch!
1. Amy Winehouse because it's fascinating that she's still alive. I mean she started the year by accepting a couple of Grammys practically from rehab (or house arrest) I forget which! Then she went downhill from there. WAY downhill. She's gone from Grammy winner to crazy lady in her neighbor's bushes in a matter of weeks. Sad but fascinating.

Agree? Disagree? Have your own list? Comment!

You Didn't Ask But...

Here's what I thought of the most politically charged Emmys telecast in my lifetime on Sunday. The pokes and jabs at George Bush and the last 8 years just kept on coming allll night long. The evening started a little bumpy. People in the 4th balcony were given vertigo by Oprah's jiggling bosom. It actually registered on the Richter scale. The "hosts" of the show said it best, "don't follow Oprah." The "reality" of the opening bit was really weak for me. It sort of pointed out how limited some of the hosts talents are. It also pointed out that reality shows really need editing to work. I thought Heidi looked better in the suit than the onesie. Who is directing this show? A monkey? Howie Mandel? No one?! The shots are allll over the place. It's a mess! Also, Jeremy Piven REALLY should have written something before he got up there, but he pulled it out of his butt in the end. Even though he came off as more Ari Gold than Jeremy Piven. I love Jean Smart and SAMANTHA WHO. My favorite DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES actresses' dress was (barely) Marcia "Crazy As a Sh!T House Rat" Cross. And her makeup was flawless! I did NOT care for any of the other dresses. Ricky Gervais' comic timing is brilliant. He had that giant crowd in the palm of his hand. Tommy Smothers has STILL got it though it seemed like he'd lost it once or twice during his speech. Josh Groban's medley made him seem insane and pretty gay. I can say that because I am gay. I could barely keep up with what he was singing. Parts of it were funny, but mostly I was cringing. Poor Josh Groban. He just doesn't have an identity to me. And, this performance really showed why. He's everyone at once. Then Laura Linney won ANOTHER award, and it looks like I'll have to watch JOHN ADAMS on DVD now. Though, I still highly recommend BERNARD & DORIS, I have to give Linney props for taking a dig at Rudy Guiliani in her acceptance speech. There are no words to describe my joy at the (idea of the) LAUGH-IN bit! Lily Tomlin is a goddess. Joanne Worley has still got it. Who knew Ruth Buzzi was still alive?! Sadly, the bit stunk up the joint. It was a technical/timing nightmare and oddly anachronistic. Lauren Conrad at The Emmys?! Holy SH#T! I can not believe the Earth didn't open and swallow the entire theatre. No! No! No! I'm so happy Kathryn Joosten won Best Supporting Actress for DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. She's a hoot! Then Barry Sonnenfeld won for PUSHING DAISIES, which I'll now have to watch on DVD. He should definitely stay behind the camera. Then... Yay!! More Emmys for Tina Fey! Then Jed Bartlett, my favorite President ever, showed up to give some historical perspective to the show. In an evening where George Bush was taking jabs from everyone at the mic, of course RECOUNT won the Emmy for Best Made for TV Movie. It really was "stick it to George Bush" night, and --as I've said before-- it's about 6 1/2 years too late, folks. Anyway, despite the fact the George Bush has driven this country into a ditch we'll never get out of, the awards show went on... to bash John McCain. Interesting to note, John Adams was one of the people who fought to get us all freedom of speech, and the winning writer of JOHN ADAMS was cut right off by the director of the show mid-sentence of a sentence about speaking in complete sentences. Kathy Griffin looked FANTASTIC and made people give Rickles a standing O. Then she really rolled with the punches as Rickles ran the show. She really had to hang on for dear life as as Rickles careened around the edges of good taste. Especially this past season, I do not think THE AMAZzzzzzING RACE deserved an Emmy over PROJECT RUNWAY, or AMERICAN IDOL for that matter. Hey, Sally Field, lose the sleevelettes! Even TiVo-ing through the commercials, this show seemed sooooo long! Couldn't they tell when they showed half a SEINFELD episode that the show might run a little long?! I love me some Alec Baldwin! I'm glad that he won for 30 ROCK too. I hope 30 ROCK goes on forever. Glenn Close and Sharon Gless are morphing into the same woman more everyday. That keeps me up at night. Then they did the "In Memorium" montage, which always gets me right here. I tear up. I do. Here is a list of people I didn't know were dead or already thought had been dead for quite some time: Cyd Charisse, Suzanne Pleshette, and Stan Winston. Yay for Bryan Cranston who should have won (at least once) for MALCOLM. Now, I'll have to watch BREAKING BAD on DVD. Yay!! More Emmys for Tina Fey! Tina Fey! Tina Fey! The set up for giving out the Best Competition Reality Show Host Emmy was a rare glimmer of genius in an otherwise lame evening. Wow! Probst won the Emmy! He is sort of the "father" of reality TV, and gave an appropriately respectful speech. Mary Tyler Moore looks great from the neck up. And, then of course, Yay!! More Emmys for Tina Fey! Tina Fey! Tina Fey! What a weird Emmys. TV is really changing when a show from AMC wins Best Drama. Now, I'll have to watch MAD MEN on DVD. All that rushing and bit-cutting and the show came in on time. Maybe that was just on the West Coast. Did the show run way over live on the East Coast? What did you think of Oprah's boobs, Tina Fey, Ricky Gervais, Josh Groan-ban?

Palin and Clinton Address the Nation Together

Not to oversell last night's opening on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, but only Tina Fey and Amy Pohler could have pulled off such a silly and serious sketch about the STARK differences between Palin and Clinton. And, Pohler captured Hillary's justified outrage at the recent turn of events. Tina Fey gets mad props from me for pushing her Palin aping past the obvious doppleganger similarities. I was secretly hoping and chanting that Fey would appear as Palin, and I my guarded optimism was paid off last night. Enjoy the clip.

Also interesting to note is the insane spike in people Googling the word "flurge." It is the #23 MOST SEARCHED term as of Sunday at noon Pacific time (with a bullet!) Various versions of "tina fey as sarah palin snl" etc are ranked 3rd through 6th.