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We've gone fishin'!!

Happy Friday, Potatoes. Has anyone seen Neil Patrick Harris and Anderson Cooper 360 in the same room at the same time? I think they're the same person. Only kelly Ripa knows for sure. Now just put me between the two and you've got the MOST delicious sandwich on Earth.
Simon (and allegedly the rest of the judges) saved Justin Timberlake from elimination on Wednesday night's AMERICAN IDOL. Do you agree? Are you pissed? Happy? Annoyed? Angry? Post it in the comments section. Prizes may be lurking in the comments section for commenters drawn at random through Friday. Just sayin'...
Who was the creepy bald dude in the audience on Tuesday night's AMERICAN IDOL?
Any popular song on iTunes?! And no one did "I Love College"!?
Lord knows I was skeptical, but hopeful that Drew Barrymore's GREY GARDENS would be either so bad it was good or just plain good. The trailer won me over. And, I now am excited to see the movie. Anyone I know got HBO?
Mother, wife of Lian Neeson, daughter of Vanessa Redgrave, and Tony award winning-actress Natasha Richardson died Wednesday from injuries sustained during a tragic and unexpected skiing accident.
Few genres sound as cheesy as country music if done poorly, as evidenced by this week's AMERICAN IDOL. Simon Cowell is a grade A dickwad. He's not even amusing any more. He's just plain offensive. I am so tired of him!! I hope Cara is there to replace him. She's real without being an ass.
The always awesome blog Towleroad is taking an informal poll on how many people did a DVR-rewind double-take while watching last night's unexpectedly sexy episode of THE AMAZING RACE. Amazing!
The highlight of a mostly hilarious SNL this week was Kristin Wiig as Barbie on Weekend Update. Wiig continues to steal every sketch she's in. Her "dancing lady" on the HIGH I.Q. sketch was silly, but she was 100% committed to it. Brilliant! AND, I love that NBC is putting the SNL musical performances on the web. If you missed the show - because you have a life or don't have a DVR - here are my selected highlights.
One of the things that the judges say EVERY season is that there are certain performers and songs that contestants just should never do. One of the "artists" who has more songs on that list than ANY other "singer" is Michael Jackson. So, what a risky way to start the season. Luckily, this season's contestants mostly stepped up to the plate and swung hard. Sports references in an AMERICAN IDOL post? Do I have a fever?!
The opening "number" on tonight's live IDOL results show will give me WAY more horrifying nightmares than the entire 2nd season of Dexter which I JUST finished. So gooood! I wish IDOL had a serial killer component to the show tonight. I even kinda like(d) that Katie Perry song they destroyed making it all the more tragic. TRAGIC! Who does these CHEEE-ZEE arrangements?! The first actual "results" were finally given 17 minutes into the snooze-tastic show. I didn't care for Lil Rounds last night, but she was all people could talk about on today's talk shows. And, now she's in the top 12. I will say that she sounded a little better tonight, but not much. She's NO Mary J Blige. It took 9 minutes to get to the next result. Geeky Alex grasped at straws before finding out he was NOT going through to the next round. At 29 minutes into the show, they let the blind guy know he was through to the next round. I have to be honest, if he wasn't blind he wouldn't even be on the show. He's not that good. Ok, well NONE of my favorites are moving on this week. Bummer. Ok so get to the wild card details. Now. NOW! No such luck. They trotted out the "top 9" again before FINALLY explaining that the judges get to hand pick contestants to compete in the wild card show tomorrow. TOMORROW?! F#ck you FOX! How many TiVos and VCRs do you think I have?! Then the judges announced their "wild 8" (see below) as if they were handing out harvested organs to transplant patients. And, Tatiana?! Really?! Is FOX THAT desperate?!
Ryan's inane banter is just WRONG. Why would Ryan even talk to the judges on live TV? There's no reason. It seems like Ryan's orders from the producers are, "Be as obnoxious and annoying as possible." Ryan takes people who are nervous enough to pee and he f*cks with them. Then he takes a professional panel of blowhards and asks them ridiculous questions that often lead them off on pointless tangents and embarrassing kerfuffles. Can someone please tell me why I don't like Von Smith? He even reeled it WAY in -- for him -- but I still find him grating as all hell. My 2 WTF!? performances of the night were turned in by Nathaniel (so-queer-it-hurts) and Alex (so-geeky-it-hurts). Nathaniel, the gayest man on the planet, chose a
Meatloaf song?! And then the arrangement of the song was completely schizo! And THEN stupid Ryan had to go talk to his grandmother in the audience. AWKWARD! Alex tried to inject some soul into his geeky performance and only accentuated his geeky side. He sounded awful and danced like Elaine on SEINFELD. Not good. Also not good were Taylor who is NOT Alicia Keys, and Jorge who is NOT Julio Iglesias. I loved Kristen's Tracy Chapman song. I thought she was the only singer of the night who really just killed it. She made the song her own and really likable/catchy. Ju'Not's Hey There Delila was the ONLY version of that song I've ever liked. He was my second favorite even though the first part of his song put me to sleep. Lil Rounds also started off rocky but redeemed herself by the end of the song. But she didn't knock it out of the park. She bunted and then ran her booty off. The highlight of my IDOL week 3 was the release of some off-the-hook pics of Adam Lambert. I'm looking forward to next week's "wild card" round to see just how f'ed up FOX makes things. I hope the "wild card" contestants have to cage fight for their spot on the "big show."
