Spawn Of The Devil: It's Pregnant Again

Oh shit! Elizabitch Hasselcoulter is squeezing out yet another bigoted right-wing nutjob from her clown-car vagina. She's pictured to the left showing how many children she plans to have. Just what the world needs! More hate and ignorance. On the plus side, she'll be off the show for a few months in August and September, but that's usually when they're on hiatus. Ugh! Watch out world, here comes another bigot-spawn!

Elizabitch Hasselcoulter, Shut The F#ck Up!

For the second day in a row, Elizabitch Hasselcoulter has strained SO hard to link Barack Obama to terrorism that you can see her starting to crack. Even Barbara Walters is at the end of her rope. Elizabeth Hasselcoulter's EXTREME (lie soaked) "view" does not belong on THE VIEW. G-d only knows what she'll be like tomorrow after the next debate! I'm scared. Will someone hold me?

Bitchcon meltdown!

Monday morning, Elizabitch Hasselcoulter almost imploded defending McCain and McPalin after the train wreck of a (wink) debate last week. Her frustration at having ALL three other women on THE VIEW jump down her throat was palpable and may have registered on Bitch-O-Meters worldwide.

One View

I could FEEEEEEL Elizabitch Hassellcoulter seeeeething today on THE VIEW when the other ladies were --rightfully-- taking Sarah "No Experience" Palin to task for not EVER having met a foreign leader (or vice-leader). She had no comeback other than her usual broken-record Republican Robot Routine, which was squashed by the presence of Barbara Walters who was shooting daggers (and throwing facts) at her all morning. This is pure speculation, but I think that Babs has had enough! and is keeping Elizabitch on a shorter leash this season. Nevertheless, I have no shortage of friends who email me on a regular basis to tell me that Elizabeth made them want to reach into the TV and throttle her or give her a crisp smack. I don't condone violence, but Elizabitch Hassellcoulter does. I HATE that I love her outfit so much.

Are You There God, It's Me Elizabitch Hassellcoulter

PLEASE LET THIS BE TRUE!!! Deliciously pink blog Pop Crunch (Mmmm, crunchy!) reports, "The good news is Elisabeth Hasselbeck may be leaving The View. Unfortunately, the conservative pyscho isn’t leaving the country." They go on to say that Elizabitch is unhappy at THE VIEW (gee, how could you tell?!) and that FOX has been throwing offers at her. GO! GO, ELIZABETH, GO! Go where no on cares that you are a brainless mouthpiece for Karl Rove and Dick Cheney. Elizabitch Hassellcoulter's replacement could be Margaret Cho, Chelsea Handler, Kathy Griffin, John McCain's daughter (who is a Republican, but not a republican tool), or even Ashley F#cking Tisdale as long as Elizabitch hits the pavement and SOON! It's easy to see from the photo why FOX is so interested in her. Bill O'Reilly can NOT wait for the office Holiday --ahem!, I mean office Christmas party.

Elizabitch Hasselbitch Countdownbitch Bitch Bitch Bitch

America, you only have TWO more days to enjoy your life before the Walt Disney Corporation unleashes Elizabitch Hasselcoulter --the even more evil twin sister of Anne Coulter-- on your morning television Tuesday. After a lengthy and glorious break from her non-stop Republican-robot talking-points, she'll be back "live" on Tuesday with another season of her talking out of her ass about stuff she has no business even talking about. I remain astounded that even Fox News is scared of Anne Coulter, yet Disney embraces and promotes the foul lies and downright propaganda of a Republican right-wing nut job like Elizabeth Hasselbeck. Enough, ABC/Disney! Pull the plug on this broken Republican record.

Weekly BITCHCON Wrap-Up

For all (three) of you out there in the Ether, here's my weekly wrap-up of Elizabitch Hasselcoulter's "antics" on THE VIEW. When will ABC pull the plug on this Anne Coulter wanna be?!

MONDAY
Her holier-than-thou attitude about Bernie Mac pissed me off because once again, Elizabitch was talking out of her ass. With THREE stand-up comediennes on the co-host panel, SHE is the "expert" and "final answer" on the issue of a comedian crossing the line. Then later, when the conversation turned political, the robot Republican Coulter-parrot started up again, "John McCain!" John McCain!"

