THE SECTIONAL

Happy Anniversary to The Sectional! (sorta)

2011-12-22T22:24:00.000-08:00

Turns out that the "traditional" 3rd Anniversary gift is "leather." The modern gift is crystal, but since we kicked meth we're avoiding that. JK.

Sorry we haven't been posting more. Work takes its toll. Patty has a tumblr feed updated often, and don't you forget about The Sectional Twitter feed!

So in honor of our sorta leather anniversary... Kirk, take it away....

Hmmm, or maybe it'll be the other way around. Good luck, Kirk.

The Real Housewife of Gilligan's Island

2010-11-04T22:53:00.000-07:00

"I don't know how we're going to explain to our friends that we spent several years with people who aren't even in the social register." Lovey

Oops! Fell Off The Grid!

2010-11-04T22:47:00.000-07:00

Do not ever buy a house! Anyway, I sold my house. It only took 5 1/2 months. I don't want to talk about it. Sorry to have accidentally disappeared. A house fell on me.

Fierce-o-Meter

2010-05-27T11:42:00.000-07:00

How fierce was Wendy today?

Check Wendy's Wardrobe Page on WendyShow.com

Two days in a row! Lookin' goooood, Wendy!

And, this just in! There's a special page just for Wendy's new wig. Definitely check it out!

Just my opinion. Agree? Disagree? Comment here and/or on Wendy's wardrobe page.

Fierce-o-Meter

2010-05-26T14:19:00.001-07:00

How fierce was Wendy today?

Check Wendy's Wardrobe Page on WendyShow.com

Absolutely fabulous today. Loooove the dress.

Just my opinion.

Fierce-o-Meter

2010-05-25T15:55:00.000-07:00

How fierce was Wendy today?

Check Wendy's Wardrobe Page on WendyShow.com

The accessories aaalmost saved the Wal*MART dress which I did not care for.

The hair was FAAAABulous.

Just my opinion.

I'm not "raggin'" on Wendy. She's a fashionista, and I wanna talk about what fabulous, gorgeous, crazy shit she's got on. Face it, it's better than my Elizabitch Hasselbitch Bitch-O-Meter, right? So comment, y'all!

Fierce-o-Meter

2010-05-24T15:34:00.000-07:00

Maybe I'm just in a good mood, but Wendy's simple but perfect look knocked it out of the park. Everything just worked today. How YOU doin?!

How fierce was Wendy today?

Check Wendy's Wardrobe Page on WendyShow.com

Just my opinion.

Fierce-o-Meter

2010-05-21T12:09:00.000-07:00

How fierce was Wendy today?

Check Wendy's Wardrobe Page on WendyShow.com

Just plain fabulous today.

Just my opinion.

Fierce-o-Meter

2010-05-18T13:41:00.001-07:00

How fierce was Wendy today?

Check Wendy's Wardrobe Page on WendyShow.com

LOVE the outfit! And, the shoes... scrumptious! I needed more from the hair. Yesterday's wig set the bar pretty high.

Just my opinion. Comment on WendyShow.com

Wendy Williams Show Fierce-o-Meter

2010-05-17T15:26:00.000-07:00

How fierce was Wendy today?

Check Wendy's Wardrobe Page on WendyShow.com

LOVE that wig! Like the dress.

Is there NOTHING Tyra Banks won't make into a jumpsuit?!

2010-05-17T02:04:00.001-07:00

Happy Anniversary To Us!

2009-12-22T00:22:00.000-08:00

Today is our 2nd Anniversary! We're still planning to relaunch in 2010! Until then, follow us on Twitter.

Get Off The Couch While We Vacuum Underneath

2009-11-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

The Sectional Blog is gearing up for a total relaunch in January 2010! Stay tuned!

Levis versus Toughskins

2009-08-11T10:56:00.000-07:00

Kathy Griffin "interviewed" Levi Johnston when she filled in for Larry King. She proceeded to verbally "date" him for 10 minutes. It is hilarious, political, raunchy, and - technically - on CNN.

I'll have some of whatever she's smokin'! :-)

Hiatus

2009-08-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

We've gone fishin'!!

The Sectional -- like MOST of TV -- is on hiatus... sorta. We're still Twittering, but it's just too darn HOT in Seattle to post full blog
posts. Plus, TV has slid into the summer doldrums. It's not pretty.

Set your Twitter to "FOLLOW" and let's micro-blog this August out like mutha! @thesectional

The Twitter feed is in the sidebar to the right too. --->>

See you in September (or October) with new posts about Ben from Ace of Cakes, Jeff from Time Warp, Anderson Cooper, Regis and Kelly and so much more!

Zombies! Where Are You When We Need You To Eat Bernie Madoff?

2009-06-30T00:01:00.000-07:00

Me and My Llama

2009-05-27T07:13:00.000-07:00

I learned a lot from watching public television as a kid. One thing that I have never ever forgotten is the Me & My Llama song from Sesame Street. The first (and only) time that I saw that segment, the song was forever burned in my brain. The nearly 3 minute interstitial has it all: an adorable little girl, a llama, a dentist, and the wild and wonderful streets of Manhattan. There is drama, there is comedy, there is music.

No one I have ever met remembered that piece from Sesame. Until now. God bless YouTube:

Happy Mother's Day! from SNL

2009-05-10T12:37:00.000-07:00

As only Andy Samberg and Justim Timberlake could wish it, Happy Mother's Day.

Make Him a Supermodel

2009-04-30T19:58:00.000-07:00

I love any supermodel show - especially Bravo's Make Me a Supermodel. Extra especially because Jonathan is on it: He's gorgeous and he's British. His only deficit is that he's married. But the fact he wore chaps and wrangled two horses while still looking this good in the photo shoot this week makes up for that fact.

R.I.P. Dorothy Zbornak

2009-04-26T18:18:00.000-07:00

The Sectional is mourning the loss of the beloved Bea Arthur who passed away yesterday from cancer at the age of 83. This old broad will be missed dearly. CBS Sunday Morning did a great feature on her today by rerunning a recent interview. Bea's character Dorothy Zbornak from the brilliant Golden Girls always reminded Patty and me of our grandmother, Mamaw. I'd like to think that they are drinking some gin & tonics somewhere together now.

What is your favorite Bea Arthur memory or character? Tell us!

Happy Friday, Potatoes! The tastiest sandwich on earth!

2009-04-24T12:14:00.001-07:00

Happy Friday, Potatoes. Has anyone seen Neil Patrick Harris and Anderson Cooper 360 in the same room at the same time? I think they're the same person. Only kelly Ripa knows for sure. Now just put me between the two and you've got the MOST delicious sandwich on Earth.

SAVED by SIMON (spoiler alert)

2009-04-15T23:47:00.001-07:00

Simon (and allegedly the rest of the judges) saved Justin Timberlake from elimination on Wednesday night's AMERICAN IDOL. Do you agree? Are you pissed? Happy? Annoyed? Angry? Post it in the comments section. Prizes may be lurking in the comments section for commenters drawn at random through Friday. Just sayin'...

Eight.

2009-04-08T02:19:00.000-07:00

Who was the creepy bald dude in the audience on Tuesday night's AMERICAN IDOL?

Gokey was Michael MacDonald

Kris was kinda like Geraldo mixed with the Backstreet Boys

Lil WAS Angela Bassett as Tina Turner

Anoop was Barry White

Scott is still The Greatest American Hero

Alison is Stevie Nicks (this week)

Matt is still Justin Timberlake

Adam Lambert is... I don't know because FOX cut him off. My AMERICAN IDOL ended BEFORE Adam Lambert's performance. That doesn't seem fair to me. Anyone else miss Adam's performance or just me?

Get it while you can! Here's a YouTube clip of Adam Lambert's performance on AMERICAN IDOL from Tuesday night. I'm am SO mad that THIS is the performance that I didn't get to see because FOX was over by about 5 minutes last night. So, if your DVR or VCR denied you this performance, enjoy it while you can...

Nine

2009-03-31T22:51:00.000-07:00

Any popular song on iTunes?! And no one did "I Love College"!?

Anoop - Usher dressed as Michael Jackson singing like Kayne West.

Megan - Lauren Hill who hates whitey as sung by whitey. Awful.

Gokey - Killed it.

Allison - Perfect. Just a dash of Pat Benatar.

Scott - Still blind. Still cannot sing. AND I hate HATE Billy Joel.

Matt Timberlake - Uh oh. Bad.

Lil - The best! + Ryan threw her a life raft by kidnapping her daughter and selling her to Randy.

Adam - Liza Minnelli is BACK, baby!
Kris - Hot but boring.

Scott, Megan, or even Anoop could go this week. Anyone else and I'm gonna be pissed!

Grey Gardens: The Movie (No, not that one. Or that one. Not the musical.) It's on HBO.

2009-03-20T09:03:00.000-07:00

Lord knows I was skeptical, but hopeful that Drew Barrymore's GREY GARDENS would be either so bad it was good or just plain good. The trailer won me over. And, I now am excited to see the movie. Anyone I know got HBO?
LOVE the accents!

Natasha Richardson: 1963-2009

2009-03-18T22:53:00.000-07:00

Mother, wife of Lian Neeson, daughter of Vanessa Redgrave, and Tony award winning-actress Natasha Richardson died Wednesday from injuries sustained during a tragic and unexpected skiing accident.

American Idol R.F.D.

