B.S. Galactica: The "My Dinner With Andre" Episode

Last night on B.S. GALACTICA, the stupidest most asinine show on television this "season," Wallace Shawn and Andre Gregory (pictured left) chatted it up for an entire hour. For a "sci-fi" show, there is a LOT more "fi" than "sci" so far this season. With the rich storyline gold of finding Earth (in ruins no less!), somehow this season has drifted off into space fulfilling Seth Green's prophecy on ROBOT CHICKEN that the identities of the Cylons is simply pulled out of a hat by the producers. Last night's episode which was 99.999% exposition delivered by the weakest actors on the show revealed a LOT of stuff. Starting with... Ellen?! Really?! Sheesh! And now there's ANOTHER Cylon we didn't know about? Is this NBC or FOX? Wait, there's one more surprise! The fracking ship itself, the USS Battlestar Galactica, is now going to become part Cyclon. If I hadn't invested seven years of my life watching 3.75 seasons of this show, I'd just stop right now. I would have stopped 2 minutes into Starbuck's husband's (ex-husband's) visions. Christ on a cracker, anyone on this show who "has a vision" is suddenly the frackin' savior of the species-es. And, are there two species-es of Cylon? Or 1 or 3 or 8? No one knows! I'm SO sad to have to witness the destruction of a once-great TV show in its final 10 episodes. I hope Adama and Ellen blow each other to smithereens. Neither "race" deserves to live after last night's episode!

The BIGGEST Loser

Just when you thought no one could be more of a crazy nutbar than Vicki from last season's THE BIGGEST LOSER along comes Joelle. Joelle does not live on planet Earth. Clearly her weight is a symptom of something WAY more messed up. The WORST part is that her "partner" slash "best friend" Carla was the heaviest woman ever weighed in on THE BIGGEST LOSER and really, REALLY needed to be on the show and at the trainer-supervised ranch. Carla also really, REALLY wanted to be on the ranch. Joelle just straight-up bitch-punked her. Joelle didn't work out like anyone else on the show. She thought she was at a spa. In her mind, she was. I hope Carla comes back stronger and leaner than ever at the finale and literally kicks Joelle's still-fat ass! Joelle's supreme disconnectedness with reality was truly historic on reality TV. Joelle is up there with Willie Ames and Dustin Diamond on CELEBRITY FIT CLUB and CT on THE REAL WORLD in terms of bat-shit crazy mofos who you have got to watch out for! They will stab you in the back the SECOND you look away!

I Wonder If Christian Bale Is "Vocal" In Bed

It's easy to see why it would be difficult to stay mad at Christian Bale, though apparently a few people now have good reason.  On the set of the new TERMINATOR film, Bale had a bit of a NSFW diva-moment (see Patti LuPone one post down for other recent diva-moments). We've ALL had the kind of day CB is having, though most of us were not professionally microphoned at the time.  If Bale was shirtless at the time he was screaming profanity at me at the top of his lungs I'd be kind turned on.  Wouldn't you? And, if he was butt-ass naked, red-faced, and shouting, profanity at me I'd jump him like a pack of cougars.  I'm just sayin'. Wouldn't you?

Oh good, now there's a song and a Bill O'Reilly remix too! (ALL, NSFW.)  All hilarious!

Bill-O and Bale-o

F*ckin' Newsies!