I am too sick to blog today, potatoes. I get one cold about once every six years, and then I'm a big baby about it because I feel like I'm going to die from a little bit of sinus pressure. So, what does a sicky do to cheer himself up? One word: Liza!
My friends on Facebook shared this with me. Gay stereotypes are only funny on Friday, so I saved it until today. Kudos to the filmmaker!
Brooke "Village of the Damned" "Whitey" White (pictured with her family left) was this week's "encouraging" past IDOL loser trotted out to give the 9 losers from tonight's show hope that there is a depressing, hollow life after IDOL. Of course Brooke White was depressing and hollow before IDOL too. Where the F#CK is Ramiele Malubay?! You know I love me some Ramiele Malubay! Adam is emerging as one of my early favorites. He's a real showman like Blake Lewis and Chris Daughtry. Even if he doesn't win, this show will make him. Otherwise, there are still too many people on the show for me to keep straight in my mind. All the rest are one big blur of fake hair, fake tans, and deer-in-the-headlights eyes.
P.S. - See last night's post. I so totally called the results! :-)
Then FINALLY, almost an hour into the show, Allison came out and KILLED it. She ROCKED a Heart song, which is not easy to do. Give her a good dye-job and she could be a hit. Kris also rocked it, a Michael Jackson song no less. He did just enough to make it different without ruining the original. Megan was just OK. Matt the welder was boring and he can't move behind the mic. He looked like a hefty robot trying to dance. Jesse did a VERY karaoke version of a song that should be added to the list of songs one should NEVER sing on IDOL, "Bette Davis Eyes." You just can't make the song sound "current" and the band's lame-ass arrangement doesn't help. Kai -- who I don't remember from any show before tonight -- sleepwalked through another karaoke performance of a stale Motown hit. I didn't care for him or his stealing the haircut I had in 1991. Zzzzz. I wanted to like Mishavonna, but her song choice was lackluster to say the least. She just didn't shine. And then there was Adam Lambert -- aka Mr. Musical Theatre -- who chose to sing a Rolling Stones song, "Satisfaction." And like Constantine Maroulis risen from the grave, Adam kinda rocked it in a very good over-the-top performance. It was pretty good over all, though. It was the second most entertaining performance of the night after Nick and Norman. Paula wanted to lay Adam down and make sweet love to him on the stage. (Maybe Randy did too.) It's pretty clear that the producers arrange the performances based on their rehearsals. Who did you like? Who did you hate? Who will keep you up at night?

And even the Academy joked. This was the funniest part of a pretty funny show.
I couldn't find a great photo of Lance Black or Sean Penn, but MILK's wins touched my heart. Kate Winslet also deserved this Oscar sooooo bad that I was thrilled for her win.
These photos are from a STUNNING collection by the AP. See all the incredible pics here.
Or how George W. Bush, Alan Greenspan, and a bunch of greedy millionaires and billionaires bilked this country out of our future.
Pam, Richie, and Amanda (and about 32 pounds of silicone) send kisses and blessings upon your Fierce Friday! Get out there and show the world your inner Amanda, or Pam, or Richie.
Wednesday night's IDOL can be summed up in one word: ugh. It was a random whirl of commercialism with commercials. The AMERICAN IDOL EXPERIENCE at MGM/Disney in Florida!? I'm scared. Wednesday night's show was padded with faux FOX drama to the bursting point. Padding included losing contestants from last season, maybe as a way to say to tonight's losers, "See if you're nice to the producers, you may be able to milk this 15 minutes for a few more seconds." How does the whole wild card show work? Will Tatiana get yet another chance to show America her strong Latina side? Will Anoop who was narrowly beat out by deeply ingrained American racism be invited back for another chance? Who IS eligible for that? We'll find out...
AMERICAN IDOL's first live show of the season was a technical and production nightmare. What a MESS! It speaks to Seacrest's talent as a show host that he's so easily able to roll with the punches. It got so bad at one point that a crew member could be heard shouting live on TV at Ryan, "Go to package! Go to package!" Despite the train wreck going on behind the scenes and in the audio booth, MOST of the contestants brought their "A" game. We'll see how Thursday night's show goes. It's on on the East Coast right now. But, let's gawk at Tuesday night's pileup. The musical arrangements are once again totally awful! The karaoke arrangements played by the invisible band don't help the contestants who are verging on karaoke performances. The band sounds like a cheap-ass back-up band at a wedding, bar mitzvah, or other budget celebration. A glassy-eyed Paula Abdul dripping in her own jewelery designs (available on HSN.com) delivered some bad news on Tuesday night, so all the judges got in a few punches. A few of of the contestants even deserved their lumps.