2009-03-17T17:30:00.000-07:00

Few genres sound as cheesy as country music if done poorly, as evidenced by this week's AMERICAN IDOL. Simon Cowell is a grade A dickwad. He's not even amusing any more. He's just plain offensive. I am so tired of him!! I hope Cara is there to replace him. She's real without being an ass.
Bring on the singin'!
Michael is still a big sexy hulk, but still as boring as a bag of rocks.
Allison can sing anything and make it sound rockin'. Still love her but not as a country singer.
Kris a.k.a. "Tender Dawg" is DELICIOUS! He can sing anything and make me want to jump his married bones.
Lil sounded great, but I just don't "buy" her as a jingoistic shill. Note to Simon Cowell, "Lil" is short for "Lillian" not "Little."
Adam looked like he had major cleavage during his interview. Is Randy Travis a kind of homophobic dick? Or was it just me? The song was a bit of a stretch, but if Grace Jones has covered "Ring Of Fire" who can't?!
Scott is still blind and still can't sing.
Alexis was a bit of a let-down. I love the song "Jolene," but her version was flat and boring. She tried to change it up just a little bit too much and lost the meaning/point of the song.
Danny: Jesus, give me a break! I like him, but I didn't like the song and I didn't like his performance (or his white Brian Fellows jacket).
Anoop ROCKS! Smooooth, sexy, and he can SING!
Megan, who should have been shot in the face after last week's song, and her boobs actually pulled off an insanely difficult song.
Matt was utterly forgettable.
Now get out there and vote, America!

Amazing Phil

2009-03-16T08:32:00.000-07:00

The always awesome blog Towleroad is taking an informal poll on how many people did a DVR-rewind double-take while watching last night's unexpectedly sexy episode of THE AMAZING RACE. Amazing!

Worth 1000

2009-03-15T20:05:00.000-07:00

My personal favorite from worth1000.com. Happy Friday on Monday. Yes, that's how far behind I am.

Barbie Wiig

2009-03-14T21:47:00.000-07:00

The highlight of a mostly hilarious SNL this week was Kristin Wiig as Barbie on Weekend Update. Wiig continues to steal every sketch she's in. Her "dancing lady" on the HIGH I.Q. sketch was silly, but she was 100% committed to it. Brilliant! AND, I love that NBC is putting the SNL musical performances on the web. If you missed the show - because you have a life or don't have a DVR - here are my selected highlights.
Wiig as Barbie:

THE VIEW sketch. Now with almost 2 women:

I loooove me some Kelly Clarkson:

BS Galactica

2009-03-14T11:04:00.000-07:00

Dear Sci-Fi Channel and BS Galactica Producers,
I want the hours and hours and hours I've wasted watching the final 1/2 of the final season of BATTLESTAR GALACTICRAP. What in the fracking hell are you people trying to pull. You had a wealth of story lines to follow, and all it seems like you've been doing is chasing ghosts and red herrings. I almost don't want to watch the "final episode." I'm scared what kind of crap you're going to pull for the first 115 minutes of the show before ending the entire series on a mysterious enigmatic infuriating note. You've done to your series what the Cylons did to Earth. Frack you!

The Untouchables

2009-03-10T23:03:00.000-07:00

One of the things that the judges say EVERY season is that there are certain performers and songs that contestants just should never do. One of the "artists" who has more songs on that list than ANY other "singer" is Michael Jackson. So, what a risky way to start the season. Luckily, this season's contestants mostly stepped up to the plate and swung hard. Sports references in an AMERICAN IDOL post? Do I have a fever?!
Lil - Sizzling
Scott - Still blind
Danny - Started off "cruise ship" and end up "Vegas!"
Michael - Looked sexy. Sounded boring. Zzzz!
Jasmine - Fierce and cute!
Kris - Total H.I.L.F.!
Allison - Rockin'!
Anoop Dog - Bit off more than he could chew with that song!
Jorge - ¿Qué?
Megan Joy - WTF?!
Adam - This season's Blake Lewis.
Matt - Very timerberlakian.
Alexis - Got run over and dragged behind her song. Ouch.

Maybe If We ALL Pray REALLY Hard

2009-03-08T16:04:00.000-07:00

Imagine a word without God.

Pray that it really happens!

Getting Gay With Kids

2009-03-04T21:00:00.000-08:00

The opening "number" on tonight's live IDOL results show will give me WAY more horrifying nightmares than the entire 2nd season of Dexter which I JUST finished. So gooood! I wish IDOL had a serial killer component to the show tonight. I even kinda like(d) that Katie Perry song they destroyed making it all the more tragic. TRAGIC! Who does these CHEEE-ZEE arrangements?! The first actual "results" were finally given 17 minutes into the snooze-tastic show. I didn't care for Lil Rounds last night, but she was all people could talk about on today's talk shows. And, now she's in the top 12. I will say that she sounded a little better tonight, but not much. She's NO Mary J Blige. It took 9 minutes to get to the next result. Geeky Alex grasped at straws before finding out he was NOT going through to the next round. At 29 minutes into the show, they let the blind guy know he was through to the next round. I have to be honest, if he wasn't blind he wouldn't even be on the show. He's not that good. Ok, well NONE of my favorites are moving on this week. Bummer. Ok so get to the wild card details. Now. NOW! No such luck. They trotted out the "top 9" again before FINALLY explaining that the judges get to hand pick contestants to compete in the wild card show tomorrow. TOMORROW?! F#ck you FOX! How many TiVos and VCRs do you think I have?! Then the judges announced their "wild 8" (see below) as if they were handing out harvested organs to transplant patients. And, Tatiana?! Really?! Is FOX THAT desperate?!

Weak 3 on AMERICAN IDOL

2009-03-03T20:51:00.001-08:00

Ryan's inane banter is just WRONG. Why would Ryan even talk to the judges on live TV? There's no reason. It seems like Ryan's orders from the producers are, "Be as obnoxious and annoying as possible." Ryan takes people who are nervous enough to pee and he f*cks with them. Then he takes a professional panel of blowhards and asks them ridiculous questions that often lead them off on pointless tangents and embarrassing kerfuffles. Can someone please tell me why I don't like Von Smith? He even reeled it WAY in -- for him -- but I still find him grating as all hell. My 2 WTF!? performances of the night were turned in by Nathaniel (so-queer-it-hurts) and Alex (so-geeky-it-hurts). Nathaniel, the gayest man on the planet, chose a Meatloaf song?! And then the arrangement of the song was completely schizo! And THEN stupid Ryan had to go talk to his grandmother in the audience. AWKWARD! Alex tried to inject some soul into his geeky performance and only accentuated his geeky side. He sounded awful and danced like Elaine on SEINFELD. Not good. Also not good were Taylor who is NOT Alicia Keys, and Jorge who is NOT Julio Iglesias. I loved Kristen's Tracy Chapman song. I thought she was the only singer of the night who really just killed it. She made the song her own and really likable/catchy. Ju'Not's Hey There Delila was the ONLY version of that song I've ever liked. He was my second favorite even though the first part of his song put me to sleep. Lil Rounds also started off rocky but redeemed herself by the end of the song. But she didn't knock it out of the park. She bunted and then ran her booty off. The highlight of my IDOL week 3 was the release of some off-the-hook pics of Adam Lambert. I'm looking forward to next week's "wild card" round to see just how f'ed up FOX makes things. I hope the "wild card" contestants have to cage fight for their spot on the "big show."

Sicktatoe

2009-03-01T12:35:00.001-08:00

I am too sick to blog today, potatoes. I get one cold about once every six years, and then I'm a big baby about it because I feel like I'm going to die from a little bit of sinus pressure. So, what does a sicky do to cheer himself up? One word: Liza!

Happy Friday, Gaytatoes!

2009-02-27T00:34:00.000-08:00

My friends on Facebook shared this with me. Gay stereotypes are only funny on Friday, so I saved it until today. Kudos to the filmmaker!

AMERICAN IDOL RESULTS SHOW: 5 minutes of show 55 minutes of filler

2009-02-26T23:00:00.000-08:00

Brooke "Village of the Damned" "Whitey" White (pictured with her family left) was this week's "encouraging" past IDOL loser trotted out to give the 9 losers from tonight's show hope that there is a depressing, hollow life after IDOL. Of course Brooke White was depressing and hollow before IDOL too. Where the F#CK is Ramiele Malubay?! You know I love me some Ramiele Malubay! Adam is emerging as one of my early favorites. He's a real showman like Blake Lewis and Chris Daughtry. Even if he doesn't win, this show will make him. Otherwise, there are still too many people on the show for me to keep straight in my mind. All the rest are one big blur of fake hair, fake tans, and deer-in-the-headlights eyes.P.S. - See last night's post. I so totally called the results! :-)

Noel Coward's Nick and Norman on AMERICAN IDOL

2009-02-25T22:38:00.000-08:00

The 2 hour show's first watchable performance was the tasmanian devilish performance of Nick or Norman who did one of AMERICAN IDOL's most entertaining versions of "And I'm Telling You." But cha had to see it to believe it. I'd almost consider voting for him if I cared enough to pick up my cell phone which is 1 foot away from me right now. I don't. The first three performances were god-awful! Matt G butchered a Coldplay song. It was worse than karaoke. Then Jeanine did a belly flop into a Maroon 5 song. Jasmine was the least awful of the three. IDOL producers also did away with the awkward "red room" post-performance family interviews. Hmmm. Didn't I suggest that last week? One of my biggest beefs with the show is how Ryan can be kinda a dick to terrified performers about to go out and perform for the first time on live TV. Who TF comes up with the inane and unanswerable questions Ryan asks the performers and their relations?! "How does it feel to be here?!" It's indescribable, Ryan. To even try to describe it is to ruin it, so thanks for that. Then FINALLY, almost an hour into the show, Allison came out and KILLED it. She ROCKED a Heart song, which is not easy to do. Give her a good dye-job and she could be a hit. Kris also rocked it, a Michael Jackson song no less. He did just enough to make it different without ruining the original. Megan was just OK. Matt the welder was boring and he can't move behind the mic. He looked like a hefty robot trying to dance. Jesse did a VERY karaoke version of a song that should be added to the list of songs one should NEVER sing on IDOL, "Bette Davis Eyes." You just can't make the song sound "current" and the band's lame-ass arrangement doesn't help. Kai -- who I don't remember from any show before tonight -- sleepwalked through another karaoke performance of a stale Motown hit. I didn't care for him or his stealing the haircut I had in 1991. Zzzzz. I wanted to like Mishavonna, but her song choice was lackluster to say the least. She just didn't shine. And then there was Adam Lambert -- aka Mr. Musical Theatre -- who chose to sing a Rolling Stones song, "Satisfaction." And like Constantine Maroulis risen from the grave, Adam kinda rocked it in a very good over-the-top performance. It was pretty good over all, though. It was the second most entertaining performance of the night after Nick and Norman. Paula wanted to lay Adam down and make sweet love to him on the stage. (Maybe Randy did too.) It's pretty clear that the producers arrange the performances based on their rehearsals. Who did you like? Who did you hate? Who will keep you up at night?

