Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
I don't know if it's a great idea to watch THE BIGGEST LOSER on the day after ThanksG when I ate twice my body weight in pizza and chocolate last night, but I am. And, I just have to say that I have never seen a meaner, more conniving monster on THE BIGGEST LOSER in the history of the show than Vicki Vilcan. Vicki, you are pure evil. The more weight you lose the bigger a bitch you are going to become. I usually try not to actually hate people on reality TV because I know a lot of their character is edited in, but Vicki, you are straight-up evil. THE BIGGEST LOSER is usually such an inspirational show filled with beautiful moments of personal victory. But, this season is turning into an ugly knock-down drag-it-out fight to the death. Even if you lose weight and win the show, Vicki, you can't say you played with any human feeling which begs the question, Do you have any human feelings? I hope you choke on a ham sandwich.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving, America!!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
So, I watched the show... Rosie looked great. Fantastic makeup. I loved the opening number with Liza Minnelli. I saw Liza on Broadway in like 2000, and it looked like she'd be in the ground by intermission. But, she's risen and fallen a few times since then and tonight she rose from the grave (right onto Rosie's stage) and sang her skinny old ass off. Though Rosie sounded awful, Liza more than made up for it. Way to start a show! Talk about variety! First, Alec Baldwin came out, looked HUGE, and kept almost motorboating Rosie's ample bosom. Conan O'Brien arrived, looked like a stick figure, got hit in the face with a pie, and then left. Some little tiny children looking people tap danced, then two really gay looking guys did some crazy dancing that was an odd mix of SO YOU THINK YOU CAN RIVERDANCE. Jane Krakowski showed up and did a saucy Carol Merrill Broadway striptease while giving away a ton of free crap to the audience. That was surreal in a way I wasn't expecting. Then a paunchy Gaiken come on in his SPAMALOT costume. His hair looked like Kathy Griffin's hair when she hasn't had her hair or makeup done. Ne Yo sang a song. It wasn't bad. He sounded good. Nancy Grace popped up on a giant screen and then Kathy Griffin came out "doing" a flawless Nancy Grace impression (which I saw her do live on Saturday). Harry Connick Jr. came out dressed as Santa (sorta) and promoted his new Christmas CD and then "sang" (though he looked like he was having a grand mal seizure when he sang). Then the show took a crazy turn into "variety" territory with an ecstacy flashback involving WAY too much motion for my old brain to process: cowboys, hula hoops, segways, and asian chicks. Lots of spinning things. After the break, Rosie did a bit where she was dressed as a cop followed by Alanis Morrisette looking like Jennifer Anniston. She sounded great, but I wanted to kill myself about 30 seconds into her touching, introspective dirge. Gawdblesser, but she's kinda like Tori Amos without any balls. Gloria Estefan came out and did a lame-ass joke then sang with Rosie. Their voices sounded better than the Liza number, though it lacked the same pizzazz. Plus, I hate Gloria Estefan almost as much as Sharon Stone. Oh shit, I'm hallucinating now. There's giant dancing food. Worse yet, Rachel Ray popped out carrying a HUGE (fake) turkey. God damn I hate that bitch, Rachel Ray. But despite RR and Glofan, I enjoyed the show and would watch it again. Did you watch it? Did you enjoy it, or do you want that hour of your life back?
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
I resisted for as long as I could – Patty didn’t care if I wrote about The Hills, but I did. I hate watching this show but I just can’t help myself.
I started watching the MTV “reality” show toward the end of the first season while staying at a friends house where I had no control over the remote. I was hooked. As Lauren and Jason sat staring at each other at the beach house I sat staring back at them. I’d never watched a TV show before with such little dialogue. I finished out the season and then promptly added every season of
Now, every Monday night I tune in – cell phone in hand so I can text message my friend JP in NYC who is just as hooked as I am. Usually the texts go something like this:
JP: I KNOW!
MA: So gross. I hate him. Who ARE these people?
JP: I KNOW! WTF?!
Immediately following the show JP and I call each other. After getting busy signals and the occasional pre-ring-on-the-other-end-hang-up or the sound of dialing, we finally connect and proceed to yell at each other about how horrible the show is, why we still feel compelled to watch it, and what is wrong with “those people”.
Last night’s show was a doozy. LOTS of drama. Audrina finally lost what piece of her mind she had (oxymoron, I know) and believed a rumor she heard about Lauren hooking up with JustinBobby. AS IF. Speidi continued to argue. And JustinBobby of ALL people came out looking like a human being. Well, not physically looking like one. He actually looked like
The most drama last night came during the ridiculously long and even more ridiculously often commercial breaks. Previews for the after show with the trannie and the poser nerd guy revealed that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt got married (maaaaweed?!) in
So gross on so many levels. So after doing my best to keep swallowing the barf that kept creeping into my mouth I called JP. I don’t even remember what she said because she’s all calm, sweet and good hearted. But we both agreed that Speidi deserve each other. We didn’t even speculate last night about the show wrapping up in a tidy end where Lauren and Heidi become friends again and Spencer finally get’s dumped and combusts into a flaming pile of shit and we can resume our normal 30something lives like regular people. No, that dream is the only thing that went up in smoke last night. Now I can’t wait to watch next week – Monday can’t come soon enough.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
He's also aDORable on THE BONNIE HUNT SHOW (which you are INSANE if you are not watching!).
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
I mean, come on! That's NUTS! Sooo cooool! UPDATE: Mr. Lieberman is straight. So, my crush is over. But, I still LOVE his show!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Please take the time today to vote. Even if you have to wait in line for hours, it's worth it! This is an historic election. Our country was overthrown in 2000 by a Republican appointed Supreme Court, and defrauded in 2004 by too many shady campaign pranks. This is your chance to finally put an end to this 8 year nightmare. Vote for change! Vote for Barack Obama. The future of this country depends on YOU!
Monday, November 3, 2008
Bursting onto the American music scene after signing with Capitol Records in 1950, the raven-haired Sumac was known as the "Nightingale of the Andes," the "Peruvian Songbird" and a "singing marvel" with a 5-octave voice. It wasn't just what she sang, but how she sang it. There truly will only ever be ONE Yma Sumac.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
The other kinda funny sketch on the show was Ben Affleck as Keith Olbermann. It was way too long, but they got a couple of Grade A zingers in at Mr. Pompous Oblemann. Here's an excerpted preview. I think you can click on the clip to see the full-length clip and all the clips from last night's show on HULU. (Yay, HULU!)
And, then there was John McCain who appeared on the show twice. I swear to g-d it almost seems as if he wants to lose this election. I refer you to HULU.com or NBC.com from the lengthy clips, but he did NOT do himself ANY favors by being on SNL last night. He even got booed at one point.