TUESDAY
Hasselcoulter sends the BITCHCON soaring with just the sight of her hideous dress alone, but then she nudges it up to 4 by whining. Boo hoo you rich white bigot! BRAVO to Joy and Whoopi for mocking her openly to her face.

WEDNESDAY
Ever notice how the BITCHCON meter drops at least 1-2 levels when Barbara is sitting next to Hasselcoulter? Maybe on the days the reanimated corpse of Barbara Walters is in cold storage they could sit a cardboard cutout next to Elizabeth to shut her up.

THURSDAY
And then the very next day, my theory is blown to shit because Barbara was sitting right next to Hasselcoulter when she melted down and cried. In a show where Sherri Shepard called a white Barbie (the doll) a "ho" it was all hands on deck! And in Elizabitch's weakened --almost human-- state, she aaaalmost listened to what Whoopi had to say about growing up as a black woman in America instead of acting like SHE was the "final answer" on racism and contradicting her. Whoopi must have spat the N-Bomb at Elizabeth at least 6 times. In her FACE! Loved it. And, Elizabeth cried, so I was happy. By the time they finally got around to talking about S & M Barbie, though Whoopi was over the whole show and said when they other ladies (mostly Elizabeth and Barbara) cut her off she said, "I'm gonna let it go because you guys don't know what I'm talking about [personal sexual freedom] and it's a waste of time!" So, Whoopi finally admitted that it's pointless to watch THE VIEW.

FRIDAY
Everyone was too exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster of Thursday to raise much fuss today. Don't forgt to check out hunk-du-jour for the weekly wrap-up of THE PRICE IS RIGHT hot guy contestants that I missed while I was watching ELIZABETH'S VIEW on ABC.

Shut the f*ck up, Elizabeth Hasselbeck!

I'm done! Joy AND Whoopi tried their BEST today to shout down Elizabitch Hasselcoulter, and she is just unstoppable. That was just the first 15 minutes! I quit. Good luck with THE VIEW, "ladies."

The Price Is Sexy

As previously mentioned, my patience with Elizabitch Hasselcoulter on THE VIEW is running short. I just can't take another week of her robotic Republican screeching. Currently, she's sharing her hateful rhetoric between two Democratic primary candidates, but once a Democratic candidate is selected, her full freaked out focus will be to daily BASH the candidate. I don't need to witness that, especially when THE PRICE IS RIGHT has so much to offer in the same timeslot. Also-Seattle-based blog Hunk du Jour offers you a handy weekly wrap-up of all the hotties on TPIR. Super huge thanks to Chris at HduJ for allowing me to use the images on this post to illustrate my point. Credit for the images goes to to CBS & the very talented Brandon from Hunk du Jour. Why am I watching a table full of old women fight with one juvenile, naive Republican rabble-rouser when I could be watching frat boys win spice racks!? Stay tuned on Monday to see if I can stay away...

Christmas Came Early To THE SECTIONAL!

BITCHCON ZERO! BITCHCON ZERO! Something was blessedly absent from THE VIEW today, Elizabitch Hasellcoulter's big fat mouth! They claimed her excuse was a "sick kid" which everyone knows means 3 day weekend. Or, maybe she got taken out to the woodshed for her unconscionable behavior over the past few weeks. Whatever the reason, I thoroughly enjoyed the back and forth during hot topics this morning. It was great to hear from Whoopi (for a change). She was serious and funny and got a chance to bounce ideas off all 3 other women on the panel. They all even made fun of Elizabeth while they were talking about how gas prices and the federal debt had doubled under Dictator Bush's reign. Why can't every day be like this?!

Through With The View

Ok, here is my 3 day countdown to turning off THE VIEW. I've had it with Hasselcoulter!
She's ruined the show for me, and neither Joy nor Whoopi can stand out over her broken record shriek of "John McCain! Reverend Wright! John McCain! Reverend Wright! Terrorism! John McCain! Reverend Wright! John McCain! Reverend Wright! Terrorism! John McCain! Reverend Wright!" Joy and Whoopi tried their best today, but Hasselcoulter still came back with, "John McCain! Reverend Wright! John McCain! Reverend Wright!" She has turned THE VIEW into a Fox News morning chat show, and Barbara Walters has got TWO days left to fix it! One --actually-- since the Friday show is usually taped Wednesday or Thursday. THE PRICE IS RIGHT here I come! Drew Carey is pretty funny, and the contestants are really what make the show. TPIR is a more positive way to start the day. Cute boys! Strange prizes! The morbidly obese! "Fashions!" And, happiness!! No fighting!! No John McCain!!