Oh right! The Oscars happened.

2009-02-24T12:07:00.000-08:00

This was my favorite Oscars telecast in decades. Hugh Jackman was a slightly surprisingly perfect host. He sang, he danced, and he joked.
And even the Academy joked. This was the funniest part of a pretty funny show.I couldn't find a great photo of Lance Black or Sean Penn, but MILK's wins touched my heart. Kate Winslet also deserved this Oscar sooooo bad that I was thrilled for her win.These photos are from a STUNNING collection by the AP. See all the incredible pics here.

The Credit Crisis in 11 Minutes

2009-02-21T04:20:00.000-08:00

Or how George W. Bush, Alan Greenspan, and a bunch of greedy millionaires and billionaires bilked this country out of our future.

Have a FIERCE Friday, potatoes!

2009-02-20T04:20:00.000-08:00

Pam, Richie, and Amanda (and about 32 pounds of silicone) send kisses and blessings upon your Fierce Friday! Get out there and show the world your inner Amanda, or Pam, or Richie.

American Idol Live Part 2: Annoying

2009-02-18T22:54:00.000-08:00

Wednesday night's IDOL can be summed up in one word: ugh. It was a random whirl of commercialism with commercials. The AMERICAN IDOL EXPERIENCE at MGM/Disney in Florida!? I'm scared. Wednesday night's show was padded with faux FOX drama to the bursting point. Padding included losing contestants from last season, maybe as a way to say to tonight's losers, "See if you're nice to the producers, you may be able to milk this 15 minutes for a few more seconds." How does the whole wild card show work? Will Tatiana get yet another chance to show America her strong Latina side? Will Anoop who was narrowly beat out by deeply ingrained American racism be invited back for another chance? Who IS eligible for that? We'll find out...

... after the break!

American Idol Live Part 1: Messy

2009-02-18T00:33:00.000-08:00

AMERICAN IDOL's first live show of the season was a technical and production nightmare. What a MESS! It speaks to Seacrest's talent as a show host that he's so easily able to roll with the punches. It got so bad at one point that a crew member could be heard shouting live on TV at Ryan, "Go to package! Go to package!" Despite the train wreck going on behind the scenes and in the audio booth, MOST of the contestants brought their "A" game. We'll see how Thursday night's show goes. It's on on the East Coast right now. But, let's gawk at Tuesday night's pileup. The musical arrangements are once again totally awful! The karaoke arrangements played by the invisible band don't help the contestants who are verging on karaoke performances. The band sounds like a cheap-ass back-up band at a wedding, bar mitzvah, or other budget celebration. A glassy-eyed Paula Abdul dripping in her own jewelery designs (available on HSN.com) delivered some bad news on Tuesday night, so all the judges got in a few punches. A few of of the contestants even deserved their lumps. I haaated Stevie Wright who butchered a Taylor Swift song. Is that like pooping on poop? She rushed through the song like she had someplace to be. And when Ryan Seacrest throws you a full-on pity party in the "red room" you know your days are numbered. Also awful was Brent Keith's half-hearted "Hicktown" attempt at grabbing the hick vote. I didn't hate Casey Carlson the first time I watched her sing "Every Little Thing HE Does is Magic" by the Police. It could be a pop single in Europe, but the more I thought about it (and watched it again) it seemed like an admission that she didn't really have any knowledge of musical history. I'm old. Sue me. My favorites were (in no particular order) Anoop's Monica cover (sooo sexy!), Stephen Fowler's "Rock With You" which the judges haaaated, Sexy religious widower Danny sang the F#CK out one of my favorite songs, and even Tatiana was good. When did she become a strong (sane) Latina?! She could actually sing, but it did seem like she was a completely different person. How do you solve a problem like Tatiana? FOX made her look like an unholy freak of nature in the pre-taped summer auditions, and then the judges are surprised when Tatiana reels it in and presents herself a bit more professionally?! Humph! So let's see what happens on Wednesday, potatoes!

Joy Philbin Phan Club!

2009-02-17T10:00:00.000-08:00

I LOVE me some Joy Philbin. As much as I love Kelly, I wish Joy would co-host more often. Joy Philbin is a breath of fresh air on TV. She and Regis are so comfortable in front of the camera that anything goes. It makes for very exciting television, especially in the morning. No matter how bat-shit crazy Kathie-Lee Johnson Gifford gets on the 15th hour of the TODAY SHOW, Regis and his old lady have got her beat by a MILE in the entertainment category. Joy co-hosted on today's LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY. You can watch the hilarious host-chat online.

SNL: First Cough

2009-02-15T01:41:00.001-08:00

This Saturday's episode of SNL was inexplicably lame. Though, to be honest, I can't point at any one thing. I mean, obviously, I hate Jonas Brothers more than anyone else in music ever. They are just SO bad. In a show with Alec Baldwin, Cameron Diaz, and Dan Akroyd I'm not sure how the show just laid there gasping for breath. I love the Vincent Price Show spoofs. Tonight, Liberace was the best, but Alec Baldwin did a scarily subtle and brilliant Dick Burton. The show was occasionally clever. I also still do not care for Weekend Update with Seth Meyers. Looooorne, Wiig me!!
Wii Guys:

B.S. Galactica: The "My Dinner With Andre" Episode

2009-02-14T14:37:00.000-08:00

Last night on B.S. GALACTICA, the stupidest most asinine show on television this "season," Wallace Shawn and Andre Gregory (pictured left) chatted it up for an entire hour. For a "sci-fi" show, there is a LOT more "fi" than "sci" so far this season. With the rich storyline gold of finding Earth (in ruins no less!), somehow this season has drifted off into space fulfilling Seth Green's prophecy on ROBOT CHICKEN that the identities of the Cylons is simply pulled out of a hat by the producers. Last night's episode which was 99.999% exposition delivered by the weakest actors on the show revealed a LOT of stuff. Starting with... Ellen?! Really?! Sheesh! And now there's ANOTHER Cylon we didn't know about? Is this NBC or FOX? Wait, there's one more surprise! The fracking ship itself, the USS Battlestar Galactica, is now going to become part Cyclon. If I hadn't invested seven years of my life watching 3.75 seasons of this show, I'd just stop right now. I would have stopped 2 minutes into Starbuck's husband's (ex-husband's) visions. Christ on a cracker, anyone on this show who "has a vision" is suddenly the frackin' savior of the species-es. And, are there two species-es of Cylon? Or 1 or 3 or 8? No one knows! I'm SO sad to have to witness the destruction of a once-great TV show in its final 10 episodes. I hope Adama and Ellen blow each other to smithereens. Neither "race" deserves to live after last night's episode!

Happy Friday Angelina Jolie!

2009-02-13T16:20:00.000-08:00

As I've mentioned before, I worship the videotape Jeanne Moos of CNN walks on! Here's another dry comment on the insanity that is our world. Congratulations Angelina Jolie, you now have the most famous stalker since Jodie Foster. Yikes! Joan Rivers said today on THE BONNIE HUNT SHOW while talking about Octomom's denial of having plastic surgery that, "She should have those lips sewn shut" gesturing to her face, "and THOSE lips sewn shut too!" gesturing to her vajayjay. She went on to say that the only other woman to have 8 people inside her was Paris Hilton. Now on to Jeanne Moos...

Now THAT's a Survivor!

2009-02-13T15:00:00.000-08:00

Now in its 52nd season on stick-in-the-mud network CBS, SURVIVOR has become TV's ultimate survivor. The only reason to watch early episodes each season is for Jeff Probst's snippy remarks to the shell-shocked, filthy, starving contestants. The show's original mind-numbing predictability has given way to a throw-the-chessboard-into-the-air chaos each episode with completely erasing the lines of the game. SURVIVOR continues to feel very planned-out. I guess you have to plan pretty carefully to take a couple hundred people to the Tocantins for 60 days or so. I'm sure it would ruin the "magic" but I would love to see a behind-the-scenes season of SURVIVOR and/or a behind-the-scenes season of THE AMAZING RACE. The shows themselves have become pretty boring, but I sure would love to see each episode followed by a "how'd they did it" hour. Along those lines, the Probster, is blogging on EW.com about this season. Check it out.

David Letterman's Most Uncomfortable Interviews

2009-02-13T12:00:00.000-08:00

How to torpedo your career in about 5 minutes.

Farah, hand the crack pipe to Whitney Houston and step away from the TV camera!

Just ONE of the MANY reason I love Drew Barrymore.

And, here's the MOTHERLODE of uncomfortable interviews! Madonna on Letterman in 1994 dropping F-Bombs like the Taliban!

