Spawn Of The Devil: It's Pregnant Again

Oh shit! Elizabitch Hasselcoulter is squeezing out yet another bigoted right-wing nutjob from her clown-car vagina. She's pictured to the left showing how many children she plans to have. Just what the world needs! More hate and ignorance. On the plus side, she'll be off the show for a few months in August and September, but that's usually when they're on hiatus. Ugh! Watch out world, here comes another bigot-spawn!

The View: Hasselcoulter vs. Etheridge

As reported by über-blog Towleroad, Melissa Etheridge appeared on THE VIEW this week. As you know, I've stopped watching THE VIEW because of Elizabitch Hasselcoulter. Here's example #4287 of Hasselcoulter talking about stuff she has NO business talking about. Everytime she opens her mouth, hateful right-wing religious republican bullshit falls out. She's sick. Won't someone put her out of her misery?

Towleroad has all the gory details plus some more Hasselcoulter gossip.

Wiig as Hasselcoulter

SNL was out of control hilarious this week. They FINALLY did a spoof of THE VIEW. Kenan Thompson's Whoopi Goldberg was respectful yet crazy. His grandma look is priceless! He is a genius. It's alarming that Fred Armisen does a better imitation of Joy Behar than he does of Obama. And, only Kristin Wiig could capture Hasselcoulter's desperation at trying to get actual smart people to listen to her unverified Internet facts and her daily phone call tips from Sean Hannity. Girlchild, please! Ben Affleck was in like every sketch, and even for Ben Affleck he was pretty good. Does he have a movie coming out? Does he still have a career?

The other kinda funny sketch on the show was Ben Affleck as Keith Olbermann. It was way too long, but they got a couple of Grade A zingers in at Mr. Pompous Oblemann. Here's an excerpted preview. I think you can click on the clip to see the full-length clip and all the clips from last night's show on HULU. (Yay, HULU!)

And, then there was John McCain who appeared on the show twice. I swear to g-d it almost seems as if he wants to lose this election. I refer you to HULU.com or NBC.com from the lengthy clips, but he did NOT do himself ANY favors by being on SNL last night. He even got booed at one point.

Through With THE VIEW

(click on the photos to make them bigger) I am through watching women I used to respect being berated in a disgustingly disrespectful manner every morning on THE VIEW. Elizabeth Hasselbeck's only "claim to fame" is as a losing contestant on a reality game show as Kathy Griffin recently pointed out. Ms. Griffin goes on to say "This notion that everyone has to be quiet and listen to Hasselbeck is out of control. I am not sure why [Barbara Walters] treats her like a rock star." Which brings me to my next point. It's so difficult to watch such a pioneer in journalism like Barbara Walters be daily dragged down into the muck of Hasselcoulter's robotic Republican propaganda. Joy Behar has had to put up with A LOT during her 11 years on THE VIEW and here recent nights on CNN filling in for Larry King, but nothing has compared to the daily assault by Hasselbitch. Even Whoopi Goldberg, who is usually so well-spoken and level-headed appears to be flummoxed by Hasselcoulter's venom and machine-gun style of dominating a conversation. And, it's not that Hasselcoulter is a rabid Republican mouthpiece, it's that she's the WORST kind of rabid Republican mouthpiece and she will not shut up! E.D. Hill from Fox News (of all places) was a guest host on THE VIEW one day when Hasselcoulter was "caring" for her "children," and even though E.D. Hill is probably at least as crazy for McCain/Palin/Bush/Cheney 2008 ticket as Hasselcoulter, BUT she let the other ladies speak! She let them SHARE their opinions. It was a day of pointed conversation that didn't make me want to shoot myself in the face. It's not Hasselcoulter's views, it's her. On Friday, when Elizabitch said unequivocally that she was staying on THE VIEW, I couldn't take any more. I immediately changed my TiVo season pass to record THE PRICE IS RIGHT instead of THE VIEW. Why put myself through the daily stomach-churning frustrating disgusting display on THE VIEW when I can watch old ladies and cute frat guys win "fabulous" prizes on TPIR?! And, every Friday, I'll check out Hunk du Jour for the weekly wrap-up of my favorite TPIR hotties. Sorry Barbara Walters, but you handed your 11 year ratings Juggernaut to an inexperienced Republican robot and I'm done.