Where's Whoopi?!

Where is the Whoopi Goldberg we all loved and knew? She's not the Whoopi Goldberg who's co-hosting THE VIEW this season. I have loved Whoopi for as long as I can remember. I support her. I respect her intelligence and I value her honesty. I stopped buying ALL Slim-Fast products when they fired her for a political ant-Bush joke. I wrote them an angry letter and shredded the coupons they sent in response. I thought she was unfairly trashed for her turn at hosting The Oscars. We'll look back one day and see that she worked that show for all it was worth and did some funny bits that were lost in the shuffle. I was damned excited when Whoopi began guest hosting THE VIEW. She was a natural. Whoopi's done stage, movies, radio, and TV. She KNOWS her way around "the biz." And, she's a fighter who isn't afraid to "bring it." She had a late night talk show in the 90's that ran for 200 episodes. On one episode Whoopi said to a former KKK leader who was at the time head of WAR, the White Aryan Resistance: ''So, let me get this straight, you think nonwhites should be strongly encouraged to have abortions, and whites should not.'' Metzger nodded "yes." Goldberg smiled warmly, said in a low voice, ''Somethin' to think about'' and then went to commercial. I can't believe that a woman who would have a KKK/WAR leader on her talk show can't take on Elizabitch Hasselcoulter. Maybe it's because she's old now. She just doesn't have the energy to look that screaming blond harpy in the face and shout her back down. Rosie did, and it almost killed her. I hoped Whoopi could bring even more "weight" to the table when she joined the show, but she can't compete with the blond monster at the end of the table. It's also becoming more clear that when Barbara is there, Elizabeth shuts her Republican robot pie-hole, and when Barbara's not there, she takes EVERY opportunity to pick a fight with Whoopi and occasionally Joy and Sherri. Whoopi, I know you're not reading this and that no one you know is reading this, but I hope that somehow you find your balls again and that you metaphorically stomp Elizabeth Hasselbeck into the ground. I want to see her cry, and I want you to laugh when she cries and then cut to a commercial. And, when you come back... no more L'il Annie Coultergeist on THE VIEW.

BITCHCON 5

Happy Monday, America. Elizabeth Hasselcoulter is quoting polls and surveys about black people to Whoopi and Sherri again telling them what they think. She just can not be wrong. And as soon as she gets backed into that illogical Republican corner, she comes out swinging, "John McCain! Reverend Wright! Bush is Lord! White power!" I'm ONE week from giving up on THE VIEW and switching over to THE PRICE IS RIGHT. Watching "Hot Topics" on THE VIEW is more and more like watching Fox News starring Elizabeth Hasselcoulter.

BITCHCON 5

Whenever Barbara is away, Elizabitch goes ballistic. Today was no different. She just had to START the show by once again showing what an uptight racially insensitive bitch she is. At least Whoopi tried harder to take Elizabitch to task before Elizabitch just started shouting her down. People treat Anne Coulter like a psychotic social pariah and they give Elizabeth Hasselcoulter 10 minutes every morning on Disney/ABC to spout and shout her offensive, hate-filled Republican robot rhetoric.

Elizabeth Hasselcoulter

Am I seeing double? Or triple? Cindy McCain, Elizabeth Hasselcoulter, and the reanimated corpse of Barbara Walters looked like a crazy fun house mirror reflection of one bleached out mid-west christian lady.

Did she really bring up that John McCain is a really good COOK?! After a week of recipe plagerism controversy?! Then later when Elizabeth gently raised the subject of the stolen recipes the McCain campaign posted as Cindy's family recipes, C McC spun the softball question into an advertisement for her forthcoming book.

Later we were treated to crazy Elizabeth's song about taking away all of her kid's security blankets and making up some story about the binky fairy. Maybe the binky fairy can come with an exit strategy for Iraq. Her kid is only 3 years old by the way. I had a blanket until I was like 14. Not all the time, but I gave it up when I was ready --not when my mother was ready. And, not when I was 3.

