Nine

Any popular song on iTunes?! And no one did "I Love College"!?

Anoop - Usher dressed as Michael Jackson singing like Kayne West.

Megan - Lauren Hill who hates whitey as sung by whitey. Awful.

Gokey - Killed it.

Allison - Perfect. Just a dash of Pat Benatar.

Scott - Still blind. Still cannot sing. AND I hate HATE Billy Joel.

Matt Timberlake - Uh oh. Bad.

Lil - The best! + Ryan threw her a life raft by kidnapping her daughter and selling her to Randy.

Adam - Liza Minnelli is BACK, baby!
Kris - Hot but boring.

Scott, Megan, or even Anoop could go this week. Anyone else and I'm gonna be pissed!

Grey Gardens: The Movie (No, not that one. Or that one. Not the musical.) It's on HBO.

Lord knows I was skeptical, but hopeful that Drew Barrymore's GREY GARDENS would be either so bad it was good or just plain good. The trailer won me over. And, I now am excited to see the movie. Anyone I know got HBO?
LOVE the accents!

Natasha Richardson: 1963-2009

Mother, wife of Lian Neeson, daughter of Vanessa Redgrave, and Tony award winning-actress Natasha Richardson died Wednesday from injuries sustained during a tragic and unexpected skiing accident.

American Idol R.F.D.

Few genres sound as cheesy as country music if done poorly, as evidenced by this week's AMERICAN IDOL. Simon Cowell is a grade A dickwad. He's not even amusing any more. He's just plain offensive. I am so tired of him!! I hope Cara is there to replace him. She's real without being an ass.
Bring on the singin'!
Michael is still a big sexy hulk, but still as boring as a bag of rocks.
Allison can sing anything and make it sound rockin'. Still love her but not as a country singer.
Kris a.k.a. "Tender Dawg" is DELICIOUS! He can sing anything and make me want to jump his married bones.
Lil sounded great, but I just don't "buy" her as a jingoistic shill. Note to Simon Cowell, "Lil" is short for "Lillian" not "Little."
Adam looked like he had major cleavage during his interview. Is Randy Travis a kind of homophobic dick? Or was it just me? The song was a bit of a stretch, but if Grace Jones has covered "Ring Of Fire" who can't?!
Scott is still blind and still can't sing.
Alexis was a bit of a let-down. I love the song "Jolene," but her version was flat and boring. She tried to change it up just a little bit too much and lost the meaning/point of the song.
Danny: Jesus, give me a break! I like him, but I didn't like the song and I didn't like his performance (or his white Brian Fellows jacket).
Anoop ROCKS! Smooooth, sexy, and he can SING!
Megan, who should have been shot in the face after last week's song, and her boobs actually pulled off an insanely difficult song.
Matt was utterly forgettable.
Now get out there and vote, America!

Amazing Phil

The always awesome blog Towleroad is taking an informal poll on how many people did a DVR-rewind double-take while watching last night's unexpectedly sexy episode of THE AMAZING RACE. Amazing!

Worth 1000

My personal favorite from worth1000.com. Happy Friday on Monday. Yes, that's how far behind I am.

Barbie Wiig

The highlight of a mostly hilarious SNL this week was Kristin Wiig as Barbie on Weekend Update. Wiig continues to steal every sketch she's in. Her "dancing lady" on the HIGH I.Q. sketch was silly, but she was 100% committed to it. Brilliant! AND, I love that NBC is putting the SNL musical performances on the web. If you missed the show - because you have a life or don't have a DVR - here are my selected highlights.
Wiig as Barbie:

THE VIEW sketch. Now with almost 2 women:

I loooove me some Kelly Clarkson:

BS Galactica

Dear Sci-Fi Channel and BS Galactica Producers,
I want the hours and hours and hours I've wasted watching the final 1/2 of the final season of BATTLESTAR GALACTICRAP. What in the fracking hell are you people trying to pull. You had a wealth of story lines to follow, and all it seems like you've been doing is chasing ghosts and red herrings. I almost don't want to watch the "final episode." I'm scared what kind of crap you're going to pull for the first 115 minutes of the show before ending the entire series on a mysterious enigmatic infuriating note. You've done to your series what the Cylons did to Earth. Frack you!