One View

I could FEEEEEEL Elizabitch Hassellcoulter seeeeething today on THE VIEW when the other ladies were --rightfully-- taking Sarah "No Experience" Palin to task for not EVER having met a foreign leader (or vice-leader). She had no comeback other than her usual broken-record Republican Robot Routine, which was squashed by the presence of Barbara Walters who was shooting daggers (and throwing facts) at her all morning. This is pure speculation, but I think that Babs has had enough! and is keeping Elizabitch on a shorter leash this season. Nevertheless, I have no shortage of friends who email me on a regular basis to tell me that Elizabeth made them want to reach into the TV and throttle her or give her a crisp smack. I don't condone violence, but Elizabitch Hassellcoulter does. I HATE that I love her outfit so much.

Are You There God, It's Me Elizabitch Hassellcoulter

PLEASE LET THIS BE TRUE!!! Deliciously pink blog Pop Crunch (Mmmm, crunchy!) reports, "The good news is Elisabeth Hasselbeck may be leaving The View. Unfortunately, the conservative pyscho isn’t leaving the country." They go on to say that Elizabitch is unhappy at THE VIEW (gee, how could you tell?!) and that FOX has been throwing offers at her. GO! GO, ELIZABETH, GO! Go where no on cares that you are a brainless mouthpiece for Karl Rove and Dick Cheney. Elizabitch Hassellcoulter's replacement could be Margaret Cho, Chelsea Handler, Kathy Griffin, John McCain's daughter (who is a Republican, but not a republican tool), or even Ashley F#cking Tisdale as long as Elizabitch hits the pavement and SOON! It's easy to see from the photo why FOX is so interested in her. Bill O'Reilly can NOT wait for the office Holiday --ahem!, I mean office Christmas party.

New This Season on THE VIEW

One of the exciting new additions to this 12th season of THE VIEW is that
over the summer Whoopi, Joy, & Barbara were apparently freebasing Boniva and grew a spine! At least for the first two days of the season, those three ladies have been on Elizabitch Hassellcoulter like wild and long-grain on rice! Every time Elizabitch tries to pull the "Palin has more experience than Obama" bullsh#t line, the three ladies jump on her like a pack of wild cougers. Hasselcoulter has tried at least half a dozen times in two days to spread the Republican talking point that Palin is more experienced than Barack Obama, which is utter CRAP. Anyone with a high school education should be able to read the facts. Also, I couldn't believe that Elizabitch had the nerve to say right to Barbara Walters' face that Barbara was disparaging and disrespecting working mothers by simply ASKING if Sarah Palin could share her plan for raising 5 children, one of whom has Downs Syndrome and one of who is an unwed pregnant minor. I'd sure like to know how Palin plans to raise 5 children if McCain wins and then kicks the bucket and she is President (god forbid either has the chance to do either). Barbara Walters has been working 24 hours a day 7 days a week for 70 years, and Elizabitch is going to question HER on parenting issues?! Sherri Sheppard is still a loose cannon of ignorance and immaturity (at age 40) who will fuel Hasselcoulter's fire for hatred and misinformation this season. Plus, the ladies are just back from a loooong vacation, and I hope that Elizabitch doesn't wear them all down like she did last season. By the end of last season, no one could say anything to Elizabitch with her going on a "John MCain is the saviour of our country" diatribe (for 5 minutes). It so obvious that Elizabitch gets a script from the RNC every morning and she just parrots that script no matter what anyone else at the table has to say. This season, for the FIRST time, the ladies are not letting Hasselcoulter get away with her propaganda and lies. Both Whoopi and Barbara did more to try to stop her today than I've ever seen before. So, GOOD JOB ladies, but I don't know how much more I can take. It's like watching a really bloody boxing match every morning.Here is a chilling example of what Elizabitch Hasselcoulter's world would look like if John McCain wins in November.

