Styli ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ sta Is Finally Over

Does anyone care that STYLISTA finally ended last week? Or was it the week before? Who won? Some girl who was a bitch. The really bitchy one? No. The kinda timid-about-being-bitchy girl. Oh. Hmmm. The really bitchy girl did what most delusional reality show contestants do, she walked off with her head held high talking about how she'd hire and fire them all someday. Then she dissolved into tears. Did Anne warm up at all during the show? Yes, she laughed often, though almost always AT someone. Sometimes Joe Zee laughed for her, if she was too busy or bored or distracted. Anne made Patsy Stone look like a model employee! I still can't get over how much venom Brooke could pack into saying the name "Anne." It was like she threw up a little in her throat every time she said it and the "e" was the sound of her swallowing it. So the show was a complete waste of time? Yes. Worse than THE SHOT? Oh hell yes! Worse than the first episode of this past season of ANTM? Oh hell no! I still have nightmares that someone is cloning Tyra banks in a lab somewhere.

Smoke Up, Bitches!

Wednesday night has slipped a bit from the gayest night on TV to being the bitchiest night on TV. The models on ANTM started getting up in each others' grills. Sheena and Alina couldn't stop sniping at each other. Marjorie got caught in the middle when she and Alina were accused of being "European especially on the episode where the girls find out they're going to Amsterdam to smoke weed with ." Ewwww. I have to say the patriotism/xenophobia issues were an unusual topic of discourse for ANTMTyra and Nigel Barker. Oops, I mean to model. It's never a good thing when one of my favorite girls is in the bottom two, and this week I lost one of my peeps. Then ANTM ended early (which you know I hate) to make way for AMERICA'S NEXT TOP BITCH. Oops, I mean STYLISTA, the new CW show where ultra-bitchy young people get ripped to shreds by bitchy bitches at Elle Magazine. Someone will be fatally scratched on this show by another contestant or a hungry intern at Elle. One contestant said early on that, "I'd give my left arm for this opportunity. Literally!" Well, just wait 'til later in the episode, sweetie. I'm sure someone at Elle will ask you for it. Should be fun. The 3 things that you need to know about STYLISTA are: 1) The Fashion News Director of ELLE magazine for the past 10 years is Anne Slowey, and she is the head judge on the show. She also is an uncanny living caricature of Patsy Stone. 2) EVERY employee at Elle Magazine says the name "Anne" as if it were a razor sharp dagger tipped with deadly poison. 3) One of the contestants is named -- and I'm not kidding you -- "Cologne." This show is SO getting a a season pass.