Change Comes To America... n Idol

2009-02-11T22:40:00.000-08:00

No American institution is immune to the wave of change sweeping across America under our new President Ryan Seacrest. Tonight's "Final Round" of Hollywood Week on AMERICAN IDOL was oozing change. No more weird A CHORUS LINE-like spare rehearsal studio. Now the judges lounge like kings and queens in overstuffed chairs in "The Judges' Mansion" making teens and those who the teens have passed by battle each other for a spot on this season show. The Judges Mansion?! What the hell? Do they all live there during the show? Will there be a spin-off show? Do they have "swinging" parties at this "judges' mansion"? Also, Fox should get its money back from whoever upholstered those judges thrones. Tacky and sloppy workmanship. Anyway, also new to the show this year is the "sing off" where the judges pitted contestants against each other and put them on the spot to sing a song to stay on the show. The "sing off" portion of the two hour show was the most stomach churning. Then when the judges FINALLY deliver the news, they pull that tension-building crap by stalling the delivery of the good new with a fake out, "We don't have good news for you..." The contestant is in tears and about to pass out. Then the judges all look sad and then say "...we have GREAT news for you! You're in!" Then the contestant has a spaz attack! The judging panel had a very ANTM feeling (and that is NOT a step UP for AMERICAN IDOL). They have the tough task of "narrowing" the field down to 36. 36!? That's bigger than a football team isn't it? How long is this show gonna be on?! Until next February?! Bat-shit crazy, Tatiana, is this season's Sanjaya Jaya Binks. She's a kook! Rosie O'Donnell's prodigy Von Smith made it through. Sexy, god-loving widower Danny Gokey is gonna be a "story" this season. Anoop Desai is like a gag from a HAROLD AND KUMAR movie, but he can definitely rock out. I'm also keeping my eye on social outcast and Heatherette model (in his own mind), Nathaniel Marshall. Since we've only seen about 10 of the final 36 actually sing, the next few weeks may actually get this Spruce Goose of a season off the ground (or water or whatever). Who do you like? Who do you love? Who do you hate? Can you believe that sexy-god-loving-widower's BFF weird-facial-piercings-guy didn't make it?!

Does Anyone Still Wear A HAT!?!

2009-02-11T16:20:00.000-08:00

Elaine Stritch is playing "Royce" in "Royce: The Musical!" featuring the hit song "Quando Quando." Coming to a screen (of some sort) near you.

YouTube is better than TV.

M.I.A. Holds Her Water

2009-02-09T16:20:00.000-08:00

Did ANYTHING else happen at the Grammys besides THIS!? (the answer is NO!) M.I.A. showed up 9 1/2 months pregnant looking as big as Wynonna or the Goodyear Blimp. But M.I.A. not only pulled it off, she ROCKED IT! She looked gorgeous, and she sounded better than the multi-platinum misogynists sharing the stage with her. You GO, girl! No, you GO and give birth! NOW!
Now seems like a good time to mention that when you are 9 1/2 months pregnant and you are performing on stage at the Staples Center and on International TV (with a bunch of mysoginists who sound like crap!) you can wear WHATEVER you want. That is a right granted by the Constitution. Look it up!

Grammycast 2009

2009-02-08T23:08:00.000-08:00

U2 kicked ass even though they are finally starting to look their age. And then. Ok. Um, they announced Whitney Houston but Dionne Warwick walked out. And, the bitch seemed high. High. She sounded like she had a Kool waiting for her in an ashtray just off stage. I'm glad Jennifer Hudson won and gave a very moving thank you. Then The Rock came out and did his Shatner impersonation. Yikes! I liked Timberlake and the Rev. Al Green. Chris Martin sounded good, but the rapper with him (Kanye? Jay Z? Who was that?!) was awful. Dreadful! Coldplay sounded good, but I just can't (ever) get excited about them. Even seeing Chris Martin's pubes wasn't exciting. Do they give away any Grammys? Carrie Underwood looked like White Trash Beyoncé, and I kinda mean that in a good way. I think she always sounds great. Good for her. Then finally one more award. Country. Moving on... Al Green came back with Duffy to sing and give the award for song of the year to Coldplay. Zzzz. Kid Rock. ZZZZZZ. Taylor Swift and Miley "It's Miley!!" Cyrus did a touching and repulsively "christiany" country-ish song about what it's like to be 15 years old, even though they both look 20+ and act 30+. Then the tweens gave an award to some really old people: Alison Kraus and Robert Plant. Then Jennifer Hudson came out and showed that she will not be stopped. She REALLY should stick to singing and give up acting, but girlfriend can sing! UGH! The Jonas Brothers and Stevie Wonder performing together?! Even a blind man can see the Jonas Brothers are the WORST thing to happen to music since Milli Vanilli. OH how I wanted to projectile vomit during their number. Blink 182 showed up to announce they're back together. Travis Barker looked good but a bit shaken. Coldplay won again. I was shocked. Fast forwarding... Craig Ferguson (is he still on CBS?!) came out to share some humor in bad taste, flub his lines, and introduce the wonderful Katy Perry, who I love more every time I see her. Or maybe I just love the fag who's dressing her. Estelle sang "American Boy" assisted by Kanye West in a black mullet. They sounded OK. Best New Artist went to Adele!! Yay! I LOVE me some Adele! She looked gorgeous as usual. She's only 19! Damn! She's so cute! She mentioned (sort of as if she was embarrassed to) that she "loved" the Jonas Brothers. Legally, she could have consentual sex with 2 of the Jonas brothers, I think. Have fun at the after party! Kenny Chesney gives me the CREEPS! Natalie Cole came out with what looked like a nip slip, Puffy, and Herbie Hancock to award Record of The Year to a crazy list of nominees. ALL over the map. Alison Kraus and Robert Plant won again. Are ALL Grammy members folk singers? What gives?! Queen Latifah came out looking good, but not looking thinner for her Jenny Craig campaign. She awkwardly mentioned something about Dean Martin, and then introduced an all-star "rap pack" lead off by a VERY pregnant M.I.A. She looked hilarious but GREAT! She was followed by Kanye and some other big-time rappers. Didn't sound so great. Kinda dumb to do black and white in the age of HD. Was that Jay Z? Is he rapping again? Beyoncé can't be THAT expensive! Kate Beckinsale showed up for no apparent reason to introduce Sir Paul McCartney, who I am SO tired of! Moving on... Jack Black and Charlie Hayden (sp?) his father-in-law came out to do more boring Grammy crap. Then they gave out the Best Male Pop Vocal Grammy to... John Mayer. WOW! I did NOT see THAT coming. Neither did Paul McCartney. Lame speech. A drunk Jay Mohr and a cool (natch!) LL Cool J introduced Sugarland (Zzzz) and then Adele. Adele sounded perfect as usual. Love her voice. Then Sugarland joined Adele for no reason. Grammys! Stop it! Gwenyth came out in a hot little dress and 18 pairs of panty hose to introduce Radiohead and a marching band. Gwentyh is SO hip. The performance was no "Jill Scott and Blue Man Group" but it was interesting. Justin Timberlake was back to rap with some guy. They were NOT in sync and sounded weird. Maybe it was me. The Grammy big-cheese came out and pointed out that Obama had won 2 Grammys. He then called for a Secretary of Arts to be added to the cabinet. I'm so tired of the show even though I've been fast forwarding through MUCH of it. The Four Tops tribute was good but didn't thrill me. Speaking of not thrilling me, Josh Groban came out... on to the stage to introduce Neil Diamond. Ok. Sure, I'm always up for Neil Diamond. His "rousing" performance of "Sweet Caroline" was so karaoke it was almost meta. Then they showed the memorial reel to those who've passed away this past year. The following are people I thought were already dead: Levi Stubbs, Isaac Hayes, and Bo Diddley. Then an all-star band did a tribute to the recently dead. Speaking of the dead, they did a tribute to New Orleans. Robin Thicke sounds sexy but looks skanky. There I said it. Every award show should bring attention to the fact the New Orleans is STILL a MESS. Best Rap Album went to Lil Wayne (and apparently his whole family). I can't take much more! This show is putting me into a coma. Zoe Dechannel introduced the duo of the evening Alison Krause and Robert Plant whose song was good, but kind of a low-key let-down after all the other over-the-top performances. Green Day showed up not looking filthy. Album of the year finally went to Alison Krause and Robert Plant. Shock! Stevie Wonder closed the show on time. Now Kathy Griffin has to another year to plot and plan to get her Grammy.

Grammys and Jesus to Kathy Griffin: SUCK IT!

2009-02-08T15:42:00.000-08:00

The Sectional is sad to report that Kathy Griffin's dream of winning a Grammy has come to an end... at least for this year. I'm sure she'll have lots to say about being beaten out for the Grammy by a dead guy (George Carlin). We're afraid to ask what she'll do next year to get Grammy voters' attention. But, we can't wait to watch! Sorry, Kathy. WE still love you!

SNL: Put a Wigg on THAT!

2009-02-08T00:01:00.000-08:00

Bradly Cooper? Who? Well, at least he's kinda cute. He's not why we're watching SNL tonight. Kristin Wiig did another razor sharp Kathy Lee Gifford (host of the 4th hour of the TODAY show on NBC) sketch which was deliciously uncomfortable to watch. Her physicality with the "character" is deeply disturbing. I don't get those "singing sketches" where they say really weird stuff in between singing an unusual song. What's up with that? Tonight's SNL kinda had a "collection of YouTube clips" feeling. Is that a coincidence? Is that a good thing? TV On The Radio made me feel like I'd fallen into a time warp, and not in a good way. My favorite punchline from UPDATE: "Because nothing helps you fit in like a monkey full of cocaine." Thank you, Seth Meyers, for sticking up for Michael Phelps. Why aren't more people? And, OH THANK YOU JEEBUS for Kristin Wiig as Bjork! Her song KILLED me! I can't wait 'til her song is online so I can watch it over and over. And, can someone tell me why Drew Barrymore was at the end of the show and why Bradley Cooper didn't mention her even though she was standing RIGHT next to him. In fact, he aaaalmost elbowed her in the face at one point, but he didn't mention her. Was she in a sketch? Did I fall asleep?