Elizabitch Hasselbitch Countdownbitch Bitch Bitch Bitch

America, you only have TWO more days to enjoy your life before the Walt Disney Corporation unleashes Elizabitch Hasselcoulter --the even more evil twin sister of Anne Coulter-- on your morning television Tuesday. After a lengthy and glorious break from her non-stop Republican-robot talking-points, she'll be back "live" on Tuesday with another season of her talking out of her ass about stuff she has no business even talking about. I remain astounded that even Fox News is scared of Anne Coulter, yet Disney embraces and promotes the foul lies and downright propaganda of a Republican right-wing nut job like Elizabeth Hasselbeck. Enough, ABC/Disney! Pull the plug on this broken Republican record.

Weekly BITCHCON Wrap-Up

For all (three) of you out there in the Ether, here's my weekly wrap-up of Elizabitch Hasselcoulter's "antics" on THE VIEW. When will ABC pull the plug on this Anne Coulter wanna be?!

MONDAY
Her holier-than-thou attitude about Bernie Mac pissed me off because once again, Elizabitch was talking out of her ass. With THREE stand-up comediennes on the co-host panel, SHE is the "expert" and "final answer" on the issue of a comedian crossing the line. Then later, when the conversation turned political, the robot Republican Coulter-parrot started up again, "John McCain!" John McCain!"

TUESDAY
Hasselcoulter sends the BITCHCON soaring with just the sight of her hideous dress alone, but then she nudges it up to 4 by whining. Boo hoo you rich white bigot! BRAVO to Joy and Whoopi for mocking her openly to her face.

WEDNESDAY
Ever notice how the BITCHCON meter drops at least 1-2 levels when Barbara is sitting next to Hasselcoulter? Maybe on the days the reanimated corpse of Barbara Walters is in cold storage they could sit a cardboard cutout next to Elizabeth to shut her up.

THURSDAY
And then the very next day, my theory is blown to shit because Barbara was sitting right next to Hasselcoulter when she melted down and cried. In a show where Sherri Shepard called a white Barbie (the doll) a "ho" it was all hands on deck! And in Elizabitch's weakened --almost human-- state, she aaaalmost listened to what Whoopi had to say about growing up as a black woman in America instead of acting like SHE was the "final answer" on racism and contradicting her. Whoopi must have spat the N-Bomb at Elizabeth at least 6 times. In her FACE! Loved it. And, Elizabeth cried, so I was happy. By the time they finally got around to talking about S & M Barbie, though Whoopi was over the whole show and said when they other ladies (mostly Elizabeth and Barbara) cut her off she said, "I'm gonna let it go because you guys don't know what I'm talking about [personal sexual freedom] and it's a waste of time!" So, Whoopi finally admitted that it's pointless to watch THE VIEW.

FRIDAY
Everyone was too exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster of Thursday to raise much fuss today. Don't forgt to check out hunk-du-jour for the weekly wrap-up of THE PRICE IS RIGHT hot guy contestants that I missed while I was watching ELIZABETH'S VIEW on ABC.

Shut the f*ck up, Elizabeth Hasselbeck!

I'm done! Joy AND Whoopi tried their BEST today to shout down Elizabitch Hasselcoulter, and she is just unstoppable. That was just the first 15 minutes! I quit. Good luck with THE VIEW, "ladies."

The Price Is Sexy

As previously mentioned, my patience with Elizabitch Hasselcoulter on THE VIEW is running short. I just can't take another week of her robotic Republican screeching. Currently, she's sharing her hateful rhetoric between two Democratic primary candidates, but once a Democratic candidate is selected, her full freaked out focus will be to daily BASH the candidate. I don't need to witness that, especially when THE PRICE IS RIGHT has so much to offer in the same timeslot. Also-Seattle-based blog Hunk du Jour offers you a handy weekly wrap-up of all the hotties on TPIR. Super huge thanks to Chris at HduJ for allowing me to use the images on this post to illustrate my point. Credit for the images goes to to CBS & the very talented Brandon from Hunk du Jour. Why am I watching a table full of old women fight with one juvenile, naive Republican rabble-rouser when I could be watching frat boys win spice racks!? Stay tuned on Monday to see if I can stay away...

