Fridays are my favorite day of the week. Fridays offer endless possibilities for the weekend. Fridays are when The Soup is on. I love Fridays. I love The Soup. And I love Joel McHale.
But today, today was even more special than usual. Not only was I treated to my Joel but in a brilliant promotional plug for Spaced (a Brit com released on DVD today), Simon Pegg (the brilliant star of Spaced, Hot Fuzz, and Shaun of the Dead) made his Soup debut. So despite a rather harried day, I'm feeling much better now.
I'll be watching Spaced next week - yes, it was moved to the top of my Netflix queue this morning! So stay tuned... Until then, I'll post about SYTYCD tomorrow.
Patty is on vacation for a bit so he asked me to blog in his stead. A huge undertaking if you ask me but Patty ain't heavy, he's my brother. So I said I'd give it a shot. Let's get started...
I'm already a little behind on my viewing. I'm in for about 4 hours of SYTYCD which I'll get to this weekend. Last night opted for Project Runway - not so sure I made the right decision. Don't get me wrong - I love me some Tim Gunn but I get a little exhausted trying to keep up with all the contestants on the beginning of most reality shows. Take me down to the Top 10 and I'm usually ok. This season of PR, in particular, is especially confusing because most of the contestants look alike, talk alike, and do the same stuff.
Jennifer & Leanne? Same people, right? Emily & Kenley could be in a 40's pin-up girl version of the Parent Trap. And Terry & Korto are like good twin/bad twin.
At the same time, who the hell came up with some of these names? Between the contestants and the models I'm not sure I'm in Kansas anymore: Suede, Blayne, Korto, Tapasio, Jermaine (for a girl), Xaviera? Huh?
Suede was the first featured contestant so you know from the get-go that he's either gonna win or lose. And if you've watched the show you know they ain't gonna let go of the bear with the faux-hawk yet. I'm excited when they announce cocktail dresses. This is something I can relate to - and cocktail dresses are pretty. Yaaaaay!
But after too much drama after the models picking the fabric, one use of "hot mess", Blayne (aka Malibu Ken) talking about leather (he should know - look at his skin) with Stella (um, did Keith Richards and Steve Perry have a love child?), a few people "stepping up their game", and Natalie Portman, I was left disappointed. I'm not even gonna talk about the use of green fabrics because no one on the show did either. It may have been cliche but I wish they had to do cocktail dresses out of hemp or organic cotton or something. I get that they wanted to show that green fabrics can be other things but er, they missed the mark.
My reaction to the runway went something like this: Ew! Boring! HOOTCHIE! WTF? Eh, pretty. Cheeze. Dumb! Ok. Great top - don't look at the bottom. Didn't I see that in season 2? Eh. Stupid! Whoa (in a bad way.) Humph! Did I miss something - are they doing skating dresses? Ug- um - ugly.
My favorite part was Nina's reaction to Korto's dress coming down the runway. Fins! Ha! I actually think she may have broken the botox in her face.
I agreed with pretty much everything the judges said. I didn't like Suede's dress at first but it was the clear winner coming down the runway because of how fun, different (in a good way) and well done it was. On further inspection it was pretty cute. Stella's dress was just plain cheezy but I will give her props for how well done it was. Gross, but well done. Korto's dress was awful - it could have been so good. Coulda shoulda woulda. Whatevs - that girl need to grow a thicker skin if she wants to stay in the competition. Tears?! Puh-leez.
I'm just relieved that Wesley was sent home. Terrible. Stupid short "garment", badly done, and well, he was just a tool anyway. Back to Suede: he's my favorite. Especially after the shout out to his mommy. Adorable.
What did you think of the show? Do you have any favorites?
For those of you living under a rock or 3 days behind on your TiVo watching, PROJECT RUNWAY started up again. And, despite the "most diverse" group of contestants ever, the show was a bit of a snooze. Though I usually feel that way about the first few episodes of the season. Thank GOD for Austin Scarlet. I love him. There! I said it. He's like an ever gayer cross between Charles Nelson Reilly and Charles Nelson Reilly. I suspect he may poop Gay anti-matter that could answer questions about the universe.