REALLY!?!

Kathie Lee at the Hoedown!

Bjork for President of Iceland!

More clips at HULU.com and NBC.com

Michael Phelps: Waiting To Exhale

2009-02-06T16:20:00.000-08:00

Oh dear. Poor Michael Phelps. It doesn't look like the end of the Bush Era is going to be the end of being a dick. Kellogs, I'm talking you! Phelps' sponsors have been deserting him all day. Sporting organizations are condemning him left and right. Christ, people! If ANYONE deserved one or two fun bong hits -- after WINNING more OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALS than anyone in modern history -- its Michael Phelps. Do I need to repeat that?! Give a hot bitch a break! He's like 18 years old! Sheesh! I hope my favorite pot comedian (who is also my favorite (male) comedian), Doug Benson hosts a benefit concert to boost Phelps' spirits (and to get him high backstage). And WHO is the super DOUCHE who sold that photo? I hope Phelps get him alone in a room! I'll be posting more on this item as I get more and more angry and more and more stoned throughout the weekend ...so stay tuned!

Happy Friday, Potatoes! What's On TV This Weekend?

2009-02-06T00:56:00.001-08:00

Hey, blogtatoes! What are you watching? What are we here at The Sectional missing that we should be watching? Post TiVo suggestions in the COMMENTS section of this very post, and we'll get back to you with our "professional" opinions of the show. Let's start a discussion. Expand your TV universe!

Hollywood Weak

2009-02-05T00:01:00.000-08:00

Every episode of AMERICAN IDOL this season has been making me want to watch the next episode less. I feel they are leading me down a path I don't want to go down. The many major changes they've made this season haven't done anything to make me want to watch the show more. I'm even mildly annoyed that I haven't even seen that much good singing in the first 4 episodes. Even on Wednesday's show, the dreaded group night, I don't think any groups performance was shown in its entirety. Each AMERICAN IDOL show has the effect of a montage or rather the lack of effect left following a montage. Sure, I see a bunch of stuff happening, but I'm not feeling any connection to the show as it meanders by. Anyone LOVING this new season? Anyone HATING it? Am I the only one who thinks about this stuff?

The group with the sexy, religious widower is a shoe-in:Also among the best of the night was the group with the fiercest chick ever on IDOL.

Bye bye Bikini Girl. Some people fell apart and some people got trapped in a train wreck. Next week... more of the same.

The BIGGEST Loser

2009-02-03T23:35:00.000-08:00

Just when you thought no one could be more of a crazy nutbar than Vicki from last season's THE BIGGEST LOSER along comes Joelle. Joelle does not live on planet Earth. Clearly her weight is a symptom of something WAY more messed up. The WORST part is that her "partner" slash "best friend" Carla was the heaviest woman ever weighed in on THE BIGGEST LOSER and really, REALLY needed to be on the show and at the trainer-supervised ranch. Carla also really, REALLY wanted to be on the ranch. Joelle just straight-up bitch-punked her. Joelle didn't work out like anyone else on the show. She thought she was at a spa. In her mind, she was. I hope Carla comes back stronger and leaner than ever at the finale and literally kicks Joelle's still-fat ass! Joelle's supreme disconnectedness with reality was truly historic on reality TV. Joelle is up there with Willie Ames and Dustin Diamond on CELEBRITY FIT CLUB and CT on THE REAL WORLD in terms of bat-shit crazy mofos who you have got to watch out for! They will stab you in the back the SECOND you look away!

Cash Cab Cutie?

2009-02-03T17:00:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to decide if I should have a bromance (w/ benefits) crush on host of Discovery Channel's CASH CAB, Ben Bailey. What is it with me and the guys on the Discovery Channel?! Would someone invite me to their company Holiday Party for chrissakes?! Ben Bailey is a cab driver slash game show host. How many people can say that? The fact that he can multi-task to that degree is kinda sexy. In general, though, I have to say that "cab driver" is just about the WORST job I can think of, and dating a cab driver is 100% un-sexy. So, we're back to zero. He has a great sense of humor. Not only is he driving AND hosting a game show, but he's fun and funny while he's doing it. He rolls with the punches in a way that's very sexy. However, he's a comedian which is kinda un-sexy. So, slight point in his favor on that one. Well, look at him! He's a big, meaty hunk. Yum! Though he does have a stern side. After starring in the film BAD MEAT, he enjoyed a few TV guest spots including a role on my favorite usta-be-on show, HOPE AND FAITH starring the incredibly awesome Kelly Ripa. Six degrees, people! CASH CAB has been on for a few years now, so Ben Bailey is making a good living. What do you think, potatoes? Is Ben Bailey a good catch? Straight or gay? Funny or goofy? Help me out here, people.

I Wonder If Christian Bale Is "Vocal" In Bed

2009-02-03T16:20:00.000-08:00

It's easy to see why it would be difficult to stay mad at Christian Bale, though apparently a few people now have good reason. On the set of the new TERMINATOR film, Bale had a bit of a NSFW diva-moment (see Patti LuPone one post down for other recent diva-moments). We've ALL had the kind of day CB is having, though most of us were not professionally microphoned at the time. If Bale was shirtless at the time he was screaming profanity at me at the top of his lungs I'd be kind turned on. Wouldn't you? And, if he was butt-ass naked, red-faced, and shouting, profanity at me I'd jump him like a pack of cougars. I'm just sayin'. Wouldn't you?

Oh good, now there's a song and a Bill O'Reilly remix too! (ALL, NSFW.) All hilarious!

Bill-O and Bale-o

F*ckin' Newsies!

LuPWNed!

2009-02-02T12:46:00.000-08:00

This is my favorite thing I've seen all day!

Help me! Now, I can't stop watching it.

SNL Airs Sketchmericials

2009-02-01T01:00:00.000-08:00

SNL was (finally) back this week to plug Steve Martin's new PINK PANTHER 2: STEVE MARTIN'S PAYCHECK. How many times is he going to host the show?! What the hell is Justin Timberlake doing that's so frickin' important that he can't host SNL?! Justin! Justin! Justin! My favorite new SNL faux commercial was for edible Pampers. Nasty! Then shortly after the faux commerical, I found it interesting/scary that SNL and/or NBC/UNIVERSAL/GE tossed in commercials disguised as MacGruber sketches guest starring actual MacGyver, Richard Dean Anderson. The super-awesome Kristin Wiig co-starred. Were they sketches or commercials or sketchmercials? The MacGruber sketchmercials were for my new least-favorite mega-corp, Pepsi. You may know Pepsi as the company who took the Obama logo for their own corportate logo after Obama's election win. If McCain had won (god forbid!) would we be drinking Pepsi out of cans with liver spots? Then after faux commercials and commercials disguised as sketches, SNL had the nerve to make a joke at the end of Weekend Update about CBS creating a show called "CSI: SHAM-WOW." More like NBC: Sham Now! Then later Steve Martin played banjo to shamelessly plug his new CD of apparently weird banjo songs. It was tough to tell if the song they performed was a children's song or what. Anyway, on with the show... Spoiler alert: there was a new insane Laser Cats short which was like the homemade version of STAR WARS. Miss Amy LOVES Laser Cats. It's growing on me. Also, Lorne Michaels' office looks like a cross between Tina Fey's office and Alec Baldwin's office on 30 ROCK which I find odd. Almost as odd as the unexplained backstage llama. I only like Jason Mraz because he's kinda cute in a so-ugly-he's-cute kinda way. He's also very humorous, which is sexy if used properly. He didn't look particularly sexy on SNL, but he sounded better than most people do. The only people who sound good playing live on SNL are U2, Christina Aguilera, and -- apparently -- Mr. Mraz. The highlight of Weekend Update was Jason Sudeikis' brilliant post-impeachment Blagojevich ape. Loved it! Some new chick did a sick and hilarious spot-on impression of Angela Jolie. And THANK YOU JESUS! Despite previous uproar and outrage, Fred Armisen came back as New York Governor Patterson, which is the funniest thing EVER. It's SO f'ing sick and WRONG - I LOVE it! He was relentless too. It made the previous Patterson sketches look tame by comparison. Otherwise, Update has gone waaaay down hill since Amy and Tina left. Seth just isn't enough for me. I'd LOVE to see Kristin Wiig do a different co-anchor each week (Katie Couric, Elizabitch Hasselbeck, Martha Stewart, etc.) C'mon, Lorne! Wiig me! NOW!Here's PART 3 of the MacGruber Pepsi Sketchmercials. Each spot got increasingly more "pepsi-fied."

BLAGO! (Sudekis is brilliant!)

And, now... the best. Ladies and Gentlepotatoes, I give you New York State Governor Patterson.

Clips of other hilarity (Edible Pampers and Angelina Jolie, just to name a few) are online at HULU.com and NBC.com.

What The Soup?!

2009-01-30T22:41:00.001-08:00

What the?! Am I high or was THE SOUP on at 9:30 instead of 10PM tonight? Did that happen to anyone else or just me? I hope my TiVo knew! Now I'm watching 3 tigers tear a man apart in HD, instead of women on ROCK OF LOVE BUS tear each other apart in Regular D. Thanks, Joel!

Happy Friday, Miss Uumellmahaye!

2009-01-30T12:00:00.000-08:00

THE MAN WITH TWO BRAINS. Not one of the best movies, but certainly worth of a freaky tribute video. Happy Friday, potatoes.

Work It Harder Better Faster Longer Stronger Bong-er

2009-01-29T16:20:00.000-08:00

It's bloody techno, darling!

D'oh!