Christmas Came Early To THE SECTIONAL!

BITCHCON ZERO! BITCHCON ZERO! Something was blessedly absent from THE VIEW today, Elizabitch Hasellcoulter's big fat mouth! They claimed her excuse was a "sick kid" which everyone knows means 3 day weekend. Or, maybe she got taken out to the woodshed for her unconscionable behavior over the past few weeks. Whatever the reason, I thoroughly enjoyed the back and forth during hot topics this morning. It was great to hear from Whoopi (for a change). She was serious and funny and got a chance to bounce ideas off all 3 other women on the panel. They all even made fun of Elizabeth while they were talking about how gas prices and the federal debt had doubled under Dictator Bush's reign. Why can't every day be like this?!

Where's Whoopi?!

Where is the Whoopi Goldberg we all loved and knew? She's not the Whoopi Goldberg who's co-hosting THE VIEW this season. I have loved Whoopi for as long as I can remember. I support her. I respect her intelligence and I value her honesty. I stopped buying ALL Slim-Fast products when they fired her for a political ant-Bush joke. I wrote them an angry letter and shredded the coupons they sent in response. I thought she was unfairly trashed for her turn at hosting The Oscars. We'll look back one day and see that she worked that show for all it was worth and did some funny bits that were lost in the shuffle. I was damned excited when Whoopi began guest hosting THE VIEW. She was a natural. Whoopi's done stage, movies, radio, and TV. She KNOWS her way around "the biz." And, she's a fighter who isn't afraid to "bring it." She had a late night talk show in the 90's that ran for 200 episodes. On one episode Whoopi said to a former KKK leader who was at the time head of WAR, the White Aryan Resistance: ''So, let me get this straight, you think nonwhites should be strongly encouraged to have abortions, and whites should not.'' Metzger nodded "yes." Goldberg smiled warmly, said in a low voice, ''Somethin' to think about'' and then went to commercial. I can't believe that a woman who would have a KKK/WAR leader on her talk show can't take on Elizabitch Hasselcoulter. Maybe it's because she's old now. She just doesn't have the energy to look that screaming blond harpy in the face and shout her back down. Rosie did, and it almost killed her. I hoped Whoopi could bring even more "weight" to the table when she joined the show, but she can't compete with the blond monster at the end of the table. It's also becoming more clear that when Barbara is there, Elizabeth shuts her Republican robot pie-hole, and when Barbara's not there, she takes EVERY opportunity to pick a fight with Whoopi and occasionally Joy and Sherri. Whoopi, I know you're not reading this and that no one you know is reading this, but I hope that somehow you find your balls again and that you metaphorically stomp Elizabeth Hasselbeck into the ground. I want to see her cry, and I want you to laugh when she cries and then cut to a commercial. And, when you come back... no more L'il Annie Coultergeist on THE VIEW.

BITCHCON 5

Happy Monday, America. Elizabeth Hasselcoulter is quoting polls and surveys about black people to Whoopi and Sherri again telling them what they think. She just can not be wrong. And as soon as she gets backed into that illogical Republican corner, she comes out swinging, "John McCain! Reverend Wright! Bush is Lord! White power!" I'm ONE week from giving up on THE VIEW and switching over to THE PRICE IS RIGHT. Watching "Hot Topics" on THE VIEW is more and more like watching Fox News starring Elizabeth Hasselcoulter.

BITCHCON 5

Whenever Barbara is away, Elizabitch goes ballistic. Today was no different. She just had to START the show by once again showing what an uptight racially insensitive bitch she is. At least Whoopi tried harder to take Elizabitch to task before Elizabitch just started shouting her down. People treat Anne Coulter like a psychotic social pariah and they give Elizabeth Hasselcoulter 10 minutes every morning on Disney/ABC to spout and shout her offensive, hate-filled Republican robot rhetoric.