The cutest guy by far is Daniel Feld. Sadly, the ONLY other cute guy is Keith Bryce and he seems a little bit like a dick. My top three dresses were 3) the oven mitt pasta dress 2) the mop top outfit and 1) I loved Daniel's dress made out of beer cups. It was very Thierry Muegler. The dresses I hated included the candy dress, the veggie dress, and Jerry American Psycho Collection for Patrick Bateman by Ralph Lauren wa the worst by a MILE! Train wreck. Bye.
For all (three) of you out there in the Ether, here's my weekly wrap-up of Elizabitch Hasselcoulter's "antics" on THE VIEW. When will ABC pull the plug on this Anne Coulter wanna be?!
MONDAY Her holier-than-thou attitude about Bernie Mac pissed me off because once again, Elizabitch was talking out of her ass. With THREE stand-up comediennes on the co-host panel, SHE is the "expert" and "final answer" on the issue of a comedian crossing the line. Then later, when the conversation turned political, the robot Republican Coulter-parrot started up again, "John McCain!" John McCain!"
TUESDAY Hasselcoulter sends the BITCHCON soaring with just the sight of her hideous dress alone, but then she nudges it up to 4 by whining. Boo hoo you rich white bigot! BRAVO to Joy and Whoopi for mocking her openly to her face.
WEDNESDAY Ever notice how the BITCHCON meter drops at least 1-2 levels when Barbara is sitting next to Hasselcoulter? Maybe on the days the reanimated corpse of Barbara Walters is in cold storage they could sit a cardboard cutout next to Elizabeth to shut her up.
THURSDAY And then the very next day, my theory is blown to shit because Barbara was sitting right next to Hasselcoulter when she melted down and cried. In a show where Sherri Shepard called a white Barbie (the doll) a "ho" it was all hands on deck! And in Elizabitch's weakened --almost human-- state, she aaaalmost listened to what Whoopi had to say about growing up as a black woman in America instead of acting like SHE was the "final answer" on racism and contradicting her. Whoopi must have spat the N-Bomb at Elizabeth at least 6 times. In her FACE! Loved it. And, Elizabeth cried, so I was happy. By the time they finally got around to talking about S & M Barbie, though Whoopi was over the whole show and said when they other ladies (mostly Elizabeth and Barbara) cut her off she said, "I'm gonna let it go because you guys don't know what I'm talking about [personal sexual freedom] and it's a waste of time!" So, Whoopi finally admitted that it's pointless to watch THE VIEW.
FRIDAY Everyone was too exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster of Thursday to raise much fuss today. Don't forgt to check out hunk-du-jour for the weekly wrap-up of THE PRICE IS RIGHT hot guy contestants that I missed while I was watching ELIZABETH'S VIEW on ABC.
Remember, in November that when you vote you are trusting the planet to an old senile codger or an inexperience panderer. Why not make the right choice, the best choice for all of Earth.
Due to the heartfelt protestations of threes of people, THE SECTIONAL is back for a once-a-week wrap up.
SYTYCD - What's the point without Thayne? And then I get a "bad vibe" about Jessica leaving the show and Comfort returning. It feels TO ME like the producers realized that Jessica got a free pass being paired with Will, and decided to make a slight correction. Kinda like the Supreme Court appointing Bush instead of Gore in 2000. Gee I wonder how things would have turned out for the world if THAT B.S. hadn't gone down. We're so used to it now (after Diebold handed the 2004 election to Bush against the wishes of the people again), that we don't bat an eye when it happens on a FOX dance reality show. Anyway, as they say, on with the show...
I just have to say again that Cat Deeley looked FANTASTIC one night (blue dress) and HORRIFIC (gold dress) the other night. Can't the stylists on this show find some happy medium between whore/drag queen and Beyonce/drag queen? Click the pics for larger views.
