Here's
I'm still looking for an image of
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE contestant Jamie Bayard getting pantsed by his dance partner in their broadway-esque hip-hop lite routine. The self-admittedly straight yet clearly gay Jamie was exposed on tonight's first live performance show. Sadly, there was no wardrobe malfunction, but we were treated to his sexy shiny briefs and massive thighs. Were the briefs spray-mounted on? One wonders. I wonder. It's worth mentioning that in typical FOX fashion, the first
15 minutes (1/8) of the show went by before the first pair took the stage for their live dance. No one can "pad" a show like FOX! And then in the "
not-padding" department, there's Mia Michaels.
GODDAMN I love her! She is exactly the kind of nut-job super-brilliant choreographer I LOVE. Her pieces are always just breathtaking. They just stop me in my tracks. All I can do is watch and absorb. I'll probably watch her piece from tonight's show a few more times before TiVo plows the show under. She is speaking a language of dance that is so personal, and her gift is being able to pass that intensely emotional feeling onto the dancers and ultimately onto the audience. Though, her brilliance comes at a price. She seems like she'd be a mega-beeeotch to work with, but the results do speak for themselves. I would
love to see an entire Mia Michaels show. Did I mention she's BRILLIANT?!
I won't bore you with a
play-by-play wrap-up of the whole show. There are still way too many contestants to keep them all straight (
pun intended) in my head. Here are a few highlights. My favorite dance piece of the show was Mia Michaels' piece with
Chelsie Hightower and
Mark Kanemura (fox!). Another standout was
Katee Shean and
Joshua Allen. I love that SYTYCD isn't afraid to "go there" with some controversial and usually anti-war and/or pro-peace messages in their choreography.
Susie Garcia and
Marquis Cunningham did a beautiful waltz. Marquis mentioned in his intro clip package that his family wasn't supportive of his dancing for reasons that sounded as if they were to blindly support a pro-masculine stereotype that dance is gay. Well, if you name your son Marquis, what do you expect?! Speaking of queer stuff, gayest outfit of the night easily goes to
Chris Jarosz. I also love me some crazy Mary Murphy! Even
she doesn't know what the hell she's talking about half the time, but it doesn't matter. And finally, to clear up any confusion, Kourtni is nothing like Courtney who is nothing like Chelsie nor Chelsea.
Jamie "Look At M'balls!" Bayard was the first guy sent home from SYTYCD 4 last night. His hip-hop was weak, but two things that Nigel "Look At M'teeth!" Lythgoe --the show's judge and executive producer (the guy who is in charge of everything)-- said really surprised me. He said that he thought that "America" may have been offended by Jamie's pantsing, and he also said that going first during a loooong 2 hour show is like the kiss of death. He said something like, no one will remember the first routine by the end of the show. Well, BOTH of those reasons sound like an unfair advantage created BY the producers who could have cut the pantsing if they thought "America" would be offended. 
I also love that SYTYCD has SUCH an anti-American (government) bias. It's great! It's like the British's chance to get us back for getting them into Iraq. It's like he's saying, "America, you can't handle this show!" Anyway, the producers (and FOX's show-padding-machine) could have made the show 60 minutes or 90 minutes without so much stuff between all the performances. The contestant who sang first on AMERICAN IDOL this season was almost always in the bottom 3. I'll call it FOX-padding-syndrome. It's another example or symptom of the ever-growing storm of new millennium Quiz Show Scandal where reality game shows (shows with prizes and teams and such) have crossed the line of fair play and the only thing keeping the whole mess in check is that the desperate-for-attention contestants wouldn't dare cry foul for fear of not being invited to participate in upcoming shows and projects produced by the show's producers, dancers, choreographers, and crew.
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