Elizabeth sucked up to Barbara so hard it's a wonder she didn't pass out when she was talking about Barbara's upcoming memoirs (which THE VIEW ladies apparently all have a copy of) which lead to another softball question about what was your hardest challenge. Blah blah blah.

It was almost more than I could bear. She dressed like Cindy McCain. She told a story about making her 3 year old cry for 3 days. But, because she kept her Republican robot rhetoric in her pants for most of the day, I'm only rating today Bitchcon 4. No one is more surprised than me. (Click on the Bitchcon icon to enlarge the image.)

Oh! And what a shock that for the 2nd time in a row on a "big political day" on THE VIEW Sheri "Flat Earth" Shepard wasn't on the show. You'll recall that Ms. Shepard missed John McCain day on THE VIEW too. Coincidence? You tell me...

BITCHCON 11! Cindy McCain on The View

I only watched the first 45 seconds of THE VIEW, and I couldn't handle it! Elizabeth Hasselcoulter and Cindy McCain were dressed almost identically. After seeing that, and the reanimated corpse of Barbara "...but as an employee of ABC News, I'm not allowed to express my opinion..." Walters and C McC walking out arm in arm like two old ladies on their way to bingo, I had to save that mess for later on today after all my pills have kicked in.

You're right, Elizabeth. About EVERYthing.

Everyone was in such a lather today that Elizamonster barely got a pauseless-tirade in today. Go, Whoopi! Go! Whoopi had a few pauseless-tirades which I QUITE enjoyed today!

Duck and cover!

Who didn't Elizabitch try to shout down today?! She got into it with Joy, "John McCain! Reverend Wright! John McCain! Reverend Wright!" She got into it with Whoopi, "John McCain! Reverend Wright! John McCain! Reverend Wright! John McCain! Reverend Wright! John McCain! Reverend Wright! John McCain!" All morning. Every segment, "Reverend Wright! John McCain! Reverend Wright! John McCain! Reverend Wright! John McCain! Reverend Wright!" This has REALLY got to stop!

Barbara Walters, are you reading this? Reel in that Anne-Coulter-on-Prozac nightmare, Elizamonster Hasselbitch. She's intollerable. Today really reminded me of the altercation that drove the usually unflappable Rosie O'Donnell from the show. How many wonderful, strong women will Elizabeth drive away with her shouting righteousness?!

Mixed Bag of Crazy

Today was a mixed bag of crazy on THE VIEW. Because she wasn't a raving psycho throughout the entire show, I was tempted to only go to BITCHCON 4 today. But during the first 10 minutes of the show when Elizabeth was once again trying to defend "the surge" to Barbara Walters, I just could not believe how much Republican propaganda flies out of her mouth. She sounds like Anne Freaking Coulter! Her mouth just keeps moving so that nothing can get in through her ears, and she just exhausts the other panelists (and me) with her relentless parroting of the Bush/Cheney/McCain talking points. It's kind of sad this season that Elizabeth and Sheri, who are each grossly ignorant in her own way, do the majority of the talking on the show. Sheri went on and on about how "confused" she was about the pregnant man. Joy made a great point about how a lot of "normal" families raise "messed up" kids, and that it shouldn't matter if the kid has two moms, two dads, a grandmother and her transexual lover, as long as the kid is raised with love, it doesn't matter. But, Sheri wasn't having it. This season of THE VIEW is starting to make me want to switch back to watching THE PRICE IS RIGHT. At least the crazy bitches screaming on that show just won a car and aren't trying to scream a Republican or strictly Christian lifetstyle down my throat.

She's Baaaaack!

Yes, Elizabeth. Of course YOU are THE authority in a discussion comparing two black Reverends and Community Leaders and their statements about their communities over 4 decades. Can you shut up and LISTEN during ONE conversation that you have NO business even participating in?!

Whoopi and Sheri brought up a VERY interesting comparison of Reverend Jeremiah Wright and Dr. Martin Luther King. It was a new viewpoint I haven't heard during the past few weeks of intense Obama/Rev. Wright coverage. The two mens words are eerily similar 4o years apart. But, instead of discussing the fascinating new idea/topic, the entire segment was spent trying to shut Elizabitch up. It's really becoming quite sad. Elizabeth should have her own show on Fox News and THE VIEW should find an informed, educated co-host to fill Elizabeth's seat.