In order, here are my favorite pair numbers: 3)Joshua & Courtney's first number which featured great choreography and HOT dancing. 2)Gev & Kortnee's second number was SUPER! 1)Kattee & Will's first number was BY FAR the best of the night. I LOVED it. Tyce rocketed to the top of my husbands list based mostly on this number (see right column). Solos: 10) Chelsie - Zzzzzz 9) Kherrington - ZZZZZZ 8) Gev - Started slow, but ended pretty good. 7) Comfort - Zzzzzz. No energy. Lame. 6) Joshua - great tricks, BUT laaaame transitions. like he walked from trick to trick. 5) Katee - not nearly as good as I was expecting 4) Courtney - BAAAAD song. Gooooood dance! 3) Will - BAD music, but good leaps. He has power, but also attitude. 2) Mark - Thayne who? Loooove Mark! 1) Twitch - BEST SOLO of the night, and I would have sent him home last week.
One of my favorite numbers from this season was the Bollywood number on the results show this week.
The Mia Michaels number with the top 5 girls was soooo beautiful, but the direction was downright shitty! It almost ruined the number for me. Ugh and MORE Celine Dion. Christ! Can we have a legal LIMIT on the amount of Celine per episode. I'd prefer the limit be ZERO, but that's just me. So, as evidenced by the fact that they were both in my personal "Bottom 3" (see above) I'm perfectly happy to see Gev and Khrerrington go home.
Kathy Griffin is actually too funny. It is possible, and it is happening weekly on her show.
BIG BROTHER 10 - Renny must die. Jesse must strip and be ridden by Gay Rodeo Racist (with or without a saddle, I don't care)! Good lord the puppet show was hilarious. There are HOURS of puppet shows on YouTube. Yay! More Jesse! I hope his HOH room has many half-nude photos of him. That dude who went home bit off a little more than he could chew. He needs to learn lesson #1 in Patty's Reality Show 101 Guide: Lay low, loud mouth!
If you live in West Seattle, be sure to stop by my soon to be growing Zombie Garden.
Coming soon: Tori & Dean & Rob & Big
Coming sooner: Project Runway (I'm busy, people! No time for TiVo -- heresy I know!)
Thanks to the threes of people who rallied to my rescue (well, tried to). Though I can't seem to muster a dozen heartfelt "we miss you"'s I'm still planning a triumphant return. I'm planning to post a weekly wrap-up to recap the crap up on Thursday after I watch the SYTYCD results show, though with no Thayne I don't know why I'm even watching. Alright potatoes... sit still for this... UPDATE 7/16: I'm working on my weekly recap. I hope to get it posted by Friday afternoon Pacific time. Keep checking back (repeatedly).
Due to (extremely) low traffic, THE SECTIONAL is closed for a little while. As long as you are here, please feel free to browse the over 165 posts about TV, pop culture, and Seattle. Visit some of my favorite blogs. There's a list to your right. Stay tuned.
UPDATE: Merde! YouTube keeps taking down Le Dallas Française! If it's available, watch it immediately as there appears to be some behind-the-scenes legal tomfoolery. You snooze, you loose. POSTE ORIGINAL: Le French Dallas. G-D damn, I love me some alcoholic Sue Ellen Ewing! EVERYONE drank on this show. No wonder the French like it so much. (NOTE: Be sure to check out the comments for the English translation.)
To get you in the mood for tomorrow's new SYTYCD episode, I thought I'd repost/update my post from last week about douche bag supreme, Nigel Lithgoe. AND, now that I've remembered my Red Lasso password, here's the clip! (P.S. - Red Lasso ROCKS!!!) ORIGINAL POST: What was up Nigel Lythgoe's "C U Next Tuesday" last night on SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE? He's one of like 3 Executive Producers of the show, which means that he gets to do pretty much whatever he wants. So then why (presumably) invite/book Robert The Popper for a SICK dance break and then act like a dick to him after his incredible performance. Robert KILLED a reTARded popping routine between elimination segments on SYTYCD (to C + C Music Factory no less!!), and then Nigel "I've A Stick Up My Royal Bum" Lithgoe proceeded to dis him and basically challenge Robert to a dance off with someone else the judges had cut before L.A. It was in very poor taste regardless of the motivations. Also, Cat Deeley's hair,make up, and wardrobe were all FLAWLESS.