In Hell

2009-01-29T16:19:00.000-08:00

Now THAT's what I call a series premiere, HELL'S KITCHEN! DAMN! Fireworks! Drama! Cursing like that of a Foreign Legionnaire! Crying and even blood! Gordon Ramsey is just plain good TV. He's SUCH a mega-dick on HELL'S KITCHEN but he's often such a kitten on his KITCHEN NIGHTMARES show. He's a healer on KN and a bad-as spank-meister on HK. I'm beginning to wonder if the proliferation of cooking shows (TOP CHEF, etc.) is contributing to America's national fattening. I love HELL'S KITCHEN! Why FOX chose to put it on opposite NBC's ONLY decent shows: THE OFFICE and 30 ROCK is a mystery. I'm videotaping HELL'S KITCHEN old-skool-style on my video cassette recorder (which Comcast Cable Corp. is going to render useless when they force their "secret box" on me). That's when I'll be getting my 2-tuner Direct TV satellite TV. Because Comcast lied. And I am SO sick of companies who are mean to their customers. Comcast sucks. Anyway, watch HELL'S KITCHEN!

Spawn Of The Devil: It's Pregnant Again

2009-01-29T12:00:00.000-08:00

Oh shit! Elizabitch Hasselcoulter is squeezing out yet another bigoted right-wing nutjob from her clown-car vagina. She's pictured to the left showing how many children she plans to have. Just what the world needs! More hate and ignorance. On the plus side, she'll be off the show for a few months in August and September, but that's usually when they're on hiatus. Ugh! Watch out world, here comes another bigot-spawn!

Vuh Jay Jay Walker

2009-01-28T16:20:00.000-08:00

American Idol. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

2009-01-28T00:01:00.000-08:00

For my post about this week's AMERICAN IDOL, see last week's post. Or, better yet, here it is again (abridged even):
"I'm sad that AMERICAN IDOL was only one hour tonight. I wanted more crazies! Hollywood week is going to be high drama. The "auditions" shows are filled with a LOT more auditioner's stories and a LOT fewer auditions. Every audition was puzzling and seemed to go on forEVER! I'm not enjoying the auditions this season. I'm looking forward to Hollywood week. I hope there will be some singing."

Fat Heads

2009-01-28T00:00:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure why THE BIGGEST LOSER (aka THE BOB AND JILLIAN EGO SHOW) decided to give away 115 minutes of the 120 minute show in the previews this week. If you watched NBC at all this week then you already know that the final weigh in (the only reason for watching the show) was gonna be between the two youngest guys. What a dilemma! Despite Tara's right-on plea to save the orange team's lives, they were voted off. This has been the season of bad vote-offs. We'll see what happens in the finale.

Have You Ever Seen Jeff Lieberman and Jonathan Goodwin in the Same Room?

2009-01-27T13:13:00.000-08:00

Have You Ever Seen Jeff Lieberman and Jonathan Goodwin in the Same Room? Me neither. Do you know who's who in the pic above? What gives?! Who's casting at the Discovery Channel? They're practically twins. Lieberman is the MIT robotics artist and host of Discovery's TIME WARP. Goodwin is the "escape artist" [crazy person] and host of Discovery's ONE WAY OUT. Goodwin's like a British David Blaine. He's equally as annoying as Blaine but in a different more geeky way. Lieberman is a sexy scientist who is like Bill Nye in designer jeans and clingy t-shirts. Even though ONE WAY OUT has no redeeming scientific value whatsoever, it has its mildly entertaining moments.

SJP and Matthew Broderick are NOT breaking up

2009-01-25T02:20:00.000-08:00

Sarah Jessica Parker recently denied rumors that she and husband Matthew Broderick (pictured here) are divorcing. Good for them. Sham marriages are what make Hollywood (or Manhattan) really interesting!

Bonnie Hunt: The Best Show You Aren't Watching (You Know You Aren't!)

2009-01-24T00:01:00.000-08:00

I love Bonnie Hunt! Her daytime talk show is often the highlight of my day (humorwise. It's rarely the BEST thing that happened to me all day, anyway...) and I usually can't wait to watch it on TiVo everyday. Do most TiVo owners --like me-- watch shows I'm excited to watch at 20 minutes after they start? Or do you start them live and then take a break? Anyway, one of my favorite things Bonnie Hunt does is mercilessly mock Kim from THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA. Kim, who can't sing a note, is exactly the kind of person who would try out for AMERICAN IDOL and sound dreadful. Bonnie's YouTube site (which doesn't allow embedding :-( ) has a preview clip of her upcoming "Kim" skit. If you're not watching Bonnie, do yourself a favor... watch it a couple times. Smile. You should smile more.

Chia-Obama

2009-01-23T16:20:00.000-08:00

Cha cha cha chia! President of the United States and avid reader, Barack Obama, has now received one of our nation's top honors, he's been made into a Chia President. Jeanne Moos of CNN (one of my favorite TV reporters EVER) explains:

Friday Already?!

2009-01-23T12:34:00.000-08:00

Happy Friday, potatoes! After laughing my ass off at M. Night Shamalamadingdong's THE HAPPENING last night, I am ready to laugh with something not at it. So, luckily for all of us
tonight brings new episodes of THE SOUP and BEST WEEK EVER. I wish I got the Style Channel so I could also watch :D THE DISH starring Danielle Fishel, who I finally figured out was Topanga on BOY MEETS WORLD, right? But, that's on tomorrow night!

Condensed Soup

Yay, BEST WEEK EVER is back.

The "Real" WEST WING

2009-01-23T03:11:00.000-08:00

This is cool, but Obama has a LONG way to go before he replaces Josiah 'Jed' Bartlet as my favorite U.S. President ever!

THAT's what THAT is!

2009-01-23T00:55:00.000-08:00

According to a Buzzfeed article, this is the first step in making McDonald's Chicken McNuggets. You are looking at (what I assume is) raw mechanically separated chicken. Enjoy! Our winner was Derek, who technically doesn't win because he didn't post his answer in the comments section of The Sectional he emailed it to me. Derek would have won a McDonald's gift certificate.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

2009-01-21T16:20:00.000-08:00

When you become the other Queen of Soul, you can complain about her taste in "church hats." Otherwise, STFU! Aretha Franklin is allowed to wear whatever the F she wants (as she has repeatedly shown us).

Idol Gives Back (The 2nd Hour of the Show)

2009-01-21T00:21:00.000-08:00

I'm sad that AMERICAN IDOL was only one hour tonight. I wanted more crazies! Tatiana Del Toro seemed loonier than William Hung and Lemur-Eyed Boy combined. I thought she sounded OK. The judges toyed with her a bit before relenting and making all her dreams come true by sending her to Hollywood. Bikini Girl, watch out. Then Tatiana cackled on camera for what seemed like EVER. Hollywood week is going to be high drama. Jesús had a touching story, but the "auditions" shows are filled with a LOT more auditioner's stories and a LOT fewer auditions. What does a guy solving a Rubik's Cube have to do with his singing ability? Both the cube and his audition were puzzling. Every audition was puzzling and seemed to go on forEVER! It was 45-freakin' minutes before the first brief montage of actually good singers followed immediately by crazy-screaming girl, Annie. At 47 minutes into the show, Adam came along. They showed his musical theatre background. He was dressed hip and sexy. His voice was very interesting. He was also relaxed and surprisingly not crazy. And then for the last few minutes of the show, they brought it down. Way down. Cue the Kleenex. I'm not enjoying the auditions this season. I'm looking forward to Hollywood week. I hope there will be some singing.

Gone!

2009-01-20T16:20:00.000-08:00

Goodbye W. - "The End of An Error"

2009-01-20T00:01:00.000-08:00

George W. Bush is the WORST PRESIDENT in American History. And let's hope it stays that way! America could not survive another national tragedy like George W. Bush. I am among many people who still dispute the legality of his first term since was appointed to the job by his father's buddies not by the American people. It's important to remember that he was NOT elected President in 2000. He was appointed. In some ways, it could be called a "bloodless coup." Bush and Cheney took over our country from democracy. Their agenda was clear: shred the Constitution and every document created as President, empower corporations to strip the resources of the planet for their gain, and vacation... a LOT. Pure, evil greed. Few Presidents have done so much damage to our own country in 8 years. I'm still baffled that he was elected to a 2nd term, but unfortunately the blame for that lies with either Howard "Woo Woo" Dean, John "Shut The Fuck Up You Wordy Bastard" Kerry or the Republican-owned Diebold Corporation for rigging all the electronic voting machines. Either way, Americans have suffered through 8 long, tough years of lies, terrorist attacks, fearmongering, warmongering, torture, limitless government spending, environmental rape, and racial cleansing in New Orleans. When we look back on these 8 years, we will be ashamed that we allowed it to occur. If you voted for George W. Bush, you have blood on your hands from the U.S. Soldiers killed for no reason and for those tortured in the name of the United States of America. BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS!

But, let's start with a little fantasy story that keeps me awake at night. Let's say Al Gore had fought a little harder or Jimmy Carter showed up to sort things out. Gore wins in 2000. Gore would have kept the deficit and the budget in check, and he would have spent the BAJILLIONS of dollars Bush has squandered on the Iraq War on new energy sources and peaceful negotiations with the world leaders. The Iraq war has cost OVER $500,000,000,000 TRILLION dollars. Do you know how many Prius' that buys? How many solar panels? How many jobs that money could create? That money could build schools, buy books, pay teachers.