I haaated Stevie Wright who butchered a Taylor Swift song. Is that like pooping on poop? She rushed through the song like she had someplace to be. And when Ryan Seacrest throws you a full-on pity party in the "red room" you know your days are numbered. Also awful was Brent Keith's half-hearted "Hicktown" attempt at grabbing the hick vote. I didn't hate Casey Carlson the first time I watched her sing "Every Little Thing HE Does is Magic" by the Police. It could be a pop single in Europe, but the more I thought about it (and watched it again) it seemed like an admission that she didn't really have any knowledge of musical history. I'm old. Sue me. My favorites were (in no particular order) Anoop's Monica cover (sooo sexy!), Stephen Fowler's "Rock With You" which the judges haaaated, Sexy religious widower Danny sang the F#CK out one of my favorite songs, and even Tatiana was good. When did she become a strong (sane) Latina?! She could actually sing, but it did seem like she was a completely different person. How do you solve a problem like Tatiana? FOX made her look like an unholy freak of nature in the pre-taped summer auditions, and then the judges are surprised when Tatiana reels it in and presents herself a bit more professionally?! Humph! So let's see what happens on Wednesday, potatoes!
I LOVE me some Joy Philbin. As much as I love Kelly, I wish Joy would co-host more often. Joy Philbin is a breath of fresh air on TV. She and Regis are so comfortable in front of the camera that anything goes. It makes for very exciting television, especially in the morning. No matter how bat-shit crazy Kathie-Lee Johnson Gifford gets on the 15th hour of the TODAY SHOW, Regis and his old lady have got her beat by a MILE in the entertainment category. Joy co-hosted on today's LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY. You can watch the hilarious host-chat online.
This Saturday's episode of SNL was inexplicably lame. Though, to be honest, I can't point at any one thing. I mean, obviously, I hate Jonas Brothers more than anyone else in music ever. They are just SO bad. In a show with Alec Baldwin, Cameron Diaz, and Dan Akroyd I'm not sure how the show just laid there gasping for breath. I love the Vincent Price Show spoofs. Tonight,
Liberace was the best, but Alec Baldwin did a scarily subtle and brilliant Dick Burton. The show was occasionally clever. I also still do not care for Weekend Update with Seth Meyers. Looooorne, Wiig me!!
Last night on B.S. GALACTICA, the stupidest most asinine show on television this "season," Wallace Shawn and Andre Gregory (pictured left) chatted it up for an entire hour. For a "sci-fi" show, there is a LOT more "fi" than "sci" so far this season. With the rich storyline gold of finding Earth (in ruins no less!), somehow this season has drifted off into space fulfilling Seth Green's prophecy on ROBOT CHICKEN that the identities of the Cylons is simply pulled out of a hat by the producers. Last night's episode which was 99.999% exposition delivered by the weakest actors on the show revealed a LOT of stuff. Starting with... Ellen?! Really?! Sheesh! And now there's ANOTHER Cylon we didn't know about? Is this NBC or FOX? Wait, there's one more surprise! The fracking ship itself, the USS Battlestar Galactica, is now going to become part Cyclon. If I hadn't invested seven years of my life watching 3.75 seasons of this show, I'd just stop right now. I would have stopped 2 minutes into Starbuck's husband's (ex-husband's) visions. Christ on a cracker, anyone on this show who "has a vision" is suddenly the frackin' savior of the species-es. And, are there two species-es of Cylon? Or 1 or 3 or 8? No one knows! I'm SO sad to have to witness the destruction of a once-great TV show in its final 10 episodes. I hope Adama and Ellen blow each other to smithereens. Neither "race" deserves to live after last night's episode!
As I've mentioned before, I worship the videotape Jeanne Moos of CNN walks on! Here's another dry comment on the insanity that is our world. Congratulations Angelina Jolie, you now have the most famous stalker since Jodie Foster. Yikes! Joan Rivers said today on THE BONNIE HUNT SHOW while talking about Octomom's denial of having plastic surgery that, "She should have those lips sewn shut" gesturing to her face, "and THOSE lips sewn shut too!" gesturing to her vajayjay. She went on to say that the only other woman to have 8 people inside her was Paris Hilton. Now on to Jeanne Moos...
Now in its 52nd season on stick-in-the-mud network CBS, SURVIVOR has become TV's ultimate survivor. The only reason to watch early episodes each season is for Jeff Probst's snippy remarks to the shell-shocked, filthy, starving contestants. The show's original mind-numbing predictability has given way to a throw-the-chessboard-into-the-air chaos each episode with completely erasing the lines of the game. SURVIVOR continues to feel very planned-out. I guess you have to plan pretty carefully to take a couple hundred people to the Tocantins for 60 days or so. I'm sure it would ruin the "magic" but I would love to see a behind-the-scenes season of SURVIVOR and/or a behind-the-scenes season of THE AMAZING RACE. The shows themselves have become pretty boring, but I sure would love to see each episode followed by a "how'd they did it" hour. Along those lines, the Probster, is blogging on EW.com about this season. Check it out.


Elaine Stritch is playing "Royce" in "Royce: The Musical!" featuring the hit song "Quando Quando." Coming to a screen (of some sort) near you.