" I don’t know what went on in his mind when he would go outside unshaven, wearing lipstick. It was almost like, “I don’t want to look like anybody else, I want to do this my way.” Jackie’s way had never been done before. Ronald Tavel once said, “We should always take care of our insane, because they are the Christopher Columbus’ of the mind.” Jackie Curtis certainly was that!" - Harvey Fierstein The song, "I Enjoy Being A Girl" really takes on some fascinating new nuanced meanings when sung by Jackie Curtis. (circa 1974)
God took him about 89 years too late, but better late than never which was also looking like a possibility. He was a hateful, hate-filled monster. The Earth is a better place without you, assh#le! He once said, "Nothing positive happened to Sodom and Gomorrah, and nothing positive is likely to happen to America if our people succumb to the drumbeats of support for the homosexual lifestyle."
Here's a re-post of my original posting (March 12, 2008) from Rosie's blog when Kathy Griffin came to visit wearing Carolina Herrera. Sections of the chat from the blog in question aired tonight on MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST on BRAVO. Kathy Griffin is the funniest woman currently alive. Why Chelsea F#cking Handler has a "nightly" semi-regular show and Kathy Griffin doesn't is beyond me! Kathy Griffin should have a nightly talk show on Bravo. Hello, Bravo, have you seen this clip?! Are you there, Bravo? It's me, Patty. Andy Cohen, call me! I'll produce the show! Kathy Griffin: Nightly, Bitches!
There is NOTHING but CRAP on TV lately, and I would watch an hour (40 minutes on TiVo) of this EVERY morning! More Rosie, PLEASE!
What was up Nigel Lythgoe's "C U Next Tuesday" last night on SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE? He's one of like 3 Executive Producers of the show, which means that he gets to do pretty much whatever he wants. So then why (presumably) invite/book Robert The Popper for a SICK dance break and then act like a dick to him after his incredible performance. Robert KILLED a reTARded popping routine between elimination segments on SYTYCD (to C + C Music Factory no less!!), and then Nigel "Stick Up My Royal Bum" Lithgoe proceeded to dis him and basically challenge Robert to a dance off with someone else the judges had cut before L.A. It was in very poor taste regardless of the motivations.
Did Mary Murphy inherit Liberace's closet in some bizarre chain of events and custody? Or does she just roll around in glue and then glitter just before air? Either way, I'm blinded AND deafened by her. If she could get her hands on my sense of smell --I assure you-- she would. I will NEVER speak about what Cat Deely was wearing. Except to say that if Shirley Temple, Elizabeth Taylor, and --for some reason-- Ann Magnuson fell into a blender, Cat Deely is what would pop out. Oh wait, there's dancing too!? And THIS time, the dancing started less than 5 minutes into the show and there is lots of dancing. Was someone at SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE reading my blog? (If they were they were the only ones!) Tonight's show just took OFF... for a change. With each duo doing 2 numbers, it'll be a non-stop dance-a-thon. MUCH better than listening to Adam Shankman (pictured under John Travolta) ramble on and on and on.
1st number-Jive-Zzzzz, and just OFF. I think she was off for the whole first section. They got it together, but the number never made me feel anything. The camera work was weird too.
2nd number-Broadway-Thaaaayne! I loooove you! His technique is beautiful to watch!! Comfort is getting better and better. Great choreography too!
3rd number-(Lyrical) Hip Hop-I liked the performance, but I couldn't tell you why. I didn't love it. Can someone explain to me how "Lyrical Hip Hop" is any different than "Contemporary"? Nigel was close with, "...hip hop on sleeping pills."