Elizabeth Hasselcoulter

Am I seeing double? Or triple? Cindy McCain, Elizabeth Hasselcoulter, and the reanimated corpse of Barbara Walters looked like a crazy fun house mirror reflection of one bleached out mid-west christian lady.

Did she really bring up that John McCain is a really good COOK?! After a week of recipe plagerism controversy?! Then later when Elizabeth gently raised the subject of the stolen recipes the McCain campaign posted as Cindy's family recipes, C McC spun the softball question into an advertisement for her forthcoming book.

Later we were treated to crazy Elizabeth's song about taking away all of her kid's security blankets and making up some story about the binky fairy. Maybe the binky fairy can come with an exit strategy for Iraq. Her kid is only 3 years old by the way. I had a blanket until I was like 14. Not all the time, but I gave it up when I was ready --not when my mother was ready. And, not when I was 3.

Elizabeth sucked up to Barbara so hard it's a wonder she didn't pass out when she was talking about Barbara's upcoming memoirs (which THE VIEW ladies apparently all have a copy of) which lead to another softball question about what was your hardest challenge. Blah blah blah.

It was almost more than I could bear. She dressed like Cindy McCain. She told a story about making her 3 year old cry for 3 days. But, because she kept her Republican robot rhetoric in her pants for most of the day, I'm only rating today Bitchcon 4. No one is more surprised than me. (Click on the Bitchcon icon to enlarge the image.)

Oh! And what a shock that for the 2nd time in a row on a "big political day" on THE VIEW Sheri "Flat Earth" Shepard wasn't on the show. You'll recall that Ms. Shepard missed John McCain day on THE VIEW too. Coincidence? You tell me...

Blah Blah Blah

I wasn't really paying attention to today's THE VIEW, but I have to give Elizabeth props for
not asking Jenna Jameson some insane Christian propaganda question. I also have to say that Ms. Jameson came across GREAT! She has such a positive attitude and realistic world view. The clip from her "mainstream" film, ZOMBIE STRIPPERS was actually hilarious. What a day! Kim Cattrall and Jenna Jameson!

You're right, Elizabeth. About EVERYthing.

Everyone was in such a lather today that Elizamonster barely got a pauseless-tirade in today. Go, Whoopi! Go! Whoopi had a few pauseless-tirades which I QUITE enjoyed today!

Duck and cover!

Who didn't Elizabitch try to shout down today?! She got into it with Joy, "John McCain! Reverend Wright! John McCain! Reverend Wright!" She got into it with Whoopi, "John McCain! Reverend Wright! John McCain! Reverend Wright! John McCain! Reverend Wright! John McCain! Reverend Wright! John McCain!" All morning. Every segment, "Reverend Wright! John McCain! Reverend Wright! John McCain! Reverend Wright! John McCain! Reverend Wright!" This has REALLY got to stop!

Barbara Walters, are you reading this? Reel in that Anne-Coulter-on-Prozac nightmare, Elizamonster Hasselbitch. She's intollerable. Today really reminded me of the altercation that drove the usually unflappable Rosie O'Donnell from the show. How many wonderful, strong women will Elizabeth drive away with her shouting righteousness?!

McCain on The View

No one was more surprised than me that Elizabeth was on her best behavior today. And, I have to say that John McCain seemed to answer questions pretty straight forwardly. I didn't feel like he was trying to "redirect" too much. I still don't believe that McCain will "get" Osama Bin Laden. I do believe he would continue the horrific slide backward into the Middle Ages that Bush started America on in 2000. Despite his litany of areas where he claims to disagree with Bush. I think it's their similarities that worry me. I thought that Whoopi and Joy both asked really good personal questions, but let me off a little bit easy on his answers about womens rights and his vote against a national MLK day holiday.