9/11 happened on Bush's watch. He ignored intelligence that warned him -- and his administration -- of the impending attack and they did nothing. Bush was the Commander in Chief who allowed this attack to occur. If I was Commander in Chief and I read a memo that said, "Bin Laden Determined To Strike Inside the U.S." I might have perked up my ears a bit. Maybe put a little just-in-case plan together that did not include reading a children's book while YOUR nation was under attack. FAHRENHEIT 9/11 will be remembered as the accurate retelling of the 9/11 cover-ups committed by your regime. Its enormous box-office grosses speaks to the feeling that people do NOT feel like they got the full story from Bush or the press.

And, where is Osama Bin Laden? Finding and bringing Osama Bin Laden to the U.S. for a trial and/or execution was Bush's #1 job from 9/12 on, and he did little to find Bin Laden. He had almost 8 years to find ONE man, and he could NOT do it. I really hope that when Obama finds Osama that Osama produces the proof that Bush and Cheney were behind the 9/11 attacks on American soil. They were the only people capable of such an attack and the only ones to benefit. Devastating to the country, 9/11 was a windfall for Bush. One problem, Bin Laden's already been "taken care of" Sopranos-style or he's kickin' it in Bali with WAY more than 72 virgins by now. So, to shift the focus from Bush's greatest failure, he created his biggest mistake: The Iraq War.

Iraq War (as of last week)
4226 American deaths
4087 of the AFTER "Mission Accomplished"
Official number of soldiers wounded 30,934
Unofficial estimates put the number of AMERICAN soldier wounded closer to 100,000
Some NGOs put the Iraqi death toll including women and children at over 1 million. This is all over a war that was based on fabricated evidence and bully tactics. This call to urgent war had a hastily bullied "coalition" of a few nations but faced opposition from the U.N. and the majority of nations worldwide. But Bushy knew better. The only thing worse than going to war is STILL being at war. It's like someone gave Bush a copy of "Middle Eastern War For Dummies" and he threw it aside and made it up as he went along. Dick Cheney's former employer Haliburton and other war profiteers lined their pockets with BILLIONS of tax-payer dollars while randomly and wantonly shooting up a sovereign nation without having to adhere to ANY rule book. Those "in charge" stole from, lied to, and plundered Iraq. Thousands of American soldiers killed and Bush still sees no end in sight. No possible way out of the mess he'd created. So he surged and stalled and lied and danced and now Iraq is Obama's problem. So, hopefully soon Guantanamo Bay will be closed and the troops will start handing Iraq back to its rightful owners. Then our soldiers and their support staff can come home, get the help and treatment they need, and get on with their lives.

George Bush to New Orleans: Drown and die, I don't care! Katrina was another test that Bush failed miserably. And when Bush fails, it's something to behold. He was on vacation and paling around with buddies while New Orleans was drowning. Kanye West was the only man who said what needed to be said. Unfortunately, Mike Meyers got caught in the crossfire. I don't really care for Kanye West, but he will ALWAYS have a special place in my heart for going "off prompter" on live national TV. WAY off prompter!

And, Bush STILL doesn't get it! W. thinks that he and FEMA did a great job in New Orleans. He castigates anyone who would suggest otherwise.

prophecy. But, this was a direct result of Bush's regulation-free 8 years of corporate fraud, greed, and theft. WTF happened last summer with gas prices?! The entire U.S. got royally spanked by the oil industry and Bush just went on vacation again! He sat there and watched/let it happen. Gas prices skyrocketed due to nothing more than the threat that oil prices might climb, which turned out to be a self-fulilingExxonMobil and the other scumsucking assholes who sell you gasoline made RECORD quarterly profits in the months during the price-gouging. I wonder how much stock the Bush family has in oil companies?

The Bush Legacy and the Bush Library. Are you KIDDING me?! Bush and Cheney shredded everything that could prove they did ANYTHING between 2000 and 2009. They tossed computer servers into industrial strength wood-chippers. They never told the truth. A George W. Bush Library is a sick and stupid joke. Will the library tour start with the "ABCs & 123s" and work its way through torture, regulationless corporate bacchanalia, racist/homophobic policy, exposing classified CIA agents' identities, and finish off with other civil and human rights violations? I hope Bush is hung as an International War Criminal in Switzerland before the groundbreaking on his "libary" can even occur.

And, perhaps his final racist asshole move was to deny the Obama family the right to stay at Blair House where EVERY incoming President has stayed since forEVER. Petty. Little.

Goodbye, W. You were the WORST thing to happen to America since the Civil War. Your legacy? You took a healthy country on the verge of becoming a shining beacon to the world known for peace, innovation, and justice. And, you ruined it, destroyed it, over and over and over until there was barely anything left for to hand over to your successor. You sucked our country DRY! You BLED our wallets. You burned the Constitution (along with your papers, emails, and Post-It notes). Bush's BS Presidential Library will be a black hole that sucks the truth in! It will be one small empty room, which pretty much sums you up. Hopefully, the memorial erected to the thousands or millions of people killed during your regime because of your stupidity and selfishness will more accurately reflect your impact on history and on America.

MLK Day 2009: A Dream On The Verge Of Coming True

2009-01-19T00:01:00.000-08:00

Democracy is the greatest form of government to my mind that man has ever conceived, but the weakness is that we have never touched it. Isn’t it true that we have often taken necessities from the masses to give luxuries to the classes? Isn’t it true that we have often in our democracy trampled over individuals and races with the iron feet of oppression? Isn’t it true that through our Western powers we have perpetuated colonialism and imperialism? And all of these things must be taken under consideration as we look at Russia [or Iraq or Iran]. We must face the fact that the rhythmic beat of the deep rumblings of discontent from Asia and Africa is at bottom a revolt against the imperialism and colonialism perpetuated by Western civilization all these many years. The success of communism [terrorism] in the world today is due to the failure of democracy to live up to the noble ideals and principles inherent in its system.

And this is what Jesus means when he said: "How is it that you can see the mote in your brother’s eye and not see the beam in your own eye?" Or to put it in Moffatt’s translation: "How is it that you see the splinter in your brother’s eye and fail to see the plank in your own eye?" And this is one of the tragedies of human nature. So we begin to love our enemies and love those persons that hate us whether in
collective life or individual life by looking at ourselves.

What's That?

2009-01-19T00:00:00.000-08:00

What's being extruded into the box? Guess in the COMMENTS section! The truth will be posted soon in the COMMENTS section. Insulation? Ice cream? Fro Yo? Dog food? Monkey chow? Pepto-Bismol concentrate? Sausage? Frosting?

SNL: Rosario Live

2009-01-18T01:12:00.000-08:00

We'll have clips and a complete SNL wrap-up on Sunday afternoon. Don't miss it! (The wrap-up, not the show. The show probably won't be very good.) I stand corrected the show was pretty funny. I didn't post the Aladdin clip here because it's pretty long, but ALADDIN is one of my favorite movies, and the spoof was BRILLIANT! Check it out on NBC.com and/or HULU.com Here are a few of the highlights. Anne Coulter explains that torture is "Christiany."

EVERYTHING MUST GO! (Really!)

More to come soon. OR, visit NBC.com or HULU.com!

Saturday Afternoon Video Buffet

2009-01-17T00:17:00.000-08:00

Take a break, potatoes! Kick back with your laptops on your laps or in your desk chair. Here's a little video salad with dressing on the side. Mmmm, yummy.

WTF*

2009-01-16T16:20:00.000-08:00

*What the FRAK?! Without giving away any spoilers, I have to say that the first episode of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA was a fraking disaster, and I not in the nuclear or hurricane way. Maybe it's because I don't care about any of the characters because it's been sooooo sooooooo soooo fraking long since the show's been on. The whole fraking episode seemed like a bunch of completely unrelated and random events that didn't add up to ANYTHING. Starbuck did not fraking explain why there was a huge worldwide coffee franchise named after her. The Admiral was behaving like fraking Baltar. Where the frak was Baltar? The President was acting like a Six with crippling fraking PMS. One amazing improvement was the background soundtrack, which in surround sound filled the room with eerie background clangs and clanks and echoing spooky noises in every scene on the ship. Frakin' awesome (but pointless if there's nothing on the show but a bunch of random background noises). Not frakin' awesome was the exposition back story about the music the secret in-fleet Cyclons all heard which eventually drew them all together. Earth, though, was like a cheesy 80's BSG set and NOT up to 00's BSG's usual standards. The entire episode was dangerously close to previous episodes of shows like LOST (blech!) and HEROES (????) which caused me to stop watching the show. The producers seem to be tossing all the show's previous plot points and characters into an airlock and flushing them out into deep space. Now that I know who the final 5th secret Cyclon is, it makes much LESS sense than all the people the show was alluding to throughout the completely superfluous first 41 minutes of the episode loyal fans have been waiting almost a year for. Don't FRAK this up, BSG! We're counting on you to lead us all out of TV hell.

Don't Fall In Love With a Homo

2009-01-16T00:01:00.000-08:00

Good advice, ladies. Happy Friday, potatoes, from gay pop superstar, TV personality, and nightlife legend, "Gay Pimp" Jonny McGovern. The Gay Pimp blazed onto the New York scene in 2000 with a satirical mix of character comedy and dirty gay hits. That's from his web site; though, I cleaned up the grammar. Who is proofreading your site, Jonny?! I think Jonny is hilarious. You may have seen him on recent VH1 snark-o-vision shows where they "countdown" the 90s or whatever. Search for him on YouTube and you'll find a bounty of humorous and nasty videos.