4th number-Jazz-Their costumes do NOT say "jazz" to me, but daaaaamn they can dance! They could have danced that number in Hammer pants and still rocked it. Mark is soooo goooood and soooo cuuute.
5th number-Paso Doble-Oops, almost dropped her. Then the capes were a mess. But after that, they certainly gave it their all. Kherington looked spookily like Sharon Stone on a diva tirade, which was kinda perfect considering how over the freakin' top it was.
6th number-Contemporary-HOLY CRAP! How does Mia Michaels DO it?! She's the best! I'm in tears. This was one of her best numbers. I have GOT to see a feature-length Mia Michaels dance show. Also, Katee is the best female dancer on the show, and Joshua isn't bad either.
7th number-Hip Hop-This piece was poorly directed and just not hot. You could see both dancers counting in their heads. Is "hip hop" a catch-all term for any dance that isn't ballroom?
8th number-Contemporary-Ugh Mandy Moore! Hate her. Very cheesy but good shirt-work. Nigel made an interesting comment about backstage "meltdowns." Is Will a big drama queen?
9th number-Smooth Waltz-The music was too "Irishy" for my liking, but I really loved the choreography and the dancers were so graceful and smooth.
10th number-Ma'am bo-It was OK, but I didn't really believe it.
11th number-Foxtrot-I love me some foxtrot. I'm glad they are doing more this year. This one wasn't as good a last week's foxtrot, but it was FUN! Fun to watch. Mark looked so damn suave and debonair.
12th number-Contemporary-Sharonstone and Twitch danced a Mia Michaels piece which wasn't as good as the first one, BUT it was still excellent. If Mandy Moore had used rose petals and a bed in a dance piece I would surely have thrown up. This piece was engaging. 13th number-West Coast Swing-Fierce number. More Benjy! I'd love to see Benjy choreography something other than swing, though. The number was good, but I missed half of it due to a thunder storm alert that lasted for like 3 minutes for a part of the area with about 5,000 people living there.
14th number -Broadway-Yikes! I thought this piece was a disaster. It seemed so "Disney Themepark."
Overall, the costuming department should be shot in the face for this weeks crazy array of costumery.
I've said it before --and I will keep saying it until every red-blooded American watches LIVE WITH ____ & KELLY every morning-- LW_&K is one of the best shows on TV. And, once again, one of the best opening host chat segments went down this morning with the super-hunky and allegedly (though repeatedly confirmed) gay, Sam Champion. As I often say, I've been watching LW_&K since 1987, and I'm pretty sure Sam Champion was the 16 year-old local weatherman at KABC where LWR&K-L taped back in the day. I've had a crush on him since I moved to NYC in 1987, and he's been a frequent guest and guest host on LW_&K. Today was a gloriously Sam-filled day with the show devolving into the final segment with the aptly named Mr. Champion in bare feet in a kiddie pool pumping a super-soaker like his life depended on it. There are no shows quite like LIVE, so make sure to check it out. Host chats are posted online daily. Sadly, Gelman, there's no web video of Sam Champion in a wet white shirt and wet jeans. This clip from GOOD MORNING AMERICA with Sam and copious amounts of Crisco will have to do for today.
No sooner had I praised GLAAD for their touching and moving awards show last week, they turned around and acted like a bunch of assholes by issuing a PRE-EMPTIVE fatwa against Mmmmorgan Spurlock for his 30 DAYS episode about same-sex adoptions and foster-parenting. Here's what GLAAD had to say, "New York, NY, June 23, 2008 - The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) today urged community members to contact FX Networks to express their concerns about a defamatory claim by an anti-gay activist that will appear, unchallenged, in the June 24 episode of 30 Days."
