UFC: The Musical!

Not only is THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER the most deliciously homoerotic show on TV since JACKASS, it also provides some random reality show moments like this one. TUF fighter David Kaplan is a multi-talented attention whore, it turns out. Let's start with a clip of Kaplan on Joey Fatone's rocket-to-stardom NBC'S THE SINGING BEE.

Now that we're 100% sure he's NOT gay, let's take a look at him from this past season's THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER. In case you've been living under a rock, THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER is a SPIKE TV reality show featuring mixed martial arts cage fighters fighting their way toward a UFC contract and sponsorship deals. It's a BIG opportunity, but at least 1/2 the guys are too lunkheaded to make the most of the experience. Here's SINGING BEE winner David Kaplan on THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER.
It's difficult to say in which clip he looks the most uncomfortable.

Happy Winter Solstice!

Happy Winter Solstice, potatoes! Have you hugged a Pagan today?! If you live in North America, your days will be getting longer (yay!), and if you live in the Southern Hemisphere... bad news: your days are getting shorter. When it's winter solstice in the Northern Hemisphere, the sun is directly overhead at noon only along the Tropic of Capricorn, on which lie such places as Sao Paulo, Brazil, southern Madagascar, and areas north of Brisbane, Australia. It hardly seems like the first day of winter here in Seattle! We've had day after day of snow all week. News of longer days couldn't come soon enough! Many, many cultures the world over perform solstice ceremonies. At their root: an ancient fear that the failing light would never return unless humans intervened with anxious vigil or antic celebration. I'll be anxiously waiting for the snow/ice to melt and I'll be engaging in antic celebration today with KUNG FU PANDA and the ULTIMATE FIGHTER FINALE. Here's the view from my window today.

American Gladiators

So, among the dire predictions from my childhood that have come true (1984, America turning into puritanical England circa 1620, $6.00 cigarettes, and $4.00 gasoline, etc.) SURVIVOR has now become the American version of the deadly gladiator sports of ancient Rome. The prevailing wisdom of the 70's and 80's was that when we started cheering on personal injury and death on TV civilization would be over. Well, last night the reward challenge on SURVIVOR was the most brutal thing I've ever seen on TV, and I watch THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER. Last night insurance industry actuaries around the world were wincing. MY insurance rates went up because of the gross negligence exhibited on SURVIVOR. At least in the UFC there's a trained ref on hand, and both the contenders are in shape. Last night, big beefy Joel was literally dragging poor pathetic sad gay Chet through the mud because Chad just wouldn't stand up an move. Miraculously, Chet wasn't injured (probably because he just went limp while being dragged around). Others were not so lucky, and the injury toll is clearly a new SURVIVOR record. Jonathan Penner punctured his leg and it was deeeep. Amy wrenched her knee. I think it was Eliza who is lucky to have a face after getting slammed into a tree face first. I love SURVIVOR, but just like every other show, they're desperate to "take it to the next level," and now we know that the next level is likely to be death.