BEST and WORST Dressed at the GLOBES

2009-01-15T22:05:00.000-08:00

Patty's BEST and WORST dressed from the Golden Globes.
First, the WTF Award of the Awards' Season goes to Drew BarryMOREMOREMORE who -- I suspect -- is a staunch woman. S-T-A-U-N-C-H. She looks like she's been rolling around on the red carpet. I both love and hate this "look" so much that I just had to say WTF!Now on to the WORST
This dress makes me physically ill. It looks like an alien threw up all over Maggie Gyllendon't. Her makeup looked ONE small dab shy of Dina Martina, and her hair was a high-top fade.
Oh my f#cking hell! Renee!! Renee Crazyweger looked like Blanche Dubois from head to toe after a ROUGH night dashing from plantation to plantation looking for a few kind strangers. Ghastly!
And, finally the BEST
Amy Adams was stunning in this dress. Sadly, this photo doesn't do it justice, but in HD on a big TV it was breathtaking! I have to ask, why no necklace? But, otherwise flawless.
My personal favorite of the evening was Mary Louise Parker in this hypnotic blue vision. She was a beacon in a night of mostly muted flesh tones and metallics. Plus, her skin is just so DAMN perfect that she looks so good in everything. Again, in HD, the dress was alive!
What did you think? Send me a link in your comments and I'll add the dress. Comment on my faves and/or share yours!

Mormon HATE Money

2009-01-15T21:41:00.000-08:00

Some interesting facts about the Mormon money trail involved in the Yes on 8 campaign in California. Don't forget to ask your Senator and Congressperson to revoke the Mormon's status as a tax-exempt "religious" organization. They are a lobbying organization.

How Do You Really Feel CNN?

2009-01-15T12:15:00.000-08:00

First Rick Sanchez has a few choice words for "Joe" the "plumber" who, as you may know, is now a "war correspondent" in Israel for a conservative news outlet. Conservatives are just truly batshit crazy in a way that can only be watched in amazement and openly mocked. Good job, Mr. Sanchez. I may have found my replacement Keith Olbermann. Also, I like Sanchez because he's "totally wired" and has deep roots in social netowrking integrated into his broadcast. He is a technological pioneer, and don't piss him off!

And, then there's Jack Cafferty. Seriously! don't piss off Jack Cafferty! I love how he just lets it fly. I hope that while striving to present impartial or balanced stories on TV news that more stations will offer "viewpoint" moments like Sanchez' "Joe" jab and Cafferty's brilliant daily gripe!

I DULL

2009-01-14T22:38:00.000-08:00

Night two of AMERICAN IDOL was total dejavu. It was so formulaic. There were the crazies, followed by the super-crazies, the people with tough lives and sad stories. There was even another Castro family off-spring. Perhaps you will remember Jason Castro from last season. He was a total goob with cool hair and a nice smile. I thought he was an awful singer and an even worse performer. Well, he has a brother who also can't sing and has the stage presence of a mic stand. Michael Castro describes himself as the manlier of the two. Yikes! I would NOT be shocked to learn that either Castro boy also had a vagina. Check out the photos. They are the LAST photos of a Castro on this blog! There are --as usual-- some good singers, but we're also --as usual-- only getting a fraction of the whole story. We won't see all the people selected from Phoenix or Kansas City until Hollywood if ever. 147 folks Made it through to Hollywood according to Ryan's voice over, including Bikini Girl, Recent Widower, and Welder Guy. Appropriately, the show ended with some girl holding her head in her hands crying out in desperation, "Oh my God, I can not believe this sh*t!" Indeed, girlfriend. None of us can.

RIP: Ricardo Montalban 1920 - 2009

2009-01-14T12:03:00.000-08:00

RIP: Ricardo Montalban
1920 - 2009
I hope you're relaxing on some soft Corinthian leather wherever you are. Perhaps you and Hervé are kickin' it old skool style with some hot Latinas.

FAT Tuesday

2009-01-13T19:58:00.000-08:00

After a holiday TV famine that almost cost me my sanity, TV is back with an embarrassment of riches. AMERICAN IDOL kicked off its 8th unlikely season with an absolutely cracked out opening montage. With Fantasia in foreclosure I'm not sure what message she sends to future IDOL hopefuls. On the other hand, Carrie Underwood's 11 million record sales figure is catching up to Kelly Clarkson's 19 million. You can NEVER tell who's going to win from the auditions. So many people crack later. David Cook was (and still is) a pudgy dweeb who happens to have a HOT voice and a smart ear for music. And, now look at him! AMERICAN IDOL season 8 started out in Phoenix where the usual suspects were joined by a new judge, Kara DioGuardi. Who? Ok, I get it. She's worked with some very annoying people who've sold a lot of records (and -- it turns out -- she can sing quite well herself). But, I still don't know her well enough to care. Some say four judges is pointless or superfluous. The whole show is pointless and superfluous, so I say bring on 10 judges. 16 year olds can be berated and belittled by as many people as FOX can afford to pay to show up. Typical of FOX's economy with new footage, I think the first actual audition occurred about 16 minutes into the show. Let the train wreck commence! It only took 30 minutes for Paula to give Simon the finger. Paula looked great. Speaking of Paula, I love the weirdos on the show... the contestants, I mean. I prefer the indignant hot-heads compared to the emotional criers. My favorites from Tuesday's show were Michael Gurr (whoa!), Leah-Marie (Kara's only fan), and Bikini Girl (who I can NOT believe got through to Hollywood! Are you kidding me?!) Of course the weirdest shot of the whole show was Ryan kissing a woman. Technically, a woman was kissing Ryan who appeared frozen with fear and/or revulsion. Also, Ryan, it's kinda uncool to give a BLIND guy a high five (since he can't see you giving it!) Next time, maybe a pat on the back or a hug?

Speaking of hugs, THE BIGGEST LOSER: COUPLES (or THE BOB AND JILLIAN EGO SHOW) was back for the cursed week 2 episode. Cursed because contestants who lost BIG the first week often suffer from biological-backlash and only lose a pound or two after a 20 pound loss the week before. This season's episode 2 was no different. It still amazes me that millions of Americans (and I) watch this show, which is basically 40 minutes of morbidly obese people in very little clothing being weighed. I mean, who wouldn't lose as much weight as they could if they had a personal trainer who guided you through an Olympic athlete's workout every day and you had nutritional guidance and medical supervision. What THE BIGGEST LOSER (or THE BOB AND JILLIAN EGO SHOW) hasn't shown you on the show are the past winners who've ballooned since winning the show. Paraphrasing the guy said on tonight's episode it's like winner's spend $200,000 of the quarter million dollar prize on fried chicken and the rest on a car. Erik Chopin, the winner of NBC's third season of The Biggest Loser (pic) gained half his amazing 200+ pound weigh loss back and appeared on Oprah this past week to apologize to his fans and supporters for topping the scales at over 300 pounds again. It ain't easy. But it does make for fascinating TV. FINALLY!

I would like to talk about a double-standard that seems profoundly weird to me. Janet Jackson flashes ONE saggy old booby on the Superbowl and America has an actual hissy-fit causing unprecedented shock waves through the entire television industry. But, every week guys with bigger, flabbier, uglier boobs that Mrs. Jackson flash them BOTH on the scale for minutes while the camera just fixates on them. I really just don't get why men can flash their giant breasts around all day and all night and one tiny black woman flashes one titty for a second and world goes mad! Speaking of boobs...

And, NO, I didn't see Ann Actualcoulter on THE VIEW with Elizabitch Hasselcoulter. One of them is bad enough. Two would kill me! Putting either on TV is a crime against rational thought and human decency. I will probably NEVER watch THE VIEW again.

Fierce!

2009-01-13T11:16:00.000-08:00

I love people who just dance where ever is most convenient at the time. It doesn't matter where you dance. If you can dance like the folks in these videos, you should do it often and everywhere!

Oh, Shane Mercado, I adore you! Here's the original Shane "Single Ladies" video from his bedroom. He glams it up a bit on THE BONNIE HUNT SHOW, but this video shows off his sexy bod. As I've said before, if you've got the body for a costume like that you have a duty to wear it. You go gurl!

Who Wants to Be a Millionare: The Sectional Edition

2009-01-11T12:44:00.000-08:00

D! D! The answer is D! Final answer!Um...? All of the above? D? A?To make your own version of WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONARE (or QUI VEUT GAGNER DES MILLIONS) here. Knowing French helps.

SNL 2009: Neil Patrick Harris

2009-01-10T20:35:00.000-08:00

Tonight, SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE returned live with host and gay cutie-pie Neil Patrick Harris. Sadly, the show is without new mom Amy Poehler. Thank god (who I don't believe in) that Kristin Wiig is still kicking ass on the show! She did a spot-on Kathie Lee Gifford on the interminable 5th hour of the TODAY show. She also had a triumphant return as terminally annoying know-it-all Penelope with a surprise ending. And the SNL faux game show with the BEST theme song ever, "Two First Names" featured -among others - Wiig as Jamie Lee Curtis (having a digestive emergency). Sadly, I can't find a clip of "Two First Names." :-(
This clip is called "Fran & Freba"

Penelope's two best friends are a tomato and Liza Minnelli.

Wiig does a FRIGHTENINGLY flawless Kathie Lee Gifford as the 4th hours of the TODAY show drones on and on and on...

The rest of last night's clips from SNL are on NBC clips page or on Hulu.

Saturday Video Buffet

2009-01-10T00:10:00.000-08:00

Rejoice potatoes! Here, collected all in one handy place, are all of The Sectional's favorite YouTube videos... so far! What are we missing? Suggest additions, deletions, better versions, and links to YOUR top 5, 10, whatever. We all wanna see! Comment! It soothes the soul and refreshes the mind. Please to enjoy.

Crooked Art: Lana Crooks

2009-01-10T00:01:00.000-08:00

Miss Amy pointed out artist Lana Crooks to me, and the more I learn about her, the more I love her work. She has a top-notch web site and a blog too (see blog roll, right and down). She's based in Chicago. Check out Lana Crooks if you're in the Chicago area. In addition to plush skulls, Crooks creates plush squids, and other "monsters." She makes wearable art and backpacks. Why aren't you checking out her stuff?! But come right back and play with the video player more, ok?