GLAAD, you are a big bunch of dumbasses!! I watched your whole self-promoting 2 hour patting-yourself-on-the-back awards show with all the glitz, glamour, and Candace Cane. And then you turn around and get something so simple SO wrong. The whole episode was a mess because the un-human Republican-robot-woman who agreed (for reasons still unclear) to participate was SUCH an ignorant religiopath that it was difficult to present ANY other viewpoints because hers was so overpoweringly "right" (according to Jesus). The episode turned out to be LESS about same-sex adoption and MORE about ignorant Christian right wing nut jobs and how out of touch they are with the rest of the world. GLAAD's "beef" with the show was just the TIP of the ignorance iceberg. I don't think they got her to say it on camera, but the Republican-robot-woman inferred repeatedly that it would be BETTER for young parent-less children to languish in the foster parenting system in group homes without ever knowing a warm, caring family than to live with two gay men or two lesbian women. The Republican-robot-woman was a terrorist of Biblical Cleansing at every LGBT event she attended, and then she wondered why everyone hated her and treated her like a raving BITCH. Well, honey, you ARE a raving BITCH, and you need to read a book OTHER than the Bible for a change. And, GLAAD, you need to spend your time working on the "people" who taught crazy bitches like RRW to hate. In their fatwa, GLAAD asks you to write and/or call FX and chastise them for blah blah blah... I'm emailing FX to thank them for airing shows like 30 DAYS.
Record oil prices netted Exxon Mobil a $10.89 BILLION profit in the first three months of 2008, sharply higher than a year earlier. (Source: CNN) The profit was the second-highest U.S. corporate profit on record, falling just short of the record $11.66 billion Exxon Mobil earned in the prior quarter (Q4 2007). That's over $21 BILLION PROFIT in 6 months.
profit |ˈpräfit| noun a financial gain, esp. the difference between the amount earned and the amount spent in buying, operating, or producing something
According to the Associated Press, Exxon Mobil gave chairman and CEO Rex Tillerson an 18% raise to $21.7 million this year.
The average price of gas the week Bill Clinton took office in 1993 was $1.06, and it was $1.50 when he left in 2001. The average price of a gallon of gas the week Bush took office in 2001 was $1.50, and today we're all paying $4.13 a gallon.
I was unable to locate credible information on how much stock in oil companies is owned by Bush 1 & Bar, Jeb, Mr. & Mrs. Dick Cheney, and Bush 2 & Laura.
(Scroll up or click here to find out why I now HATE glaad since I first posted this.) Didja see the GLAAD awards on Bravo? As award shows go (and there seems to be one award show a week lately) it was entertaining and moving. Scattered amongst the moving tributes and well-deserved awards were a few startling moments. Did anyone else think that Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgewick looked like Jessica Tandy and Hume Cronyn? Why can't Janet Jackson keep her boobs INSIDE her clothes? Why, Janet, why? Granted, this wasn't the Super Bowl but you are walkin' a fine line, girl. Sharon Stone(d) stopped by looking like Servilia from ROME just AFTER she'd been gang-raped and left for dead in the middle of the street. Sharon, it's a GAY awards show! Pick up the pace. Don't let your daughter dress you! The photo doesn't do her wrinkled disheveled appearance justice. She looked like she'd been rolling around on the floor and then run through a rain storm right before coming on stage. All in all, it was an enjoyable 2 hours with lots of big name stars and good production values. It would have been even better simulcast on NBC, Bravo, and Sci-Fi Channels. Just sayin'... for next year.
Why does no one do numbers like these any longer? It's difficult to say which is better for being cheesy: the effects or the song itself. Perhaps both combine to make this truly worthy of re-examination.
It is with great sadness that I must report that Dody Goodman has died. Dody was a regular on the Jack Parr TONIGHT SHOW back in the day. She was a broadway singer and dancer who staged a comeback in 1976 as Louise Lasser's mother on the TV soap opera parody MARY HARTMAN, MARY HARTMAN. After MH, MH, Dody Goodman's career gained momentum with regular appearances on TV's Diff'rent Strokes and as the unforgettable office secretary in GREASE opposite Eve Arden and a cast of thousands. She was the kind of over-the-top goofball comedienne who could steal a scene just be being in it. I love that her album is called "Dody Goodman Sings?" Ms. Goodman was only 93.
Holy crap - is it my birthday or something?
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