American Idol R.F.D.

Few genres sound as cheesy as country music if done poorly, as evidenced by this week's AMERICAN IDOL. Simon Cowell is a grade A dickwad. He's not even amusing any more. He's just plain offensive. I am so tired of him!! I hope Cara is there to replace him. She's real without being an ass.
Bring on the singin'!
Michael is still a big sexy hulk, but still as boring as a bag of rocks.
Allison can sing anything and make it sound rockin'. Still love her but not as a country singer.
Kris a.k.a. "Tender Dawg" is DELICIOUS! He can sing anything and make me want to jump his married bones.
Lil sounded great, but I just don't "buy" her as a jingoistic shill. Note to Simon Cowell, "Lil" is short for "Lillian" not "Little."
Adam looked like he had major cleavage during his interview. Is Randy Travis a kind of homophobic dick? Or was it just me? The song was a bit of a stretch, but if Grace Jones has covered "Ring Of Fire" who can't?!
Scott is still blind and still can't sing.
Alexis was a bit of a let-down. I love the song "Jolene," but her version was flat and boring. She tried to change it up just a little bit too much and lost the meaning/point of the song.
Danny: Jesus, give me a break! I like him, but I didn't like the song and I didn't like his performance (or his white Brian Fellows jacket).
Anoop ROCKS! Smooooth, sexy, and he can SING!
Megan, who should have been shot in the face after last week's song, and her boobs actually pulled off an insanely difficult song.
Matt was utterly forgettable.
Now get out there and vote, America!

Change Comes To America... n Idol

No American institution is immune to the wave of change sweeping across America under our new President Ryan Seacrest. Tonight's "Final Round" of Hollywood Week on AMERICAN IDOL was oozing change. No more weird A CHORUS LINE-like spare rehearsal studio. Now the judges lounge like kings and queens in overstuffed chairs in "The Judges' Mansion" making teens and those who the teens have passed by battle each other for a spot on this season show. The Judges Mansion?! What the hell? Do they all live there during the show? Will there be a spin-off show? Do they have "swinging" parties at this "judges' mansion"? Also, Fox should get its money back from whoever upholstered those judges thrones. Tacky and sloppy workmanship. Anyway, also new to the show this year is the "sing off" where the judges pitted contestants against each other and put them on the spot to sing a song to stay on the show. The "sing off" portion of the two hour show was the most stomach churning. Then when the judges FINALLY deliver the news, they pull that tension-building crap by stalling the delivery of the good new with a fake out, "We don't have good news for you..." The contestant is in tears and about to pass out. Then the judges all look sad and then say "...we have GREAT news for you! You're in!" Then the contestant has a spaz attack! The judging panel had a very ANTM feeling (and that is NOT a step UP for AMERICAN IDOL). They have the tough task of "narrowing" the field down to 36. 36!? That's bigger than a football team isn't it? How long is this show gonna be on?! Until next February?! Bat-shit crazy, Tatiana, is this season's Sanjaya Jaya Binks. She's a kook! Rosie O'Donnell's prodigy Von Smith made it through. Sexy, god-loving widower Danny Gokey is gonna be a "story" this season. Anoop Desai is like a gag from a HAROLD AND KUMAR movie, but he can definitely rock out. I'm also keeping my eye on social outcast and Heatherette model (in his own mind), Nathaniel Marshall. Since we've only seen about 10 of the final 36 actually sing, the next few weeks may actually get this Spruce Goose of a season off the ground (or water or whatever). Who do you like? Who do you love? Who do you hate? Can you believe that sexy-god-loving-widower's BFF weird-facial-piercings-guy didn't make it?!