The Untouchables

One of the things that the judges say EVERY season is that there are certain performers and songs that contestants just should never do. One of the "artists" who has more songs on that list than ANY other "singer" is Michael Jackson. So, what a risky way to start the season. Luckily, this season's contestants mostly stepped up to the plate and swung hard. Sports references in an AMERICAN IDOL post? Do I have a fever?!
Lil - Sizzling
Scott - Still blind
Danny - Started off "cruise ship" and end up "Vegas!"
Michael - Looked sexy. Sounded boring. Zzzz!
Jasmine - Fierce and cute!
Kris - Total H.I.L.F.!
Allison - Rockin'!
Anoop Dog - Bit off more than he could chew with that song!
Jorge - ¿Qué?
Megan Joy - WTF?!
Adam - This season's Blake Lewis.
Matt - Very timerberlakian.
Alexis - Got run over and dragged behind her song. Ouch.

Maybe If We ALL Pray REALLY Hard

Imagine a word without God.

Pray that it really happens!

Getting Gay With Kids

The opening "number" on tonight's live IDOL results show will give me WAY more horrifying nightmares than the entire 2nd season of Dexter which I JUST finished. So gooood! I wish IDOL had a serial killer component to the show tonight. I even kinda like(d) that Katie Perry song they destroyed making it all the more tragic. TRAGIC! Who does these CHEEE-ZEE arrangements?! The first actual "results" were finally given 17 minutes into the snooze-tastic show. I didn't care for Lil Rounds last night, but she was all people could talk about on today's talk shows. And, now she's in the top 12. I will say that she sounded a little better tonight, but not much. She's NO Mary J Blige. It took 9 minutes to get to the next result. Geeky Alex grasped at straws before finding out he was NOT going through to the next round. At 29 minutes into the show, they let the blind guy know he was through to the next round. I have to be honest, if he wasn't blind he wouldn't even be on the show. He's not that good. Ok, well NONE of my favorites are moving on this week. Bummer. Ok so get to the wild card details. Now. NOW! No such luck. They trotted out the "top 9" again before FINALLY explaining that the judges get to hand pick contestants to compete in the wild card show tomorrow. TOMORROW?! F#ck you FOX! How many TiVos and VCRs do you think I have?! Then the judges announced their "wild 8" (see below) as if they were handing out harvested organs to transplant patients. And, Tatiana?! Really?! Is FOX THAT desperate?!

Weak 3 on AMERICAN IDOL

Ryan's inane banter is just WRONG. Why would Ryan even talk to the judges on live TV? There's no reason. It seems like Ryan's orders from the producers are, "Be as obnoxious and annoying as possible." Ryan takes people who are nervous enough to pee and he f*cks with them. Then he takes a professional panel of blowhards and asks them ridiculous questions that often lead them off on pointless tangents and embarrassing kerfuffles. Can someone please tell me why I don't like Von Smith? He even reeled it WAY in -- for him -- but I still find him grating as all hell. My 2 WTF!? performances of the night were turned in by Nathaniel (so-queer-it-hurts) and Alex (so-geeky-it-hurts). Nathaniel, the gayest man on the planet, chose a Meatloaf song?! And then the arrangement of the song was completely schizo! And THEN stupid Ryan had to go talk to his grandmother in the audience. AWKWARD! Alex tried to inject some soul into his geeky performance and only accentuated his geeky side. He sounded awful and danced like Elaine on SEINFELD. Not good. Also not good were Taylor who is NOT Alicia Keys, and Jorge who is NOT Julio Iglesias. I loved Kristen's Tracy Chapman song. I thought she was the only singer of the night who really just killed it. She made the song her own and really likable/catchy. Ju'Not's Hey There Delila was the ONLY version of that song I've ever liked. He was my second favorite even though the first part of his song put me to sleep. Lil Rounds also started off rocky but redeemed herself by the end of the song. But she didn't knock it out of the park. She bunted and then ran her booty off. The highlight of my IDOL week 3 was the release of some off-the-hook pics of Adam Lambert. I'm looking forward to next week's "wild card" round to see just how f'ed up FOX makes things. I hope the "wild card" contestants have to cage fight for their spot on the "big show."

Sicktatoe

I am too sick to blog today, potatoes. I get one cold about once every six years, and then I'm a big baby about it because I feel like I'm going to die from a little bit of sinus pressure. So, what does a sicky do to cheer himself up? One word: Liza!